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kaelin May 2016
fireworks on the freeway
fireflies in your eyes
****** noses and bruised knees.
crying in the rain,
******* in the backseat,
picking at scabs,
binging and purging and
writing poems on napkins
and on clammy palms.
this is human nature as we know it;
stringy hair and sweaty faces,
dancing and moving in crowds.
street lamps, freeway noise,
stop lights through blurry, tear-filled eyes.
traffic on the streets and in our
hearts and in our heads and in our
beds, messy sheets and limbs tied
together like nooses.
ghosts hanging from ropes,
empty bottles,
****** knuckles,
sleeping in bath tubs.
kissing boys, kissing girls,
and drinking and smoking
and other things
our parents told us not to do.
concrete jungles in the palms
of our hands;
life lines and love lines
that mimic maps and paved roads.
popping pills on public transport,
leather and lace and broken glass,
cigarette smoke spelling words
of rebellion and
tell tales of broken homes.
pretension and potential
and the production of
history.
memories write themselves
when you're young,
and whether we remember them
through narcotics and alcohol
or not, they all mold us into
the complex beings
that each of us are.
youth is now, and
if you close your eyes
for too long,
it'll pass you by.
kaelin May 2016
it is a shame that someone as beautiful as you loses nearly a million skin cells a day. i bet that when they fall, the dance like pale snow cascading down from the most heavenly corner of the sky. the corners of your bedroom must be decorated by little pieces of you, unless you are an avid duster. either way, anything that has been graced by even a mere cell that reluctantly detached itself from you is infinitely more beautiful than it was before you left your microscopic mark.
kaelin May 2016
2:04 am


we talk about
living
and waiting
and wishing
and aging.
punks hiding
in the dark
on the cold concrete
near a busy street;
share a stolen cigarette
lit by stolen matches
drunk off stolen liquor.
lovely little ladies
little liars
little loners
little stoners
complaining
and comparing
and contrasting
and contemplating.
reunions
cold feet
smokey words
plastic spoons,
drugs
and hugs
and
"see you soon"s.
repeat it every week
different times,
different places,
sharing jackets
kissing cheeks
of familiar faces.
crosswalks and
cheap food
late at night
we all get bolder,
this is what it feels like
getting older.
kaelin May 2016
I cry a lot. I always have. everyone has always noticed. everyone has always pointed it out. a substitute teacher I had in the second grade called my mother one day to tell her that I needed to grow thicker skin. maybe I just need a thicker skull. a thicker heart. I think I'm too susceptible to the dark realities of humanity. maybe even when I was younger I knew of the hopelessness that is life. maybe that's why the tears poured from my adolescent eyes on their own accord. maybe I am a vessel. A delicate little receptionist of all of the darkness in the hearts of the inhabitants of my biosphere. It seeps from their pores and digs it's way through my skin and into the deepest extremities of my existence. I am small and I am meek but oh, how I can love. How I can wail and how I can cry and how I can hold passion inside of me. I am a fragile vessel, but oh, I am vast.
kaelin May 2016
I wish I could sew the states
closer together
and stitch you in right next to me.
I wish I could kick the tectonic plates
so hard that they overlapped
and destroyed everything
that is separating our heartbeats.
what do I have to do
to wind up next to you?
kaelin May 2016
Maybe we all have poetry inside of us;
the way we start deteriorating
the moment we leave our mothers’ wombs.
Life has revealed itself to me
as a sigh.
It varies from shallow to deep;
long, light, short,
depending on the lungs
that are attached to it.
We breathe in
and out,
then turn back
into the dust we
once came from.
kaelin May 2016
i have ripped out my own veins and transformed them into suspension ropes in order to keep myself above water.

i will pry my ribs open, cracking them off of my spine in order to use them to construct a bridge to bring refuge to those that i love.
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