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 Nov 2013 haley
I knew not cold

Until I called your shadow my home.

Years have since passed

But your cuts remain fresh,

Leaving me haggard,

Blind to my own radiance.

We know each other no longer

But you hold a place in my heart

Born in jealousy,

Reborn in hatred,

With sharp pangs of love

Which refuse to be drowned.
 Oct 2013 haley
Amanda In Scarlet
I am judged to be
And though I know
It not to be so,
It still pierces like a knife.
I refuse to be a scapegoat;
I am sick of being judged
And will do my absolute best
to ruin
Mr 'Average/Poor'.
Unfortunately for him
I am not 'Average/Poor'
With language,
And he is about to find out
That I have an above average temper
And a very poor level of tolerance
For unfair, political *******,
And this nightmare of a year.
 Oct 2013 haley
maybella snow
two brothers
twins, one blonde hair
one brown        

one drowned himself and    
is now six feet down  
one smoking six packets      
to try and drown thoughts

one knew me  
as happy
one knows me
as sad    

one broke down
deep cuts and burns  
one is breaking  
shallow cuts, burnt lungs

i love the brown-haired

i'm falling for the blonde-haired

they both love me
one will never return
is it time to save myself?
..and him?
is it right?
or are we both
just sad and

and now, you've dyed your hair brown
and you look exactly like him
don't die on me
 Oct 2013 haley
Amanda In Scarlet
He is the first thing I see
As sleep comes upon me
And as I wake to greet the world.
The Sufi
Knows me
Shows me
Purity and beauty.
He calls to me.
I listen
And I try to understand.
I am privileged to have this beautiful painting in my bedroom, I love that it is the first thing I see when I open my eyes in the morning.  You can see the painting here  :

It's by my favourite artist, Armando Alemdar-Ara.
 Sep 2013 haley
Amanda In Scarlet
I wish I could spare you words like beautiful, babe, figure and thin.
I wish I could guarantee you a complete disregard for the size of your *******
Or the length of your legs.
I pray never to find you hunched over the toilet
Or hiding a sandwich under books in your bag.
What will the equivalent of cyberbullying be, in ten years time?
I will try, so very hard, to keep you safe.

Please, always talk to each other, and to me.
Share your heart’s bleedings
And I will help you staunch the flow.
I will find the courage to share my failings
And the confidence to pass on my successes,
Both were instrumental in my becoming the woman I am,
A woman I hope you will be proud of, and applaud.

It is hard to be a woman, in this world,
Urged, relentlessly to perfection,
Bombarded with it, drowned in it,
But perfection is a myth, and becomes imperfect with attainment,
It is the imperfections that will mesmerise,
Embrace them, love them, let them shine.

How long did it take me to learn these lessons?
Have I learned them, even now?
Sometimes I think I have, then I become overwhelmed
By anxiety and self-doubt.
This will happen to you too,
I cannot hope to save you from it
But I can provide some armour.

Think for yourselves,
Reject the babble and the screens, the illusion of celebrity
Twenty-first century addictions.
Do not become a slave to technology.
I can see how hard that will be,
But it must be done, if you are to remain people,
Retain your humanity.
I will help you; I will hold your hands.

You are tiny now, but I can see the strength within you both,
And I will nurture it, protect it,
Then it will protect you, out there.
I promise I will always be your tigress,
But you will not always be my little cubs
I will have to find a way to sheath my claws,
And let you stalk your own prey,
And evade the predators, just as I have done.

I watch you, playing happily together in the sun,
And wish you peace, and love, and joy.
Such simple things, yet so elusive.
I will not show you this poem.
But I will read it, frequently,
And try to keep my promises.
My heart thuds in my chest, each a double-beat
A constant repetition of your names,
Tattooed onto my soul.
 Sep 2013 haley
Madisen Kuhn
Here’s something you seldom hear: don’t always listen to your heart. Because if your heart is like mine, it’s often fickle and confused. Emotions aren’t always true, they may come and go with the wind. Feelings trick us into believing lies. You look in the mirror and feel inadequate. You hear something so many times that you start to believe it’s true. You take a situation and manipulate it till it’s something completely false. But it’s time you start listening to your head: you may not be in control of what you feel, but you are in control of how you handle those feelings. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I know I am beautiful.” Refuse to believe the lies. Remind yourself of your many wonderful qualities. Don’t read too far into things, take them as they are. Worrying doesn’t change tomorrow, it just makes today more troublesome. Decide to be happy. Decide to be okay. Don’t believe everything you feel.
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