I’m tired, I wish I could sleep more.
I went to the bathroom, I looked in the mirror.
I practiced my fake smile, I might need it today.
Black clothes are my favorite, I put a black band t-shirt on.
I put my hair up, I look in the mirror again.
I see a broken hearted girl with parents who don’t love her.
I want to die; I don’t want to fight or struggle anymore.
I wanted to get away from my parents, I still do.
I don’t want to keep moving around.
I feel like a piece of furniture that people buy and then later sell.
My birth-family didn’t want me, my adoptive parents don’t want me do they?

Wildflowers
Remind me of people.
Their all different, not one exactly the same.
Some are beautiful.
Some are bright.  
I love them all.
They bring me joy.

Never find fault in yourself, you were created in perfection. In the image of God.
Never be normal, be different. That makes you special. It makes you who you are.
Never hide in the shadows, shine in the light that is waiting for you.
You may be in darkness, but you are not alone. There are those who are walking beside you. You can feel their presence, their aura.
Close your eyes and concentrate on the love our aura gives. Feel yourself drawn to warmth of hugs and close embraces. Feel the hands holding you. Fall into us. Find comfort and peace. Then put the knife down and sleep in our embrace.

Suicide, my killer.
Anorexia, my friend.
Razors and knifes, a tool to cut my wrist.
Pens, they smear, I hate them. Paper, once you write on paper it’s official.
I have things holding me down, life is depressing.
Yes, I smile and laugh, it never lasts.
I’m sorry grandma.
I’m sorry mom.
Apologizes are forgiven, but it happens over and over and they say sorry. You keep forgiving.
I’m tired of living, it’s hard.

You remind me of crystals.
You shimmer and shine.
You are beautiful, you don’t look human.
Your skin is cold, your never warm enough.
You are my best-friend.
You are only in my imagination.

Can you teach me how to fly?
I have fallen so many times.
Don’t be scared to help me.
I’m broken inside, believe you will be fine.
I won’t let you touch the broken pieces of my life, I don’t want you cut.
Please help me fly.
Please don’t be scared of me.

I feel like I’m dying each day.
I feel like I’m suffocating, no one is there to help me breath.
Sometimes I feel so bad.
It’s an overwhelming feeling.
Do you see me?
Have I become invisible?

I hugged you for the first time in 3 months.
You smelled good.
You smelled of sweat pea and vanilla.
The blue shirt you had on tonight, it smelled like your cookies and it smelled like dad.
I wish I could have kept hugging you.
I love you.