ji: Poems

Apr 2014 · 12.4k

Coffee

ji Apr 2014

Coffee

Let me stifled by your scent
And drown in your sweet bitterness;
I'll let my heavy lids lay flat
As you take away my spirit
To where you call tranquil and calm.

As my tired shoulders fall gently,
I am filled with your warm caress
Along with nostalgic portraits
Frame by frame running in my head -
Ever vivid and enthralling.

The consoling embrace you give
Alleviates grief and its pang
Even just for a little while.

As I savor your poignant sting,
I can hear my heart as it sings,
"Sorry, but I just can't grow wings."

#coffee #warmth

Mar 2014 · 509

Tic-toc

ji Mar 2014

Tic-toc

One, two, three I count on my hands
Four, five, six billion grains of sand
Seven, eight, nine hours passed away
Ten, eleven, twelve years of disarray.

I was waiting at McDonald's for my classmate to arrive for two long hours. And so I decided to compose a poem about time and waiting.

Feb 2014 · 1.1k

32 Points Perfection

ji Feb 2014

32 Points Perfection

Perfect* is cold showers in the morning

Perfect is long walks 'til your feet are too weary to take another step

Perfect is working out 'til you faint

Perfect is my hands around my thighs

Perfect is my elbows bigger than my arms

Perfect is my ribs like guitar strings

Perfect is my thumb and my pinky meeting at my shoulders

Perfect is my hips like anchors below my waist

Perfect is my spine like thorns on my palms

Perfect is my collarbones like hinges on my throat

Perfect is the immense gap between my thighs

Perfect is a diet soda and a ******* for a whole day

Perfect is 16 bites a bitsy cupcake

Perfect is guilt in every swallow and throwing up afterwards

Perfect is slits on my wrist after eating

Perfect is my clothes that fit like blankets

Perfect is the scale on 35lbs

Perfect is to be lighter than air

Perfect is size after zero

Perfect is lying to yourself

Perfect is denying you're starving to death

Perfect is 21 calories for a whole week

Perfect is not eating

Perfect is must not eat

Perfect is laxatives and diuretics

Perfect is empty

Perfect is skinny

Perfect is reality in a trance

Perfect is just-breathing

To embrace perfection is to live inside a dead body with an empty soul;
To tacitly prepare for your grave while struggling everyday to survive

Perfection is your frame in a frame

*Perfection is death

Feb 2014 · 1.4k

The Taste of Death

ji Feb 2014

The Taste of Death

I'll stain my wrist cherry red,
I'll hang myself with angel hair [1]
I'll jump off a choco cliff
And smell bacon in the air.

Drown myself in sea of grease;
In lard or melted butter
Get lost in a Balck Forest,
Eat fondant rocks for dinner.

Stick Butterfinger down my throat
Until I can no longer breathe
Peel off my caramel skin
And run through a pile of wheat.

I'll fly my way to Sweetzerland
And then I will jump off the plane;
Railroad trip with Willie Wonka
Then get myself crushed by a train.

I'll put the gun on my temples,
Pull the trigger, out the whip cream
Roll on hot coal with Tootsie [2]
Up in the skies you'll see our steam.

I'll grate my fingers just like cheese
And dice my arms like tomatoes;
Chop the onions, hold your tears
Mash my head like potatoes.

I'd stuff myself just like turkey
A big, fat one on Thanksgiving
I'd eat to death ruthlessly
So full that I'll be choking.

Fillet myself, eat my own meat
Or not, 'cause that would be so gross
I'll poison myself instead
A drop on my wine - let's toast!

I'd overdoze on sedatives
Each pill the size of Jellybeans
Or cross the road with closed eyes
Or live in a garbage bin.

Get under attacked by hornets
As I steal their precious honey
Huge marshmallows in my mouth
Die playing Chubby Bunny.

Ride a ship on a raging sea
Of milk or strawberry smoothie
And I'll let my boat be wrecked
Then feed a whale with cookie.

Get free popcorn with your ticket
As you watch me die, sit back
Don't stand 'til it is over,
Enjoy the show and relax.

This is what you always wanted -
See me lying on my coffin
I'll make you watch in total dread
As I **** myself with muffins.

And when I die, donut tell her -
My sweetest darling - Baby Ruth
She might slap you out of shock,
You might lose not just one tooth.

From the grave, I'll send you Kisses
My dear old Cad, bury me [3]
Give this body a Reese's [4]
From food that is it's enemy.

I have here a cake for you
Open your mouth, gently chew,
Close your eyes and hold your breath,
Savor now the taste of death.

[1]Angel hair is a kind of pasta.
[2]Tootsie Roll
[3]Cadbury
[4]recess
__________

I've been killing myself lately.
I've been eating again.

