i lay awake in this empty room with
a miasma of dark thoughts that eat me away until im nothing but flesh and bone.

*how can i feel so tired
yet restless at the same time?

your incessant interrogating is useless
i don't know what's wrong with me either

it's the kind of darkness that not even the brightest star in the universe could illuminate.
it starts in my heart then proceeds to consume my mind until eventually i am a walking and talking mass of gray and black.
does the color of your soul mimic the piercing blue of your eyes?
i never wanted things to be this way.
you're a thousand miles away riding buses to places unknown
while i'm writing sad poems of how much i miss you
and sitting on this bench that once sat us both
with teary eyes
holding on to every ounce of hope
that this was all only a nightmare.
and my deliberations are like clockwork..

this isn't real
this isn't real
*this isn't real

you can have withdrawals from anything if you miss it hard enough..
what i found in you was unlike any drug around

despair is in my heart
i am displaced
faced with feelings i cannot control

our dreams are foreboding;
endless running through tunnels of black.
you forgot about me
and i slept alone in my bitterness.

you have a way with words
and by that i mean you only speak in apologies
im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry
it would be ok if you didnt apologize for all the wrong things.