your bitter taste
clings to my lips
and your wretched smell
lingers in my clothes
even after all this time
I cannot erase all thoughts of you
you are in my veins
i want you out
but i cannot remove you
without causing myself harm
and you have harmed me enough
already.

Looking back
at the footsteps you left
after walking out of my life
i realise it was mostly
my fault you've gone
as too often
I loved,
and did not say so.

Its the dead
they walk and they walk
and they don't stop to talk
the dead won't hold your hand
they eat sorrow and hope
then leave you to choke
on the remnants of a life ******
The cold that they breathe
and the hearts that they bleed
keep their bones warm for a while
but it won't last long
its a short sad song
when the dead walk past and smile
you won't see a sign
it won't be 'your time'
when the dead pull you out to sea
they'll take you to drown
and you'll say with a frown
*why me? why me? why me?

I am a mix
of miss-matched words
and unfinished poems
I do not flow rationally
I am a mess
I shroud myself in books
and hope they will transport me
A creature like me,
not blessed with any grace
yet in love with yours
I see the stars flicker
and the universe turn
hoping you see me
even just fleetingly
my heart is an ugly thing
but it could be all yours.

I am cynical
I am lost
I tie anchors to my feet
and complain when I drown
I am clingy, corrupt
I need so many people
yet I push them away
when they get too close
I am broken
I am scarred
I build my walls
and I tear them down
I'm lonely, tired, sad
I am a mess.
Make sense of me?

I hate how things ended between us
I hate that things ended.
I'm much too selfish
to say that I hope you find someone
who you deserve
I only wish I was,
or could have been
someone worthy
of your love.

Maybe one day
in the far off future
I'll see you in the street
and you'll tell me about
your new life, your new family
and i'll smile and say
'I'm glad it all worked out'
but it will be a facade
to mask the bitter pain
of knowing that despite everything
you moved on,
you loved again
whilst I, well...
I look for you in everyone.

I dream about so many
far off places
exotic landscapes,
wild animals,
so many sights to see
never enough time
I want to leave
as soon as I can
get away from this,
the polluting air
and polluting people
I have dreams
so much bigger
than this town.

I have sinned
I have let people down
I have both hurt,
and been hurt
I regret, so much,
how things ended
between us
and I can only hope
that if we meet again
in the next life
I will love you better
than I did
in this one.

The thought
of her name
on your lips
and your hands
on her hips
sends goosebumps
to beneath my skin
I tremble
from a non-existent cold
my lungs stutter
and will give out
along with my heart
which will shatter
into a million pointed shards
that stab and cut me
when I think back to us
and my name
on your lips
your hands
on my hips
I suppose
I was not
enough.