Money was nothing to me until I fell in love
I whispered to heaven seeking the most high above
To send me the portion of my life's blessing
Now is the time I need it to express my love feelings
I can't wait to possess my wealth and treasure
To ease my way to the lifestyle of pleasure
Because love will not stay with a man empty handed
And unfortunate for me the heavens are undecided
Resolving to other means that is bad
I transformed my being to a desperate lad
My deeds paid off as I live in my prime
Only for love's seek I committed my first crime
I went unpunished and enjoyed every moment
Lavish at any joint all I got from my endowment
Just to impress and win her total submission
For more she requested I gave without option
I got an odd job to keep our lovely affair
Right under my nose she was having an affair
Poor in her abode, love hosted me like a tout
Trapped under an oath there was no way out
I played along like everything is normal
Advisers encourage me to make love and I formal
Since I can afford to provide bread without butter
I fixed a wedding date to take her to the alter
I got married to love with a borrowed suit and tie
In my marriage vows, they told me Romeo must die
Shock with this verdict I inquired what will be of juliet
Before I could get an answer I was hit with a bullet
My heart bleed, I prayed for God's surviving grace
But millions are willing ready to take my place
So I gave up the ghost not to be a love slave
As my heart was led to rest in a players grave.

You're a ticking time bomb,
Don't you know?

tick

You have hurt
Too many people
Haven't you realised?

tick

Your words
Sting like bullets
And you keep them coming.

tick

You have caused
Great fear and annoyance
To us, your friends.

tick

You say you know
Your mistakes,
Oh you really do?

tick

You make me doubt you
Because you break trust
Over and over again.

tick

You think we avoid you
But there's a reason why.
You don't find out
And you don't ask why.

tick

You're maybe too smart
And that makes you proud
An air of arrogance lurks all around.

tick

"Oh don't tell me what to do,"
You say to us quite hurtingly.
Can I say this is too much pride?

tick

We're not against you
We're always for you
But we tell you to change,
And you know why?

tick

That's because we care
For you
But you don't see that.

tick

We want to help
You
Become a better person.

tick

You can tell us to go away
And let yourself rot
And go your own way.

tick

We give in too many times
Holding on to
Glimmers of hope.

tick

Hope
That you would change
But you didn't.

tick

Am I foolish
To still have that last hope
That you will change?

tick
tick
tick

EXPLODES

You leave us in the ruins
In the aftermath
Of your explosion.

You're a ticking time bomb,
Don't you know?

You gave me your heart and I threw it away,
You said you’d do anything to make me stay.
Your feelings for me remained true,
While I loved another and didn’t care for you.

Your sweet kisses on my cheek,
Your soft lips now I seek.
The lips I took for granted,
Because by another I was enchanted.

But who knew that I would fall?
For the sweet memories I now recall.
And now you’re gone, I’m lost,
To bring you back I’d pay the cost.

Your love like flames, now extinguished,
Your unwavering love now finished.
You gave me your heart and I threw it away,
I give you mine now to make you stay.

There is nothing convenient about answering a call to be flooded with a sea of tears & thoughts at four in the morning when you need to be up at seven or a collection of band tees cluttering your closet space.

There is nothing convenient about driving 100 miles an hour down the freeway in the middle of a shift or missing a lighter every time you go to smoke.

There is nothing convenient about standing in the rain until a fight is resolved or finding melted guitar picks all over your laundry.

A love that exists according to convenience
is not a love at all

You'll know the first time you decide to kiss his scars instead of your own because all of a sudden the pain radiating from his eyes hurts worse than the pain growing from your core.

You'll know the first time you find yourself spending countless hours caring for his friends because all of a sudden everyone who matters to him matters to you.

*You'll know the first time you decide that the sound of his voice & the scent of his skin are worth being inconvenienced for the rest of your life because the lack of either feel like the end of the world.

Dear Arjana,
Isis told me that you left your paradise for love in disguise 
Camouflage love 
Erroneous love 
Inaccurate love 
Artificial love 
Mimic love 
Man-made love 
...
Substitute love
...
I can't trust the "fact" that you wanna desert me only to hydrate a man who's life is so sparse with affection 
Can't you tell by how devoid his life is of women? 
He can't storm into your life and bring forth lush 
He can't be your sunshine and make you feel tropic 
He can't have you sprung and spring you out of your glacial phase 
...Smh 
Bottom line Arjana babe 
Is that he cannot draw the line between your north and south poles where it's typically warm when I'm around and rock your equator wild as a 200 miles per hour cyclone Lol!!!
...
He just can't 
And I could 
So why do you even give G-Gwa-Gwala a chance? 
However you say his name! 
You need to come back home to your paradise 
Before you end up a dystopian 
Please reply =-|
Sincerely Masika "Zola" Oluchi

when i'm gone i have five shadows
and they knit quilts with barbed wire and dead leaves.
they chew on the fat lie
and simply forget the gravity of exile.

but i'm here now, and i love this.