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10W
Grace Apr 2018
10W
Ate you
To the core
And they still want more
Grace Sep 2015
And when I wake
The pressure is too much to take
Hands I trusted and had traced
Pressing on my shoulder blades

A crescent moon smile
Parting like seas
Unveiling rows
Of sharpened teeth

Time has
Made you into a ghost
And you won't stop haunting me
Because I want to sleep the whole night through.
Grace Jan 2019
There is nothing more beautiful
Than the power
Of the human body

The twitch of a muscle
Flexing behind taught skin
To do what you've asked of it


The rush of crimson
Flushing cheeks
When a loved one
Is in close proximity

The awareness
Of who occupies a space
The quick ability to analyze
"Are we safe?"

The pounding of hearts
Racing in tandem
Entangled in covers

The intricacies of our bodies
Are profound
How could we believe
We were anything less than absolute
When you can't sleep in Kansas...
Grace Aug 2018
“It’ll get better”
Comes no timeline
Or strings attached

They say change is slow
But healing
Is a continuum
A push in pull
In both directions

I used to never look forward
The now was too encompassing
Ingesting me

The pain a sea
No land in sight
And I was only treading

But I have made it
Named it
Overcame it

Because I am hope
I am strength
I am resiliency
And so are you
Cathartic
Grace Mar 2020
I woke up today
My bones
Were not cement

It was waking up
On the bottom of the ocean
A thousand leagues
Pushing on my chest

I could see you
Above me
The clear view
Before you surface

Waving hello to me
Or perhaps
Goodbye
The funny thing is
There's no way to tell the difference
Grace Sep 2016
Existing
In the after
Is a skill I've had to master
Grace Apr 2020
“Use this time to better yourself”
You’ve got to be
******* kidding me
Tell me it’s a joke
Meant to make my sides ache
Left in stitches

Darling,
It’s a miracle
If I can drag myself from this bed
A compromise of opening a window
As a substitute for stepping outside

This room is stale
Heavy and thick
With uncertainty
A tension you could cut or even touch

No amount of sleep
Can wipe the tired from my eyes
I swear it’s packed into my bones
Our weaving through my capillaries
There’s no blood here anymore

I’ll use this time
Simply to
Survive
Grace Aug 2015
Wish these intentions
Were never intended
A slip up
From the path we were destined
A step out
Of a synchronized line

But this is an ambush
Baited my gentle heart
Can no longer be soft
When those looking out
Draw the curtains now

Victim
The scapegoat from your body
Bullet train out of your brain
You reframed my world
And I was the back drop

A shadow
A shell
A dream of a future
You stole from me
And it can never be replaced
Grace Apr 2015
Decorate my throat with your palms
Vines slithering up buildings
Press like the walls closing in
Make my breath catch in my throat
A pile of secrets I hadn't spoke

Trace my skin, a road map--
Leaving home glowing in the rear view
Commit me to memory
Mapped in the palms of your hands

Send my cold blood rushing
Frozen heart pumping
Bring me back to life
I've been dying to feel alive

Paint me in your love
A vibrant glowing gold
Pour sunshine in my bones
Rid me of the endless winter cold
Grace Dec 2016
The power in the room
Reverberates of the walls
A steady shared heartbeat
A collective consciousness
Pulsing behind our skin

It has been ingrained
That silence is synonymous
For woman
But our voices
Could shake the foundation
On which they stand

Tell me,
Does that scare you?
For we should


Taught to be timid
Conditioned to give in
To squeeze into spaces
We are wrongfully put in

But in this room full of women
Who have discovered
They are too big
To fit in these boxes
We’ve been given

I can finally breathe again
Grace Aug 2015
Bottom of the abyss
To soaring in the skylines
Burning up like stars
Empty dead beautiful matter

Self-medicated generation
Roll up the issues
And burn the evidence

The emptiness a sea
We’re all drowning in
Irony at its finest
But of course we are blinded

Quench thirsts with flesh
Insatiable for sensation
Puppets to temptation
Are our heads vacant?

