Hannah Turner

Hannah Turner Jul 2014

empty

Not a day goes by where I don’t think of him. Where I don’t miss my best friend. And then the painful reality never ceases to make me feel even more empty: we are not friends. We are just two strangers with a whole lot of memories broken on both ends. And that’s all we’ll ever be.

Hannah Turner Jun 2014

wait

Wait for the boy who will text you back.
Who loves you when you’re not so easy to love.
The one who makes mistakes but is willing to fight through them with you.
The one who actually cares about every part of you.
The one who wouldn’t play games with you because he intentionally wants to pursue you with no room for confusion.
The one who will never let you go to sleep feeling alone.

Wait for the one who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Wait for him.

Hannah Turner May 2014

This is not a love story

Three weeks ago you were telling her how much you missed her at 4am. It must have been the alcohol...because you have avoided her ever since. The amount of texts she sends to you with no reply is almost embarrassing, but more than that it's painful-your silence screams volumes in her ears.

It was her birthday three days ago...and you said nothing. As the sun began to set her heart began to drop when she realized the one "happy birthday" she was waiting for never came. And that's when she knew it was over. You've let her down multiple times...but never quiet like this.

You destroyed the one person who would drop everything for you, who fought for you and loved you with all honesty.

So, she confused a lesson for a soulmate and because of that she is broken...but not beyond repair. You see time and Jesus will heal her soon enough. And when she's too busy enjoying the simple beauties and marveling at what it means to be alive-someone will walk into her life. Someone who will protect and cherish her heart instead of use it for selfish gain.

The storm you set on her is now a light drizzle...and soon you will be nothing but a mist

She will wake up one day and the memories won't haunt her, because now she is strong enough to finally put the past in the past. And all you will be is a distant memory with a lesson learned, and you will lose all power you ever had over her.

Hannah Turner May 2014

melatonin is for writers

These days I have to take melatonin to make me fall asleep. I thought I could go without tonight-but I find myself here again at 12:23AM. The thoughts of you are keeping me awake. Dreams and hopes mixed with anxieties of the unknown. Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling. I wish more than anything I could tell you these words. Knowing you-you are probably up as well, although for different reasons. And if you too are awake -I pray I may cross your mind. It is now 12:37AM and you are still here. Please fall asleep so that I can too.

Oct 16 2013

Hannah Turner Apr 2014

you're gone and I'm moving on

At one point you made me feel
like I was the only girl in the world that you could love.
Your affectionate touch, your soft spoken words.
In every way making me feel like I was yours.
All those days we spent together,
all those late nights I wish’d would last forever.
I never thought it would all be gone.

I can’t blame you entirely
for giving up on and letting me go so easily.
It seems I’m the only one surprised at how this ended.
I just didn’t know it was possible
for someone so intentional and caring
to be washed over in a sea of apathy.
Because when I needed you most
you ran scared and left me alone because you didn’t care.
Now the memories are not sweet-all they do is sting.

Everyday that passes every hour that drags on, your silence rings volumes in my ear. Because just like that you disappeared.

Everyday that passes every hour that drags on, I’ve come to terms that you really are gone.

Everyday that passes every hour that drags on every tick of the second hand, I am that much further in moving on.

Hannah Turner Apr 2014

The Story of Us: The Sequel

We get back to school and, once again, out of nowhere you come back into my life. You began to care for me in ways I've never felt cared about. So fast I don't even remember how it started, our relationship built. And as our favorite heroine Hazel Grace would say:
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep..slowly then all at once"

Those next two months I experienced joy I didn't even know possible for someone like me..and mostly because of you.
My heart for you exploded and I wanted to take every opportunity to treat you right. My friends thought I was going insane..accusing him of using me for selfish gain.

Its almost funny..how love can completely blind you. You see that light in someone and it distorts your vision of who they really are.
I saw a light in you..a light that no one, not even yourself saw.
And I had faith in that light..in you.

But there comes a point when that light gets fainter and dimmer..the veil is lifted, and that "light" is not worth fighting for anymore.
I gave you so many chances to prove everyone wrong.
But you showed me how easy it was to let me go, to give up.
Your silence is something I may never get over.

You used me up like a piece of paper, got what you wanted out of me, crumpled me up and threw me away.
And while I'm over here with a broken heart and dragging days, you're over there-completely silent and doing okay.

So just know, when I cross your mind and you decide to come back into my life..I'm not going to let you in this time.

maybe its me and my blind optimism to blame..or maybe its you and your sick need to give love and take it away

Hannah Turner Apr 2014

silence and apathy

I don't want to wake up crying
Because I had another dream
About you caring.

Your silence is the most hurtful thing.

#love #heartbreak