Why do they call it being 'absentminded'
When you're present, more than ever, in your head?
Maybe live somewhere else instead.
My share of conversation's dead.
In one ear and out the other.
Swim in space and float in water.

i
have felt more honest touches
from straight boys
honestly telling me
i am honestly worth nothing
they treat me like a ***** magazine
they get so much pleasure
from tearing open my spine
i am a centre-fold
of ****** lips & bruised eyes
there's only so much
my staples can take
how can i feel safe,
when bricks don't build homes
but instead fly towards me
with labels like "******"
from the mouths of boys
who don't have the *****
to put on a ball gown
and throw their stilettos
at homophobic policemen
on hot summer nights
you wanna talk about fights?
i know what it's like
to french kiss
your "oh-so-british" fist
so don't talk to me
about equality
until i don't have to walk the streets at night
with my keys between my fingers
expecting the worst,
always.

My dad talks in his sleep.
He says the wackiest things.
My mom and my brother's fiancé  are on the back porch drinking.
He's asleep.
So is my niece.
She's on the couch next to me while I'm watching Louie.
This all after coming home from a party where the singer of my band tried to ****** me.
Before I drove home I did some drunken text messaging.
Sometimes, I swear,
I don't know what to think.
It's all so absurd,
yet charming in a way.
I fear I'm bound to go crazy.
I've got to get away.

Are you ever at peace that hates another
deep beneath that skin lies total disorder
and that never-ending-struggle for relevance
and a soul weighed down by  ignorance
your hatred for your mother
or a brother from another father
or a friend of another race
is as disgusting as you are totally overwhelmed by hate
But can you loathe and love at once?
For light has nothing with darkness and chains
like a creek immensely churned
so is the heart that hates
Hates begets war
and war has no better ending
but wars and high walls
and demons that keeps sending
hates to every corner of this world
to brothers at war
and misguided souls
and streets covered by blood stained stones
and stadiums where they chant "monkeys!!" and
fraternities that are like sands
of bruised beaches and looming
darkness and what have you
Am overwhelmed too
by the things you do
to me when am not mindful
or saying hard words hurtful
to you like you have done
in this fiery rain and beneath this ancient sun
Leave hate for the devil
he has the sceptre of all evil
but say no to racism
for every omen has a reason
but she has none
but malice and thorns

you said 'don't lie to me
i can see your eyes'

so we sat on the jeep stop and
talked about feelings i'm
not sure i had.

you wanted i cry on your shoulder
cause you knew my loss

i was unfeeling
'can't do that on demand'

but suddenly it was 9PM and i was an ugly mess
sitting on the ground smoking menthols
wondering what the **** just happened

i was always the shoulder to cry on
so yours was a foreign place

but thank you for taking me places

if I could, I would draw the back of every
time she turned away from me - her hair and how it met the base of the skull and repelled
downward or climbed back up, she'd cut it short and then
watch it grow,            

if I could, I would re-trace her ears and marvel at how the skin joined in perfect harmony behind them. if I could, I would have had her a million times more in between my fingers, running them through her - everyevery I have
and had and
will have.