the snow falls
my eyes close
the snow falls
at the speed
of how my
state of mind
constantly
changes and
I can't keep up
for much longer
like us
and the snow
always
against eachother

The rush of her skin and the rhythm of her breathing endlessly played in my head, relentlessly reminding me of the nervousness but perfection of that first night. The thought of her smile and the sympathetic tone of her voice sweetly synchronized with each rise and fall of my chest above the exhausted breaths I had taken.
The smell of her skin on that first night and the beautiful memory of her warm touch against the complexity of my aliveness left me cold and broken inside. Tears fall, but yet it still lingers on.
I could never forget how the sweet touch of her kiss awakened my lungs to a breath of life again, and I never wish to forget the sound of her warm, soft voice with tears in her eyes telling my deadened heart to beat again..And I laugh at myself as the tears roll down, listening to the shattering sound of the breaking in my heart. Knowing that I'd lost the chance to ever have a heart like hers, to have such a headstrong soldier fight for a soul so broken like mine again had me weak in the heart and my veins grew colder with each simple thought of it. I couldn't muster up the strength to find a simple smile to cover up the mess that had been made here, for I had loved a love I couldn't let to of. Each night I fall sleep with her beautiful, taunting memory on my ever so restless mind and all that lies within it. I awaken in an empty, cold bed as the blackened tears stain my face. My body remained still as my weakened arm outstretched to the edge of the bed searching for the warmth of her skin and the smell of her cologne on the pillows and sheets..I awaken only to find myself alone beneath the blankets in which we once exchanged body heat and the smiles that had finally become real, wishing her absence had been just a terrible dream.

My heart violently turns at the thought of always missing her, and yet I still need her..it's as simple yet complicated as that.
I'm sweetly broken, oh but babe...she was worth it. There isn't a time that I recall where she hadn't been worth it.

it will be a very long time
before i stop thinking of your lips
every time
i hear the word
*"kiss"

I wish I could turn her voice into a song
And play it for everyone to hear
And it would sell out concerts
But no one would sing along with it
They would just listen
Because her voice is so beautiful
I wish I could turn her voice into a song
But I can’t get the notes right
And the lyrics don’t fit

I wish I could capture her beauty in a painting
And display it in a gallery
And everyone would come
To gaze at the canvas
Just to see how perfect I think she is
Because I think she’s so close to it
I wish I could capture her beauty in a painting
But I can’t get the strokes right
And the colors don’t fit

I wish I could turn her into a movie
And it would play in every theater there is
And everyone would buy a ticket
To stare at a moving screen
Just so they could see two hours of her life
Because two hours seems like enough
I wish I could turn her into a movie
But I can’t get the lines right
And the actors don’t fit

I wish I could turn her into a book
And give them away as presents
And everyone would tell their friends about it
So they would go buy one
Just so they could read what’s been written
Because she is worth every page
I wish I could turn her into a book
But I can’t get the title right
And the words don’t fit

I wish I could show her to our child
And raise our daughter in her image
And everyone could see her again
And they would be happy
And they’d know she’d be happy
Because her daughter would be perfect
Just like she was
I wish I could show her to our child
But the pictures all burned
And I might never see her again

It seems as though
I always want to talk to you
But our conversation comes at a cost
Because every word spoken
Puts me one word closer
To the last words I'll ever say to you.

With hope I could forever speak
With reason and love aimed at your heart
Taking your ears and making them listen
To what I need you to hear
Before you cannot hear anymore.

Carefully I select the sounds I speak
As not to choose the wrong ones
Picking silently in my head
The memories I would like to leave behind
In every moment I spend with you.

I know the last words I will say to you.
They are in my head now
Dancing on my lips
Teasing your ears
But I will not say them.
Not now.
Instead,
I will say them when it is time
For them to be true.

I do hope, however, that when that time comes
You will have already said them
To me.