Blessed with a spirit
Burdened by a vessel
We will fill our spaces with air
In place of foundation
A plea to my generation
Grace Aug 2020
With a thousand miles between us
Your frequency still reaches me sometimes
A low static buzz
I’ve learned to tune out

You will creep into my dreams
A slow fog circling my ankles
Your voice a mist around me

“But really,
What would you do
Without me?”

I always wake drenched
In the anticipation and sweat
Of all I could have said

Without your shame
Accessorizing my skin
A tight necklace
That everyone admires

I blossom

Vines up a building
Protruding through the concrete
Overtaking what was always mine
The reckoning
And reclaiming


Without you
My power is boundless
While yours is finite
It’s what you always feared
I would realize
Grace Sep 2017
Most days
I can check it at the door
A coat shrugged off shoulders
Kissing my blades goodbye
Shoved into the closet
Collecting dust and ghosts

But today
I am boiling over
Screaming kettle on the stove
Singe your skin
On ******* contact

My rage wouldn't just singe
But scorch
Incinerate

Obliterate your entire being
So you can never do to someone else
What you did to me
Oh and *******
Grace Feb 2015
The hatred in  your veins will ignite
Scorch your capillaries
Wilted flowers to soot
A thick darkness cloaking
Suffocating the flames

Venom on drip to the brain
Rushing your system
Chemotherapies newest frame
Spite
Distinguished your embers
What's a life without flame?
Grace Oct 2019
Boy,
You are thick
And I mean no compliment

Getting through you
Is wading in quick sand
When no ones
That skilled of a swimmer

I collected red flags
From you
As if I were going to
Create a runaway
To always lead you
Waving please come back home

If you don’t remember
I can remind you
I bottled your anger up on shelves
They shake back and fourth
Without any wind

Rewrite our history
If it soothes you
Just know
I now
See through you
Grace Oct 2016
I'm envious
Of the freckles
Swirled across your shoulder blades
For the sun got to kiss you
A million times a day
Grace Aug 2015
Confines/Coffins
By Grace Espinoza

Trapped in the confines
Or the coffins
Of beautiful dark minds
Obscuring our view
A constant filter
To the sunshine

I dream to press that
Sunshine into concrete bones
Enlighten you
To the gold already glinting in those bones

I think love can travel an ocean
I know mine can stretch a state
It could travel the world
If you were the end destination

Let that sink in
Settle behind warm skin
Never lose sight
Of your golden bones
For you are the sunshine in my life
BECAUSE YOU MATTER
Grace Apr 2017
My quick wit becomes lack luster
When you promised
It was what made me shine
But you don't have room for a woman
With a spit fire mind

Not your cookie cutter woman
Fitting into a too small of frame
I am quick wit and a sharp tongue
Fast enough where you just might miss it

But my sharp tongues only valuable
If it's tracing up your thighs
And my brains only beautiful
If it's firing impulses
Saying **** him right

You want the pieces of me
That fit the mark
Potato peeler to the rest
What makes the cut?

I am not programmable
To be the person that you dream
Nor would I ever want to be

It took years to come into my own
To cherish this olive skin
And cement bones
To admire my passion
And let it fuel my fire

Believe me, darling
I will burn it down
I am enough and more
Grace Apr 2016
Shed this sorrow
Clothes peeled from skin
Tuck the worries into bed
Rightfully put to rest

Composing symphonies
Upon collar bones
Across shoulder blades
Syncopated with ragged heartbeats

Writers block
Could be cured by ****
****** into bliss
Replacing perspiration
Inspiration on skin

This drought in my head
Could flood again
Be my muse
Something to use
Grace Sep 2016
You will find what is
Hidden
In what isn’t
Because love doesn't feel painful
Grace Feb 2019
Don’t be fooled,
I smile and bite
With the same teeth



