worn, well loved pages of books yearn for her touch
and the words themselves long for her tender gaze .
tea cups count the seconds until her lips are pressed to them
while firelight flares to lasciviously lick her skin at her passing.
clothes cling and caress like a lover when music moves her
light bends as the whole universe cleaves to her, and so do i.
it wasn’t supposed to be like this, love.
captivated from the moment i first saw you
i wanted only to show you things you’ve never seen before
to be a conduit of light and music
illuminating the shadows that cloaked life’s uncertainty
filling the quiet spaces between one moment and the next
with songs that only you could inspire.
but i became devoted to the moment and not the journey
and my greedy heart allowed lapses and transgressions
because it meant that i still bore a special place in your life.
heedless of consequence i held on too tightly
and now all i own are a thousand hollow apologies
for i have squandered the gift of you in my life
and have destroyed what once was
the most beautiful thing in my universe
allow me to capture the way your eyes sparkle in song
to gather into melody, the way you move when you dance
because i would have the world know in symphonic certainty
that my life was once filled with the music of you in my arms
because as much as this emptiness wounds me,
i see the scars this silence has wrought upon your heart
and i am ashamed of my complicity in their creation
i have not earned absolution for my selfishness
quiet nights like this you should be here with me.
filling the air with your brand of hysteria.
my hands restless in the knowledge that we’re finally together again
eyes thirsty to take in every breathtaking inch of your countenance.
you should be making my breath catch
with every heart wrenching second
lost in the eye contact that we can barely stand
burning me with every smoldering smirk you send my way
instead we’ll sit in our respective residences.
bodies instinctively facing each other across all these miles.
and when we meet again,
after our requisite hellos and how-are-yous
our polite smiles and pleasantries will belie
the shared memory of the way you felt in my arms,
laughter shaking your body in silent mirth
as you listened to my nervous heartbeat that night.
i feel the cliff crumble slightly under my shoes
as the spray from the ocean thundering below
climbs on thermals blowing the hair out of my face.
my bones know the distance that spans
between my human fragility
and the sharp black rocks below hidden by the roiling surf
and for a moment i want to surrender to it all
give myself to sea
let my blood mingle with the saline vastness
and become part of something bigger,
better than what my life could ever be.
but i rock back on my heels and the earth welcomes me
i feel my roots pulse with life and connection
and the coldness that had seeped into my veins flees
burned away with the wildfire of the sunset
i feel a hand on my shoulder turning my attenion
understanding flows in a single look from an old friend
and we make our way back home.
wrapped in shadows,
who are you when the light of day evaporates
and the cool evening air
beckons you to run recklessly
under the moonfire sky?
what does the midnight stillness stir in you?
does it beg for the search
of a new beginning somewhere,
a budding, brash adventure
before the break of day?
for the night carries me echoes
of your trailing laughter
streaming out behind you on the wind
as you run forever
just outside the edge of my sight.