What would heaven look like
if you held
it
in your hands?

If you asked nicely
My shoes would whisper
Stories of the horizons you
Have yet to meet

I should have told her bout the colors that I saw before.
The onces they fell out from my eyes
and spilt across the floor.

I should have told her when she asked me, dared me to explore
the reaching roots of time and sooth;
the seed, the growth, the spore.

There is fear in the allure.

The moon is on the rise;

no near for far, i'm sure

I don't know,
how to turn on my heels
and leave you lonely,
even if it would be better for us both.

And I don't know
how to use the arms
that hold you close at night
to push you away
even though I know I need too.

I am beginning to find too much comfort
in your scars
too much laughter by your side,
too much sweetness in your kisses
and I do not want to be that close to someone again.

Because today I received a letter
thick and important,
giving me my freedom
to leave this town I have lived in my whole life,
and you.
I will leave you too.

I am going to go
788 miles away from your sleepy eyes
and messy hair.

I want to,
I want to fall into a world
where no one knows me,
and I will be cleansed
by the blanket
of anonymity.

I am still figuring out,
how to fold my fingers into yours
without holding on too tightly,
but I will keep your name in my pocket,
your words beneath my tongue,
and I will leave.
I will leave.

What came first, the subject or the predicate?
"I am."
The shortest sentence.
Why can't I just forget it yet?

Both It and I meant for this
(the that which made this way).
Both It and I sent this self to blossoms and decay.

Relentless,
the fray.

Better grab some while you can.
Remember when you said "no, you ain't my man?"
Years from now you'll be alone,
and I'll be writing novels, my talent full grown.
A single tear from your eye will fall,
but don't even bother wasting time making a call.
You made a decision, now you gotta live by it,
and they'll be paying me to speak, tv and ****.
Someday, your boyfriend will by a book,
he'll read you one line from it and you'll know its me without even a look.
You have a man, he's on your arm,
when you see my name on the shelves, I'll be long gone.
You'll realize what you had,
but you threw it all away, you must've been mad.
Someday, you'll see that it's all true,
no need to debate, I'm the best at what I do.

You might be thinking "****, this boy's arrogant"
but you gotta fake it 'till you make it and then a little more.
But for now, I'll sell my **** to buy drugs
and when I'm all out of **** I'll start stealing
and when I've stolen everything, I'll start earn it.
And when I've earned the highest accolades
I'll just smile
because I told you so,
and you told him he was the one.

Someday you'll cry because there won't be a sunrise,
and you'll realize the mistake you've made.
I may be a loser ****** right now,
but the next bump will be last
just like the one I blew five minutes ago
just like the first time I ever tried it a high school bathroom
just like every bump in between.