The soft lips

Trailing down your neck

Can pierce your jugular
Like a peach


Don’t be fooled,
This honeysuckle sweet

Turns to poison when need be

See my gentle heart

Can flip to hard

Unpenatrable

Don’t be fooled,

I’ve leave just as quickly
As I came


A fleeting thought

Leaving you whispering
My ******* name
Grace Jan 2016
You’re the smell of cigarettes
Caught between my fingernails
Underneath my skin once again
The ******* song stuck in my head
Blaring on repeat
There’s nothing else
Just your rhythm and I can’t sleep
You’re there
Even in my dreams
Dreams that end in screams
My fists clenching sheets
Holding secrets I cannot bear to keep
I’m drowning in these memories
But words always come too late


They say a poet will keep you immortal
But your legacy will haunt your name
I promise you
I’ll make sure you go down in flames

Two more months
And every cell you’ve every touched
Will have slipped off my skin
I will have my body back
And you will never brand me again
Because I woke up at 4 a.m. and I couldn't breath
Grace Nov 2016
An ember
A second away from being extinguished
An instant away from a spark

While the world works
To ***** us out
We maintain our warmth

These obstacles
Simply fuel
To our fire

Perhaps to them
We are not a threat
But forest fires
Start with a spark
Don't you underestimate me, darling.
Grace Jan 2019
It has been a while
So long I worried
I'd forgotten the steps
The sensation
As you slip from my system
Your poison was too much
My own blood letting

But this is still my dance
It's a lovers lips
Or perhaps their hips
A synchronization
A second skin
Begging for me
To slide back in

My words
Redeem me
With a pen
You are fictitious
And I invest no power
In the imaginary
Grace Feb 2015
Today
The fog cleared
And I knew you were gone
Grace Aug 2015
Wish I could lose you
Slip through burn holes in my brain
Alice in wonderland wormholes
A reality galaxies from mine

Instead you remain
The purple imprinted to my eyelids
The melting skyline
Kissing me in its soft glow

Instead I cannot find me
Beneath the folds
Of your ribcage
Peek-a-boo through bones
Glimpses of light
Radiating through your skin
Is only of who I used to be
Grace Feb 2020
Given the chance
You’d drape my skin
Right across your bones
Starting at your shoulder blades
And it still would not
Be too close

Given the chance

You’d wear me like
Your favorite sweater

That never matches anything
A hole in the armpit
From too much wear

Given the chance

You’d hang me
On your bedroom ceiling
So I could reflect back at you
The person you wish you were
Cut throat has always been my style
Grace Sep 2015
Playing parts
Squeezing into molds
With no room for our skin
Let's relive the good times again

Grasping for what's not there
Just gasping for air
Reality a constant pressure
We are grounded here

Tied to our fates
Predisposition to change
But  ache
To cling to all we have made
Because change isn't comfortable but it is where we grow
Grace Oct 2015
You're the stain
On my favorite sweater
A vibrant splotch
That stamps handle with care
Across my forehead

Branded
Your names on the property title
I search for you
In every lovers face
Hidden behind glossy teeth
Lingering in glinting eyes

Take a potato peeler to the brain
Strip my scalp of your memories
The only way to escape
*Fresh flesh won't fear your fingertips
Grace Mar 25
I replay conversations
That haven't happened yet
Over and over
In my tape reel mind
Thought I'd projected
Every outcome
Every possible response
Down to probability
Maths never been a strong suite

Have you ever had a funeral
For someone who is still alive
When you have no body to mourn
But the person you imagined
Has vanished
Packed in the middle of the night
Leaving traces of their life
Dust on the countertops
With no goodbye
Is there a condolence card for that?

Have you ever had to drop a bomb
On the people you love
Blow up the very foundation
Of everything they stood on
Is there a better day to do that?

