Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Gigi Tiji Nov 2015
pressure building inside of me
rather maybe it is that
I am growing large for this shell

is this pressure inside of me?
when I look down I see a body
I'm on the outside
if it's inside of me
me is on the outside
if it's outside of me
me is on the inside
what is this line
what is this border of flesh

my eyeballs are not
the windows to my soul
******* heart and you will
smell pungent truth

split my skull open and we are splitting hairs.
yes, that's how we get closer.

let my brain unravel like a fern's fingers on the forest floor.
Gigi Tiji Nov 2015
quite a conundrum
this hum drum dumb song I've sung
with a numb tongue I'm quite stung
by my own bone I'm quite alone
wishing that I could've shown
wishing that I could've sung
all the right tones
walking on my tip toes
untying all these ripped bows
I'm trembling as I'm in the throes
of reevaluating all that I know
from here from here where do I go
on from here how do I go on
Gigi Tiji Nov 2015
Queer, genderqueer, non-binary, non-hetero, pan, omni, gay, pagan, quaker.
whatever.

Labels may make people more easily digestable, but I don't want to be devoured by your limited paradigm.

I don't want your gut to strip me of my intricacies and **** them out only to be flushed away.

If you are trying to engulf me and break me down you will surely *****.

I will make sure of it.

My name is Gian, and
My name is Gigi,
and I hope that even that
is hard for you to keep down.
Gigi Tiji Nov 2015
my hands don't even look familiar to me anymore
nothing does
Gigi Tiji Nov 2015
For how many days and how many nights are in the moment of a kiss?
There is a light bulb on the horizon screaming ****** ******.
An obsidian hammer exploding into licks of carnelian flame.
A war drum, it's hide cured from the skin of the desperate.
A humanoid figure crawling out of its ****-stained cage
smelling the slime of a new day.

Little boxes smashed to bits by the stamping foot of a child.
There is a wind blowing from the mouth of the bull.
A ring of fire burns red and green from the void of the lover's soul.

Below the surface of a sea of sand I am breathing in only stardust.
My legs are tingling as they strive to wake up for this journey.

You are narcotic in your presence.
I am elated and depressed simultaneously by your existence.
A wonderful rush followed by a drunken stupor.
An ******* and a small death herein.

Here I am looking away from you because I am afraid of who I am.
I will only skim your surface because what is beneath mine is unspeakable.

I keep my eye heavy lidded,
because if they were wide open,
I would explode into treacherous rapture.
I would know bliss, and that is not meant for me.

This pain, I am only holding dear,
because it has been wrongfully taken from me before.
Please, allow me this despair. Let me feel this anguish.
Though it does not allow you comfort to witness,
it leaves no reason for your false consolation.

Look not, if it discomforts you so — to see me writhing.
Ask not of me to untangle myself from this twisted feeling.

This vine is welcome wisteria nestled in the shadows of my arms.
I ask of you to focus not on my withering leaves,
but of the blossoms it bears.

I will hoist its parasitic lavender radiance to the heavens,
an offering to the eyes of the suffering.

Do not dam these rivers lest you wish a flood upon your mind.
The ocean does not deny any a waterway, and why should you?
Are you so different from the vast gut of the world?
Let us be left landlocked and breathing hot sand.

Let me be. Let me run!

Where is the right place?
When is the right time?
To surface from the ocean of sinking sand.

The forever crumbling plateaus of this high
have me leaping from stone to stone.

Watch where yours is thrown;
where it lands you may find interesting.

This is incoherence.
I am confusion.

Where be my emotional faculty!
Where be my functionality!

Ever wandering.
Caught up. Waiting.
For the next ending.
Too busy to think of the new beginnings.

Quick! Keep going...
You may miss what's going to happen next!
But wait, wait for it...
"Right after these messages."

WHAT OF HERE
WHAT OF NOW
HAVE WE FORGOTTEN EACH OTHER
HAVE WE FORGOTTEN OURSELVES

Have we already closed
the never ending story and
put it back on the shelf?
Gigi Tiji Nov 2015
Closed doors

slaves too weak to fight
dying in their chains
electric cuffs around their wrists
objects of profit and entertainment
their image of suffering used
as inventory for auction
in between the air waves
and the pixels of your screen

they are there
and we are here

an image fed through a tube
into the belly of complacency
to be half digested and regurgitated
in the form of chit chat

suffering is now material
profitable stock bid on by
bourgeois couch surfers
entertain me they say

the unaware say
at least it's not me
until it is and then
there is no one but us
no one but our neighbors
our friends and our families

we cannot wait for a friend
that promises protection
and profits from our misfortune
there is no friend in government

open doors
Gigi Tiji Nov 2015
I love that I am
I am that I love
I am nothing, everything, silent, and singing
I am complacent and I am resisting
I am not equal
I am less than, greater than, and equal to
I am that I will and I will that I am
I am here and I am there
I am skin and I am hair
I am truth and I am dare
I am that I keep and I am that I share
I'm unjust and I am fair
I am apathy and I am care
I am clothed and I am bare
I am broken and I am whole
I am two and I am one
I am the moon and I am the sun
I am the sky and the stars that glow
I am ignorant
I am what I know
I am all my secrets
I am what I show
I am the dead of deep space
and the billion winds that blow

I am I am I am
Next page