I promised myself
That I would never feel this way
That those emotions dear to me
I would never let decay
That all I held close
I would never lead astray
That those who I cared for
Would never lose their place
in my heart
In my life

I can’t remember

I don’t know what I did
I don’t know what they did
When did this become normal, again?

What did I feel like?

My heart beats for no purpose
Only for brighter days
That once were
That I can never return to
No future

Smiles for a while
Tears for a year

But no smiles spread across my face
No tears roll down my cheeks
Only a furrowed brow
And something missing
I don’t remember what

I knew I was happy once
How did I let it get like this?

I knew I was sad once
But my feelings never overflow
They barely even show

All these promises I’ve made to myself
All those years ago
Are broken
I can barely even remember them anymore
Why can’t I remember

I’m sorry
I’ve let you down
My better past
My shattered dreams
Their youthful eyes shone
Now blaring through me
I’ve failed you

Yet I feel nothing
Only a yearning

Will those feelings
Those memories
Come back?
I miss them