Perhaps Mondays
Which are historically
Already ****
What's the best day
To ruin someones life?
Grace Jan 2019
You've entered into my home
With mud on your feet
Stomping carelessly

But there is no rawer form
Than me with my art
It is not a piece of the puzzle
It's a chunk of my heart

It is laying naked before you
In the most intimate way
It is peeling back my ribcage

And here you are
To infiltrate my safe space
You entitled
Little snake
Believe me, darling
This was your greatest mistake
******* Creep
Grace Mar 2016
Sailing the sea
With a hole in the boat
Sinking under responsibilities
We forget we can float

Anchored by capabilities
Convinced our bones are dust
Instead of gold

Robbed blind
We are set to drift
But we're not shore wood

We are sailors
Not anchors
And despite these limits
We are infinite
Grace Mar 2016
Today I am free
To be me


Seven years gone
A new skin has set in
Molded to my tender bones
Found a place to call home
Replaced the foreign skin
I've been hiding in

Seven years passed
And I did not survive
I flourished, blossomed
I thrived
Grace May 2017
Nimble fingers
Across shoulder blades
Strumming collarbones
The sweetest sound
To touch your ears

Lips made to stitch
Where bumps and bruises
Decorate
Peach thin skin

I bet your body could blush
A deep sunset red
Blanketing my favorite skyline
So picturesque
Even Picasso would hold his breath
Grace Dec 2015
Maybe this is what trust is
Your scorching hands
Searing my shoulder blades
“I could if I wanted to”
Turned my insides gray

Thirteen year old skin
Stretched thin
Ached to peel away
Where your fingers had played

I was an instrument
But that’s not how I preform
I can only make symphonies now
Alone

I loved you
With every pulse behind my skin
Family
Blood didn’t have to make the bond
My protector
Becomes the predecessor to all my fears

If you’d press your ear against my chest
A reverberation of no’s would pound your eardrum
Freshly thirteen
Stolen firsts
I can never right again

“Don’t act like you don’t want it”
But it was you
Who mastered in pretend
Every word I write makes you more and more fictional.
Grace Mar 2018
Are you still searching for my indent
Traced by the moonlight
Seeking out the heat
The comfort of my bare skin

Is the instinct to extend your arms in the dark
To wrap me up
A mechanical reflex

A familiarity to soothe you back to sleep
A safety net
From the memories
That wander into your dreams

Does the mattress sigh
On only my side
Is the space so infinite
You get lost in it

A sea of covers
To drown in
Or is this the vastness
You were dreaming of
Grace May 2017
Drawing the curtains like sleep
From my eyes
Blinded but dazzled by the light
It's spring cleaning time

Sweep the cowwebs
Decorating dark corners
On the brink of my brain

Snakeskin on the carpet
Finally shed my old self
A million breaths later
But today
I'm reborn

The self made monsters
Just scattered footsteps
Down the hall
Old defense mechanisms
Hold no purpose now

The pieces lost along the way
Were simply just a trade
Even with your interventions
I was destined
To be great
Grace Oct 2017
Power in numbers
The ranks of the resilient
For we are not alone
But I wish we were
That to stand aside
Didn't make it your fight

Wish you couldn't fathom
Begin to imagine
A concept so bleak
It'd leave your head spinning

That it would never be too close to home
Wouldn't touch the skin
Decorating your bones

This war being waged
On our shoulder blades
A burden that makes us bend
And re-frame

But never break
For even though it happened
We are still champions
Because what you did does not define us
Grace Nov 2016
Excuse me
I think you misheard
I whispered
Treat me like I'm worth it
Not worthless
Grace Apr 2015
Faith for the faithless
Your bed the alter
I'm worshipping on my knees
Begging "find something worthy in me"

I found my God
In the folds of your skin
Sought shelter in open arms
Mistaken for angel's wings

Gave you all my prayers
And penance
To someone
Who saw me as a sin
Grace Jun 2015
I wish letting go was easy
A balloon slipping
Through childrens fingertips
Sands that slide easily
From unclenched fists

