There is nothing cleaner
than a freckled spotted hyena
drinking warm retsina
outside a Catholic church

There's nothing more obtuse
than an educated moose
running aboot the hoose
looking for a shoe

There is nothing more verbose
than a really exceptionally long line of prose that didn't quite rhyme at the end

Spiders in my basket
spiders in my soup
spider on my eider down
spiders loop the loop

Spiders on the ceiling
now crawling down the wall
there's a spider on my pillow
someone hear my call

Spiders changing faces
never far from ear
scrip and scrat the little feet
tell me spiders are too near

I sleep with my mouth open

Initial impressions of my first week at the warehouse, well, controlled chaos. And so much paperwork you wouldn’t believe, everything has to be checked in, filed, copied and passed onto accounts for the Big Guy upstairs. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it, the others make it look so ****** easy, but some of them have been doing this since His birth. Most of the time I sitting about waiting for someone to give me something to do, I must look like a right tool. Anyway, mustn’t complain, I was lucky to get this promotion, could’ve spent my entire life cycle in the bowels, or kidneys or some other monotonous department, count your blessings I say.

The mornings are the busy time, when he wakes up and all those nocturnal ideas and dreams come flooding in, it’s a real job to keep up, everything has to be logged in and stored away before he’s aware they exist. Someone; and I won’t say who left a sub; that’s a subconscious memory on the front counter and it was ages before anyone realised it was missing. We eventually cornered it in block F12, by now it had grown to nine times its normal size and was making such a racket there was the very real danger that He would notice it, I’m told that these things are locked away for a very good reason. Occasionally one escapes but I’m told it’s very rare.

The night shift rolls in when He’s settling down for the night, they have a lot less to do but I don’t think I’d like it much, a colleague told me it gets very scary here alone with the dreams and nightmares, not every sub from His childhood was accounted for and they’re said to roam the corridors and levels looking for someone to *****. I was given a guided tour of level five last night, there’s a huge vault at G5 and H2, its’ never been opened since day one. If you put your ear next to it you can hear a noise, a sort of rhythmic thump, it’s been growing in volume since the half life, no-one knows what it is, it isn’t a happy sound if you ask me.

Anyway, it’s been a good start and I hope when I get my review they’ll keep me on. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten, anything of interest be sure I’ll let you know.

If quizzes are quizzical
and bibles be biblical
are mystics too mystical
for passing their physical?

So does that mean
Tests
are just … short examinations ?

‘Cough please.’

I saw that crow one misting morn
scrabbling low with beakish scorn
his tailored coat splat dappled grey
the beading eye he cast my way

The plumage pale yet marks him out
no brother to the dark and stout
for mourning coat he'd gladly trade
the stabs and pecks of darkling babes

'gainst weathered rug of autumn mush
this feathered lozenge amidst the brush
knows his place at margins bare
without a friend, without a care