The guilt
You graciously

Gifted to me

I held onto for years

For who was I to return
What you had made
Just for me

I wonder
Is it harder now for you
To learn to swim

Because the shame I shed

Is anchored to you now

Tell me
If you’ve changed
Does the ghost of who you were
Cling to your coattails

I am now
Well beyond sutures
Barely even scarred
Have your wounds healed?

I have my doubts

I hope you
Absolve yourself
If it can help you heal

Forgive
By never becoming that person
Again

Boy,
You are thick
And I mean no compliment

Getting through you
Is wading in quick sand
When no ones
That skilled of a swimmer

I collected red flags
From you
As if I were going to
Create a runaway
To always lead you
Waving please come back home

If you don’t remember
I can remind you
I bottled your anger up on shelves
They shake back and fourth
Without any wind

Rewrite our history
If it soothes you
Just know
I now
See through you

Don’t be fooled,
I smile and bite
With the same teeth



The soft lips

Trailing down your neck

Can pierce your jugular
Like a peach


Don’t be fooled,
This honeysuckle sweet

Turns to poison when need be

See my gentle heart

Can flip to hard

Unpenatrable


Don’t be fooled,

I’ve leave just as quickly
As I came


A fleeting thought

Leaving you whispering
My ******* name

I can feel it boiling
Brewing like a storm
Pebbles turn to boulders
In my gut

Is it rage
Or a sadness
We can't name

Perhaps a whirlpool
Or a tornado
That will tear down
This whole ******* town

Caution tape
Will not suffice
Run for your ******* life

You've entered into my home
With mud on your feet
Stomping carelessly

But there is no rawer form
Than me with my art
It is not a piece of the puzzle
It's a chunk of my heart

It is laying naked before you
In the most intimate way
It is peeling back my ribcage

And here you are
To infiltrate my safe space
You entitled
Little snake
Believe me, darling
This was your greatest mistake

I never knew a love
So gentle
Until you

A tenderness so unfamiliar
Unsettling
Uncertain
Waiting for the shoe to drop
But it never did

Loving you
Has been unlearning
Anticipating reactions
That will never happen

Loving you
Has been accepting
That I deserve healthy
I deserve gentle
I deserve you

There is nothing more beautiful
Than the power
Of the human body

The twitch of a muscle
Flexing behind taught skin
To do what you've asked of it


The rush of crimson
Flushing cheeks
When a loved one
Is in close proximity

The awareness
Of who occupies a space
The quick ability to analyze
"Are we safe?"

The pounding of hearts
Racing in tandem
Entangled in covers

The intricacies of our bodies
Are profound
How could we believe
We were anything less than absolute