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Nor a single word
Could change what's said
That vicious sound
Silent scream in my head
I can see it scream
As I look in your eyes
I know that feeling
So deep inside
I hear that scream
Though deafness isnt a dream
I see it bleed from my veins
Silent screaming screams
though hard to articulate
Or show exactly how great
The need for relief
Or just a break
That silent screaming
It is so loud
I can hear it screaming
In this crowd
I can see it flowing
In this room
The closet, the basement
That moment I knew
Her silent screams
They were no more
Someone ******
Closed her door
Now their screaming
It is no more
Just pained staking faces
Pressed screaming "We Implore"
For now the silent screaming
Cannot be heard or seen
Its much more powerful
Then everything.
Could I make a recomendation
Said the woman to me
I recommend you let go, move on
Life goes on living, sorry
i continied to look at the floor
Then went about my day
This is what I thought
Of those words she had to say
I recomend
That I can change the past
I made a different decision
There never was a crash
I recomend
he never left that day
Told me he had a problem
He needed help do whatever it takes
I recomend
she never went down there
She came right home from school
We're doing each others hair
And I recomend
To never let them go
Keep them near your sight
Memorize everyday
She gave her recomemdation
She just didnt know
Each moment makes you remember
Their never ever coming home.
A little less oxygen
flowing under my skin
I've noticed going on since
God where do I begin
A little less oxygen
and I'm not the only one
They all walk alone with me
Without daughters and sons
A little less oxygen
Gets to my brain
cause now when I wake
Not one thing is the same
I have a little less oxygen
flowing through my veins
And I'm supposed to be forgiving
Sorry just after I'm done with insane
Do you know how it feels
To feel a little less oxygen
To forget whats real?
And think that your done
I feel a little less oxygen
Under my skin
I know a little less oxygen
Without them.

"AGoddessOriginal"
2/18/05
Do you think you
Could hold my hand for
A littke while?
while i cry.
so i can breathe through
This moment
That I've realized
It just swept over me
All at once i see
How much i missed with you
Do you think you
Could hold my hand
While this night envelopes me
Surrounds me with truth
Theyve gone away
Would it be too
Much to need you
during these aweful darkened days
Cuz it is true
Its way too much
For me to do alone
So do you think you
Could take the time too
Hold my hand
While i face these darkened days
If you think you could
Hold my hand through
Till all these tears have fallen away
I would so do
The very same for you
Tho i pray
you'll never feel this way

"AGoddessOriginal"
2010
Its not hard to live without you, its what I've always done.
Its not difficult to not think of you, there's not many memories to think of.
its a breeze, to say the least.
Because its something I've always done.
I was born without you, fake smiles held me or hung?  ...
I grew up without you, whether you lingered or not that's the way it was done.
I endured hostile intent, that should of never been provided the oppertunity.
Had you been there, like all religious intents scream for you to be.
Would it had been the way it was in the hands you let hold me.
I'm sure, since you wrre never there, it would have transpired to a more malicious state.
One leaves due to fear of what they'll do or what they don't want to see themselves doing.
Regardless of your absence, I care not for your excuses.
You, not painlessly, taught me how alone, lonely, and incidious someone can truly be.
Not only did you leave me, you thought it waa wise to pay, so I would stay away.
No attempts to want me, or see what I've become.
No motives to care haunt you, or would ever dare.
And it was my existence alone that twisted you.
Made you unloving due to your need to move on as thoigh I ne'r existed.
I survived, though your vast attempts at leasure.
I breathe even still, though not to your desire.
I've always lived without you, and always wondered why that must've been.
Now I only wish to never see you the way you worked so hard to have it spent.
Now I agree with your every motion to never be one moment.
I'm estatic there's no memories to haunt my every breathe.
There's not a single way I sway that would remind me of a time when...
I only wish I never saw you, so in the mirror time I spend.
I wouldn't see your eyes, lips, and nose or color of your skin.
I wouldn't know I have your hair or that my ears sit where yours did.
Id be able to see something beautiful instead of the state you left me in.

"AGoddessOriginal"
7/30/12
I wait stupidly
like an anxious child.
For nothing.
I wait as usual
For a person
Who deliberatly
Keeps me at a distance
Who only looks
For what I haven't done
Who scolds instead of loves
I wait
For nothing but a punishment
Ive allowed
To sprawl over me
And slobber themselves
on my pain
I wait
for one who doesn't
Love me or care to love me
How insane
To wish I had something more
To stupidly believe
I even deserve
Such graces.
I'll mever be
Nothing more then
the worthless unit
I am right now.
I'm a monster,
Meant only for use
My while life
Has perpetuated this to me
And every person
I've ever connected to
Has only taken from my soul
Only leaving pain
Its always the same.

"AGoddessOriginal"
8/3/12
Im sorry, I wish I could tell you that it will be okay. Or that the sun will be brighter soon and this.  . . . . . Haze. Will lift. I wish I could tell you smiles will be bigger, and hugs would be tighter. They will not and I can't lie. However, we will find a new part of ourselves we never wished we knew. A life without you. Air you don't breathe, sun you don't see and no you for to touch. The sun will not get brighter but we will learn to keep closer to the ones who love us. And we will learn its okay to smile again. And we will become more recieving, even though it still stings a bit with each hug. I'm sorry, I can't say it'll be okay. I can say, we will come through.
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