that each second that passes is a second closer to my death
and i couldnt be more grateful.

And now I'm hungry.
I thought *** is what made me
so carnivorous,
but now I see that all I need
is to breath you in.
That alone creates an expanse that
needs to be filled.
And if not by the taste
of your tongue
then meats and breads
must suffice.

All I want is to make you happy
Turning all your tears & sadness into shooting stars & galaxies
And the times you'll feel like you're drowning, I'll risk my life & pull you back to shore, despite the fact that I can't swim
And when you feel like darkness has took over you, I'll be the moonlight that guides you through
I'll be the sunrise to help you get up & remind you a new day is coming
To make you look forward for the sunset, to see how lovely it is just like you

I'll do these all for you because you are my sun on which my world gravitates to
You're my whole night sky & the whole reason why I'm twinkling all the time because of how much you make me happy
You're that sunflower that makes my day a whole light brighter
You're my whole **** ocean, the deeper you swim is knowing how much I adore you
You're that beautiful rainbow I always look forward to see after the bad rainy days I'm having
And you are that shooting star that only comes once in a life time, because I was blessed you came into my life & that is a wish I'd never regret wishing

But all these things just weren't enough
Because it seems it were all the reason to make you leave
For you have found someone who's presence you can't describe in any of the alphabet
Someone who's voice reminds you of the peaceful serene sound the ocean makes
A girl who gives you tingles all over your body, while I was the wasps you have mistaken for butterflies
Someone who's got you thinking of metaphors about love and got you singing all these love songs

So now here I am a hurricane mess
A tornado of destruction
The girl who used to have stars in her lungs, but I've burned them with all the cigarettes I was smoking
And those flowers that were growing in the bottom of stomach are long gone, because you can't water flowers with *****
For I had the sky in my brain, but I've been shattered apart the day you said you were leaving & now it's just a stormy weather up there
And I had the ocean in my eyelids to show you that we could sail together through this cruel world, but now I'm just left crying a river for you
That taste of fresh picked strawberries in my lips, now tastes like broken promises & wrecked expectations
And my hands that used to fit with yours, are just plain empty just like every **** part of me
All the beautiful things that were in my life are gone in that instance just like how you left just like that

today is the twelth
and i wonder if
that had any effect on you at all.
or if you even looked at calendar.
because you're all i've thought about.
at my cousin's wedding
i had to go in the restroom
to hide away my tears.
and i got a stuffed animal.
her name is sage.
but murphy is much softer.
and i miss him
almost as much as i miss you.