To feel lighter again
Rid of the constant pressures
Pounding on my chest
Brought back to sea level again

But I am an anchor
Captive to this ship
Depths beneath you
The pressure only thickens
I am dead weight
To be discarded
Whenever you see fit
Grace May 2017
Tell me
Why
It's always clearer
In hindsight
That the grass is actually gray
On the other side
That the glitter in the sun
It just glass in the sand
Wedged between your toes
A cutting edge
That now seems so obvious
Darling,
Love doesn't just make you blind
It plucks the eyes
Right out of your head
And replaces them with marbles
Not hostile just honest
Grace Apr 2017
Perhaps you'll find me
Poking out from her pores
Peek a boo
Through skin

You'll be searching for me
Tucked behind her ear
Lose strands of hair
Drawing you
To trace with eager fingertips

A "perfect match"
Will never shed light
To new dark
It will keep you stagnant
For growth is not synonymous
With comfort

But I pray she meets the mark
Tucks tightly into suitcases
To shove into damp closests
To be packed away
Until the time comes
A trophy to be shown off only when you see fit
Grace Mar 2016
Show me enough
That finally is
For nothing meets the mark

Appease the unappeasable
Fill that ache
Drilled into our hollow bones

Searching for something
But if it's a destination
We're due to never arrive

We could find it
Present in all aspects of life
With faces towards the sun
The shadows can only subside
Grace Dec 2019
The guilt
You graciously

Gifted to me

I held onto for years

For who was I to return
What you had made
Just for me

I wonder
Is it harder now for you
To learn to swim

Because the shame I shed

Is anchored to you now

Tell me
If you’ve changed
Does the ghost of who you were
Cling to your coattails

I am now
Well beyond sutures
Barely even scarred
Have your wounds healed?

I have my doubts

I hope you
Absolve yourself
If it can help you heal

Forgive
By never becoming that person
Again
Grace Mar 2018
Dived in so fast we burned up upon impact
Just rubble and remnants
Of what could have been

Went too deep
Without knowing how to tread

A temporary residence
That no longer calls my name
To come back home

We knew better
And did it anyway
For the leap seemed smaller
Before we left shore
Sorry
Grace Mar 2015
I built empires
On the future we could have had
Buildings caressing the morning sky gently
Your skin enveloping mine

In the distant future
Beyond the blink of an eye
Past the coast lines
We had it all
Ruling with entwined fingers
In place of a fist

The king to the queen
I felt crowned
When basked in the glow
Of that trusting smile

Fighting for the same cause
But you forged my name
A crimson betrayal
Waved our white flag

Our empire is rubble
A bomb site
Quarantined off
Abandoned
See we could have built empires
*If I'd been worth the fight
So why wasn't I?
Grace Feb 2015
If I tipped my head
A swarm of numbers
Would spill from my ears
Tangling telephone wires
Wrapped round my feet

Dollar signs
Flashing deadlines
Self worth
A number line

Integrity an ember now
Once ablaze
Our values incinerated
Numbers so overshadowing
They have blocked the sunrays
Because we are so much more than numbers
Grace Jan 2015
Planted slices of my heart
Left
To rot

Roots erupted
Flowers exploding
Whose faces tilt to the sun
Hide in the dark

Planted slices of my heart
In your and my yard
Because I've always been told
"Home is where the heart is"
Grace Feb 2015
In flickering eyes
Is the glow of a smoldering fire
They are sizing us up

My body transforms, a whirlwind
A temple for worship
To a stage for performance

All eyes are on me
Shadows flickering on the walls
Whispers scattering
Hurried footsteps down the hall

Their lips glisten in the dark
A shred of light
Despite the darkness  trapped inside

Grumbling stomachs
Resonating like heart beats
Growling for me

They are starved
For my skin
Ravenous

For to them
I am nothing more
Than meat
Because I am not solely for your entertainment.
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