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Astra Sep 18
I live in a room filled with nightmares,
Graved into the walls of my soul,
I allow myself to be trapped inside believing its safe in this prison,
Then through the doors that lead outside,

I find myself continually,
bringing myself back to the doors to sit right on the edge,
Yet never brave enough to take one more step,
Afraid of the world of what they might say or even the suns dangerous rays,

Until today,
Sitting at the edge of the door I stare at the world,
Somehow now slips into a season one each side,

On the left, the snow falls, creating a blanket on the ground,
Wrapping its ice around the mountain high trees,
And on the right, the sun perfectly rising,
As the bird's chirp; the breeze blows gently shaking the trees
and leaves fall into a small pile,

Taking the metal rings off my fingers, two placed at random on each hand,
I hold them in my palm allowing them to gently slide on to the wood floor,
barely hearing the drop over my heartbeat,

I look above the trees and back below the branches,
Before I know it my two bare feet are in the blistering snow,
Almost frozen I allow myself to sit on a long root of the tree right before the other side,
As I sit, a piece of the golden sun aligns itself with my skin,
Almost instantly I am back in my home,

How is that I can trap myself in the nightmares,
And in blister snow but am terrified of the perfect fall air,
I allow pain to become myself and live in peace in it,
yet the sorrow of my soul knows that's not true,

I allow the pain to swallow me whole,
enveloping me into a shivering fetal position in the corner of my hallow wall,
My mind is afraid of what it deserves allowing it to believe it deserves the agonizing pain,

So it shuts out the warmth of someone's arms,
And pushes away the love from anyone who comes near,
Yet the snow; the frozen fractions allow me to come alive in a whole new sense; I will freeze as long as the image of a "someday" dances in my prison mind
So, my sister saw I was "editing" an old poem and told me I had to post more so here's me posting something :)
Astra Aug 3
My skin tingles as I imagine what it’s like to be touched with love,
Hand once unkind or maybe they weren’t hands but eyes,

Eyes that burned my skin,
As fire arises I wonder if this is what it’s like to burn alive,

I remember the way you looked at me,
Starring your fiery eyes and begging me to want you,

But deep down I knew that the man across the room,
Would love me to life,

Instead of saying he loved me while watching me as I cried begging for my life
Astra Jul 31
The overwhelming thoughts,
The never-ending desire to reach perfection,
The idea of reaching one's potential,
Or even the simple task of one's daily requirements,

A single volcanic eruption can’t begin to compare to life’s purpose,
The almost unreachable; aching
Realization that the idea of expression will ***** up your intentions.
All Right Reserved
Astra Jul 31
A poem of my mind,

people only know how you feel if you speak it,
speaking my feelings is a sin,
one can not commit,
not even to you,
the one I wish could understand it without even a lick of my lips,

I wish you could get it,
yet I know no one can understand that I can never be it
All rights reserved :)
Astra Mar 12
Piano placed in,
Empty fields of sunflowers,
Bright yellow caress,

Your beautiful skin almost aligning,
Fears keep multiplying,
Wind shifts,

Our souls forever entwined,
In the fields of our minds,
Sunflowers and Pianos
Playing with a Haiku format and this was the outcome.
Astra Jan 28
It’s one am and I’m more confused then I was yesterday,
My thoughts somehow overpowering my life,

Making choices and walls that I can’t seem to deny,
Sometimes I wonder if tears ever truly dry,

Because though you may not see them on the outside,
I promise you,
I’m flooding on the inside
Just One Am thoughts, All right reserved.
Astra Jan 22
As the wind rattles the windows,
I arch my back allowing myself to imagine the wind brushing against my legs,

My dress filling with air,
And for the first time watching the sun highlight my skin,
Allowing it to illuminate a color of bright gold,

Shining brighter than a thousand diamonds,
As the warmth flows through my veins, I remember the ice cold dreams of darkness,

Yet remind myself to fall in the warmth,
Because the more I focus my mind on the abyss that’s drowned in sunlight,

The more I want to live a long life
All Right Reserved
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