why must you ache inside?
praying for someone to come along
to stay up with you until three in the morning
and listen attentively as you list your worries and passions
and burdens, to be envious of your attention
and hold you close without judgment
to be there with you when you're feeling most alone
to assure you everything will soon be okay once you forgive
and remind you that every sunrise and crashing wave is a chance to make things right.

you must realize that no one will be waiting there with open arms
ready to replenish every empty space in your heart.

no one will see you perfect, especially with those crooked teeth that you hate so much.

It corners you at night
and every time you're alone
It slowly gnaws away any fragment of happiness
you allow yourself to obtain.
it eats every  last shred, until there's nothing left
except pain and eventually death.

Hearts beat for so long
Only when they forget how to
Love has gone missing

Whether you find your own personal escape in
The alcohol you poison your body with,
The pills you lose your mind in,
The blade you lack control of,
The hope you’ll someday lose,
The person who will leave you soon,
We all have something that brings us a blind joy,
Something that allows us to find inner peace.
Allows us to escape the imprisoning thoughts that tears us down.
It all creates this world away from ourselves,
Helps make living with the thought of whatever is bothering us somewhat manageable.
But at the same time it destroys us in different ways.
We depend on it,
We suffer more without it,
We fall deeper and deeper into these salivations
We lose ourselves and who we are completely.
And yet we think its better to be fooled with these mind controlling substances of happiness
Than to just suffer day by day with reality

im sorry i cannot paint you extravagant pictures
because the beautiful things in my head
cannot be translated.

im sorry i cannot write you wonderful love letters
because  my mind races too fast when i think of you
i couldnt jot the thoughts down fast enough.

i cant do anything that would be worth your humor
but i can promise to stand by you for however long you need me to
i will be whatever you want need, girlfriend, friend, or gone with the wind
as long as you keep that beautiful smile on your face that warms me within.

These pills aren't going to fix me
They only bring a temporary bliss
Fake happiness I've been medicated to feel
Why would I want to be dependent on a drug to be happy?
I miss one day and suddenly the thoughts of suicide reoccur more vividly
I choose to just deal with the mess I've made of myself
Instead of being convinced this magic pill will take the thoughts away