You have the beauty
That enflames the heart
And enchants the soul
Within, don't hide it

Society's standards
Are ridiculous
The media's portrayal
Of what beauty is biased
We spend out of our means
To wear such and such labels
Wear pounds of make-up,
Starve ourselves,
Because who we look in
The mirror is not what
We see on tv?

What is beauty?
Is it the texture of my hair?
Is it the hue of my skin?
Is it my ethnicity?
Is it my weight?
What is beauty?

Black is beautiful
White is beautiful
Hispanic is beautiful
Asian is beautiful
Bi/multi racial is beautiful
You're beautiful
We're beautiful
We don't need society's
Validation
No, we don't need to
Be deemed perfect by society
In actual fact, it's standards
Are unatainable
So why do we strive for
Something we know is
Only an illusion?

Do we realize the impact
That media has in shaping
The way the millennium
Generation
Thinks, and behaves?
We demand change,
But we're the same people
Tuning in to the same
Shows that we protest about

We've become so engulfed
In the world of entertainment
That the word has lost
Meaning itself
Heck, I'm 18
I'm guilty of this too
Entertainment is no longer
Just that- it's crotch grabbing,
Glorified drug, alcohol abuse
And yet, we wonder why
Majority of
My generation has no substance,
No depth, and no layers

We no longer aspire to be
The Obamas, the Ghandis,
The Mandelas and so on
No! That has long passed
The 'American Dream' has
Become Kim Kardashian
And Kanye West

In all honesty,
We are our surroundings
You want change?
Let's stop watching reality tv
Maybe then these networks
Will stop producing more trash
Let's instill morals
In our children
And help them discover
The fire that burns inside
Them, the beauty within

I told you my story
Because you looked like
You could deal with it
I told you about my demons
You said they were
Barbies compared to yours
I was enveloped in your life
For months that seemed
Like forever
But now your hands
Are clutched on to hers
Like lovers at the parking lot,
Just as something in me knew
You would find your way
Back to her heart
Still, you're the song I keep singing
The poem I keep writing
And I don't know why
She's a sight to see, so are
I shouldn't have kissed you
I shouldn't have believed you
When u told me she was your past.
The no love lost in your eyes
That I saw was only
A strong illusion
Because  your fingers are
Now coiled with hers,
And you lock your gaze upon her Magnificent beauty as if she was a Kaleidoscope of rich,
Mesmerizing luminary
Never once taking notice of
The dark, tall skinny girl
Standing across you;
Solidifying my insignificance.
You're sheltered in one heart
And I'm left to wonder
If I ever meant
Anything to you
The brutal reality
Leaving me with shreds
Of illusions of love
To you
We never happened

With eyes closed
As if blindness was a blessing
As ears prepare
To listen to the melody
Of a heart in tune

Feel the heartbeat in my mind
It beats according
To your thoughts
You are tucked in between
The spaces of my pumping arteries
You are etched in my blood
Every molecule I am made
Out of is made out of you

You opened my percadium
Slid through the walls
Of my heart,
And leaped forth without
Hesitation
Making a home out of
What was once rejected

Open your eyes love,
Let this melody will flow
Through your veins
Let it manifest the love it
Withholds
Feel each and every
Word project unto you
What I feel inside

These words I have
Summoned to at best
Give an idea of the
Depth of my emotions,
And I do realise they have failed
At their purpose – for that I apologise

I lost the most important
Pieces of my life
In a one year span

Mom's sickness was eating
Her alive
I could see it draining
The life out of her
She lost the sparkle in her eyes
Her skin attached itself
To her bones
And she couldn't hold on
Any longer
Her death was like a shock
That spun me around
And I lost it
When I lost her

Father, I barely knew
I didn't cry on 10.10.09
I couldn't
I watched as his coffin
Silently buried itself underneath
I watched as they threw dirt
On what was left of him
That auto wreck took him away
It took him away
He left so many flowers
That I somehow resent
Cause he grew them
He grew them, not me

I was left with a woman
Who swore under oath
And to my mother's dying eyes
That she would protect me
Lord, if this is what they call
Protection
Then what has the world come to?

Try waking up in a house
Knowing you are not wanted
So many of my nights
Are spent crying because she
Tears me apart
I am not perfect
But I was Mom's little angel
It would **** her
To say 'you did well'
It would **** her
To ask about my wellbeing

Sometimes when the pressure
Raises it's ugly head
She'd tell me

"I am not your mother
You know where your mother
And father are buried
You'll go and live there!!!"

She reminds me that
I am not and will never be
Good enough for her each time
She gets a chance to
What did I do to her?
What did I do to deserve this?
Why did Mom leave me?

Suicidal thoughts
Are forever present
I've tried it several times
One would save me all times
Once,
I dumped bottles of her
Sleeping pills down my throat
All I could hear was the
Sound of my own faint voice
Chanting

"Wake up you idiot,
Wake up before you sleep
Forever!"

Once,
I slit my wrists to
Drain the blood off my veins
My brother found me
Lying unconscious on the
Bedroom corner and aided me

Once,
I wore black and sat at the road
At midnight
A woman stopped and told me
I had so much to live for
That the future had gifts

Existing, but not living
Breathing air that does nothing
But inflate my lungs
Will anything ever take
The pain away?
This is not life

This has been going on
For 5 years now
Her words are like bullets
That pierce through
My rib cage and rock me
To my core
Inflicting her insanity on me
One would think
She's highly sadistic

I try to hold on,
Really I do
But my faith is in shambles
I struggle to believe
That I have a purpose
And all I'm holding onto
Are tatters of memories
Of what once was

The valet I pleasure today
Oblivious to the frigid weather,
His warm fingertips
Ran through my bare back,
My body rippled with pleasure
Holding his gaze
I felt his manhood
Against my sensitized skin
His touch was sensuous
His voice was seductive,
Demanding
Like the rest of him
Lifting up my hips wider
To make way for him
He let out a moan
As he buried himself deep,
His length filling me
Plunging,
Thrusting in me,
Deeper, harder and deeper
Stretching me,
More delicious than I fantasized
Lost in the colorful sounds
Of smell of pure bonk,
Bang and more bonk
He moves in long,
Sure strokes.
Deep.
Controlled
He conjures in acidic marsh
I groan as my body vibrates
When he sleeks and slides..

Today
You asked me if I ever
Regretted
Any of the lame,
Crazy stuff that we did

I looked at me
I looked at you
Peering behind
Your concrete walls
And told you

That I
Am not one for regrets,
Don't dwell
On the shattered remains of

What could have been
What should have been
What would have been

That I
Meant every word I said
Meant every word silence uttered
Loved you before my words
Ever ignited a spark in
Your ice cold heart

That you,
Were worth it,
Worth it all

That we,
Were draped with gasoline
We burned like veldfires
Turning everything we
Touched to ash
That they had to call
The fire department

That
The kiss that haunts me
Day and night
The urge to embrace you
Every minute of the hour
The crave for your fiery skin
That burns my fingertips
Each time I caress you
That the hole you left
The scars that are written
On my heart
And each tear I shed
Doesn't compound to regret

You were worth it,
Worth it all