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 Jan 2014 Hannah Adair
R
it was dark,
the things she wrote,
the thoughts she had,
the lies that marked her porcelain skin.
her voice screamed, "help!"
and yet the demon inside
ripped her voice away
piece by piece until only
death remained inside her mind.

her eyes couldn't see the lies
for the fog that was made of pure deception
clouded her mind and filled her lungs
with the lies swirling inside her.
the smoke became too much
and the demons would only let her see
the vein on her wrist and the
box of blades that were just
waiting...
and
waiting...
they were waiting for her to  b    re       a          
                                                     ­                        k
to be p    u  s  h      e            d      to far
to make her feel everything
and then nothing at all.

As she wrote desperately,
trying to find her inner peace,
she died, sacrificing herself to those demons inside
she found eternal silence,
one that not even the angels could hear.
My dear, didn't you know that you were an angel?
Why did you believe the voices that said you couldn't fly?
Why did you believe the god forsaken lies?
Why?
Even though you didn't die (thank god for that) you died on the inside while in your teens and in college. I am so proud of you for staying here even through your hardest years. x
Today is your birthday, spindle-top maid.
Another year of desolate bridges.
Bridges by us, once believed to be true,
now laid to rest in mineralised brine.

Though my desires have long since faded,
small town streets will forever sing your name,
calling, calling, for youth and infant love.
Time may have set, but as with Giza stone

you lay in evidence of what has been.
And now, in years progressed, I tend to this,
my page. Some hungover apology,
for cruelness, that in ignorance, I wreaked.

For, though in my life there is ugliness,
and evil now apparent in this world;
I have learnt through experience, virtue
of kindness, of careful tread upon land.

Oh, mother of Horus, and Christian slave,
you bought me devotion in time of aid.
I'm calling, calling, in meekness undue,
for your sandstone likeness to hold in place.

With time comes erosion, African wind,
to scorch at the kindness, held to your breast.
So, in fear of forced blindness, cynical
waste; I mumble in this dirt-kissed prayer.

God of knowledge, oh God of braying flock,
bring to me your scripture, word of Thoth.
All so I can deliver, all so I
can sing; this tuneless ode of my redress,

this humbled hope for spring.
 Dec 2013 Hannah Adair
Ellen L
Everything I Needed to Know in Life I Learned in Concert Band

Play from your heart
Follow the leader
Help set up
Sit up straight
Take deep breaths
Be prepared – always have extra supplies just in case
Drink plenty of water
Eat food at an appropriate time
Listen to the people around you
Playing in the rain is ok if you have the right gear
Clap for someone when they do a good job
Plan ahead
Have a pencil ready
Have an eraser ready
Wipe up your own spit
Keep track of your belongings
Read carefully, observing all marks
Count
Come in when you can
Listen to those around you to see where you fit in
If you are lost – ask someone for help
Music is for everyone
Play from your heart
A good leader inspires and encourages
Try to get along with people in different sections
Be friendly
Be humble
Stick together
Compliment others
Be on time
Leave on time
Laugh with people but not at people
Appreciate those who are different from you
If you are moved – it is ok to cry
It is also ok to laugh
Try your hardest
Play as a team
Team work is not just for athletes
It is not about winning – it is about finishing
And doing your best
Practice
Pick up after yourself
Put your chair away when you are done
Be proud of what you do right
Let go of what you do wrong
Try to do better each time
Strive for 100% but know that 99% is ok
Surround yourself with good people
Don't give up
Know that everyone is important to the group and has a contribution to make
Playing quietly communicates just as much as playing loudly
Sometimes silence is golden
Having a great leader makes all the difference
Play from your heart


Inspired by and acknowledgement given to Robert Fulghum’s for his poem and book, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”
All armies are the same
Publicity is fame
Artillery makes the same old noise
Valor is an attribute of boys
Old soldiers all have tired eyes
All soldiers hear the same old lies
Dead bodies always have drawn flies
 Dec 2013 Hannah Adair
M
Read last.
 Dec 2013 Hannah Adair
M
I'm sure right now you're thinking that this is the part where I confess all of the terrible things I've done and kept secret from you, but it's not. This is the part where I tell you that I stay awake, because either I've convinced myself that I cannot sleep, or I've given up on trying to convince myself I can do it without you. I play music to distract myself from you and I smoke because it helps me breathe again. Meanwhile I paint you for my ears every time I write, and I smoke because I hope it makes you mad, and I want you mad because I'd do anything to feel something from you again. I want to take all of the blame, because I always said that it didn't matter what you did, I will never leave you. I don't care if it's a mistake, it can't be, but even if it was, I wouldn't care. I make a million mistakes everyday and I'd be okay with waking up to you being my first. It doesn't matter to me how terrible we say we are together, because it'd be terrible with anyone else, and at least I'd get to be in love with you. And maybe I was angry, maybe I am angry, but ****** you're beautiful, and I'd blister and burn if it meant holding you. Partially because we both know how stubborn we are, and mostly because  we both know how bad we want the same things. I want you to know that I look like hell right now. I haven't been upset, but I haven't cared about the way I've been seen lately. So, I just continue to look like hell, and this is the kind of hell you always said was beautiful. I've stood in the cold for you before. The wind stung my ears, but It felt good because I could still hear your voice.
 Dec 2013 Hannah Adair
kaitlyn
cold stream of air,
clear, raw sky, rare
wisps and little shrouds
or shawls of clouds
fast fleeting.

low sun lancing,
screened less
by intervening
trees' unleaved undress.

I stand in fleece
and boots, out back
a breath, a break
of afternoon, the stir,
to mark the slide away
of bright and shivering day.
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