***** anorexia. ***** EDNOS. ***** eating.

***** guilt.

Jan 2014 · 515

Repose

ji Jan 2014

Repose

Sometimes I wish when I close my eyes
And bid good night to the dark, vast skies:
My breath, dear moon, is yours to take
To sleep in peace and ne'er awake.

Jan 2014 · 511

Too Late

ji Jan 2014

Too Late

Roses are red, violets are blue

*Roses were red, violets were blue

Very succinct it may seem, but this tells a lot. The "roses are red, violets are blue" line is too hackneyed and obsolete, that's a fact. You won't write a poem using that as the first line, will you? 'Cause people might just not read your poem at all.

But in this case, I took the risk. Because poems are meant to be contemplated upon than just be read. It is up to you on how you view this one.

Jan 2014 · 1.2k

Dear future Forever,

ji Jan 2014

Dear future Forever,

.              You do not know my name, or maybe you do. Either way, I do not know yours, too. I may have met you already. Maybe our shadows have already crossed. Maybe I know you so well, yet I have not a hint that it is you. You may be the person that sat beside me on the long, long 'couch' of a jeepney or that girl that dropped her hanky inside the bus on its aisle. You may be my classmate; my neighbor, perhaps. My friend. My friend's friend. Or the cousin of my friend's friend that once set my heart a galloping horse but I then realized - laughed at myself, even - that I was such a foolish dolt to feel that way and utterly air-headed to believe  it, so I 'ended everything between us'.

               I may have seen you already, taken a good look at your face - your eyes having no sparkles and the fireflies in my stomach asleep being the only difference. You may have liked me or even 'fell' for my stupid smile and I had no idea at all.  So I apologize if my apathy made your heart numb or my blindness shattered you.

               Away from these hundreds or maybe even thousands of possibilities and ineluctabilities;  the chances of me already meeting you and not knowing that it was you; all I ask is your love abided by the love from the skies. Love, not affection nor attraction, nor any of the temporal abstracts. A four-letter piece-of-cake-to-spell word, yet too involuted to be brought to living definition. Love, my dear, and fidelity is what I ask.

               I long to see you, know you. To be stifled by the fragrance of your hair, know the color of your eyes; to be deafened by your voice in its saccharinity, watch how those delicate eyelashes of yours lay gently on your cheeks as you close your eyes upon sleeping.

               Life is a book wherein the plot depends on how the protagonist writes it. Tell me how many more pages would it take for me to get to our chapter 'cause darling, I swear I would skip even a hundred or two. If only I can, and if only you can. But apparently, I'm stuck in this chapter called 'present'.

**Sincerely,
Your present Future

A letter to my Juliet (who has not yet found that it is I that is her Romeo)

Jan 2014 · 444

Epilogue

ji Jan 2014

Epilogue

I closed the door, sat on my bed
With closed fists I thump my head
Black-and-blue, my eyes are red
Count one or two, and I'll be dead.

I can't sense no love - only angst
The voices cause none but pang
I taste pain, savor its tang
A finger on the trigger - bang!

Jan 2014 · 487

G A B

ji Jan 2014

G A B

Sad, quiet, lad
Smile, a nice facade,
Least, what did you know?
The scars he never showed.

I asked my classmate to write a short poem about me. She ended up with this. I really love it. Present tense.

Originally by: A.D.C.

Jan 2014 · 742

All Ears

ji Jan 2014

All Ears

Trapped in this confined space
The walls I can barely break
I scream in utter silence
No voice from me is heard.

This barrel takes me to where it pleases
My heart full of painful creases
I ask for a minute of recess
To find and rebuild my pieces.

Trapped in this confined space
The walls I can barely break
Screaming in infinite silence
Quiet for my own sake.

Date composed: October 12, 2013

Jan 2014 · 6.8k

Dreamcatcher

ji Jan 2014

Dreamcatcher

Hail, dreamcatcher, hear now my thoughts
Free my soul of fond hopes of naught;
Of brokenness these dreams had taught;
Of ceaseless pain this life has brought.

This heart is weary of shouting;
Of being empty yet drowning
In insipid words befuddling;
In ashed promises succumbing.

**** this anguish feasting inside
That this shiv may be put aside;
These damp sheets be given a rest,
And that may bliss in this room nest.

Hail, dreamcatcher, hear now my sigh,
The words I'll mutter as lie
Below the grass, hear my cry;
My soliloquies ere I die.

The dreams that I wove with your strings
Are dreams that 'til I slumber clings;
Dreams that on stars I'll be wishing
That I with the stars be dreaming.

Farewell to you, dear moon, I say
Awake I can no longer stay
In peace on this bed I shall lay,
Never again shall I rise, I pray.

So dreamcatcher croon me to sleep
And let me drown in thoughts so deep
Don't wake me up, I had enough
Last wish: I be gone in a puff.

— The End —