My life to me seems a movie
In which I play a part
Not an award winner by any means
The film, some may call it art

It does have a bit of adventure
Some comedy with rhyme
Also it's had it's share of drama
That I myself consider a crime

I've also starred in other peoples movies
In some, bit parts are all I've played
More times though I've been a stand in
With nothing much to say

If you've seen the way I act at times
I'm clearly not a leading man
And as far as romantic movies go
That's just not who it is I am

If I take the time to think about
Comedy is what I do best
If you ask my friends and family though
What I consider funny should stay inside my head

Because once it goes into production
And acted out in scene
It's not quite as humorous as first thought
The moment it hits the big screen

So although my life...the movie
Has had its share of flops
I'll continue on with my acting
Until the movie play reel stops

day 1
I feel a weight lifting off of my shoulders
I feel clean
I feel alive
I can finally breathe
without you in my life.
No more suffocation
No more mind games
and required resuscitation

day 3
I'm crawling out of bed
and you're trickling
through my ears
and into my head
once again.
The lack of poison in my veins
is making me itch.
I need to hear your voice,
need to feel your touch.
Too much.
I need you too much

day 5*
I'm breathing but I cannot
feel anything.

cycle on/cycle off*
until I tell you everything
this dependency will have to be enough

                                           *-lf-

It's freezing in your bedroom
And I just wanna dream this bright day
straight into its darker face
I'm all wrapped up in your limbs
But I'm still shaking
You've got your hands on my thighs
I wish I could feel the warm
blood that drips all down the insides of them
But I'm ignoring every
sign that you slip in through my lips
You're pleading for my
attention at the ****** of your affection
You keep digging your
nails into my shoulder blades
I know what you're thinking
Maybe a little pain will bring
my eyes up to meet yours
But I'm still looking down at your hips
And I could feel you starting to melt
Into the empty stream of my apathy
You're whispering every poetic word
you ever thought you heard straight
into my ear drums
I'm still not listening
An other night home alone
Lying next to each other
But hardly together
I shut the lights out an hour ago
But your skins still crawling
You're nestling me in the bend of your elbows
But I'm just trying to sleep
I wanna pray to your eyelashes every night
Like you do to mine
But I just don't believe in you
I don't believe in anything
And I'll still kneel for you
But that doesn't mean anything
It's all still so much nothing