For three years
I have been dirt under your nailbeds, no one’s gotten
close enough to see me. This skin
is a cage
and I know how everyone looks to you

sticking to you in some place, the green goo of
a dead firefly or
an old sweater hung by shoes you no longer fit into.

Your mother is not
from America, but is a mother yet –
I am not from her, nor am I foreign to you.

She watched us in bed together when you were so ill
you thought you would die.

But mostly she saw how

I put more fever
on your cheeks – I wished I would die
for you. No one would miss a crescent of filth you
touch them with or loose hairs
on your sheets. No other girl would notice.

I used to hear the moths tapping my blinds at night
but chose to believe it was you instead,
getting out of the shower, hearing the doorbell ring, I would
pretend it was you having come to visit me.

Eventually bought a compass for the curtains
because I wanted to see
what direction the rocks you threw were coming from.

Well, the thing never moved
eternally pointed south, and I wondered if distance could be
silent when our love is so ******* loud
but it seems I had only fallen for the moths at night.

Moonlight gives us fainting spells
the fall changed your face shape, touches your white back
until it is as freckled as Planet Earth itself.

The moonlight dances on your skin
And I melt within
The beauty that radiates
It must be a sin
From the top of your head
To the tips of your toes
This beauty that no one knows.

Laying naked in my bed
There are no words that can be said
To accurately catch your beauty
From the tips of your toes
To the top of your head.

Long flowing hair cascades in waves
Across the pillows, tickling my face
Your porcelain skin glowing with the moon
Your moonlit kissed eyes glowing and seeing right through me
Into the darkest corners of my mind
And loving every corner.

Those perfect pink lips
That so many times have kissed mine
Soft and supple
Leaving me breathless every time
Along with those big brown eyes
That see through me every time.

The landscape of your body
Should be the eighth wonder of the world
For it's fluidity and wonder never cease to amaze
From the gentle ***** of your shoulders
Leading to your delicate but strong arms
To the ***** of your *******
Two hills of decadent perfection
The curve of your back
So soft and so sweet
With the curves of your hips
So tantalizing to me
Leading to your legs
Legs that go on for days
Your legs and your curves...
Enough to drive anyone crazy.

The beauty of your exterior
Seems terribly inferior
When compared to your inner
The beauty of your soul and your mind
So kind and so caring
But, also, just a little bit daring
And the darkest corners of your mind
They're much more beautiful than mine
And how someone like you could love someone like me
Well, it has to be destiny
How else could you explain it
Someone so perfect and beautiful
Loving someone so broken and a little dull
But, such is life
I'm just glad that you're here tonight.

everything is silent outside,
but the screaming in my soul
gets louder as the day drags
on, and by twilight there is nothing
but noise in my head,

today i woke up with chaos
in the crevices of my eyelids
and terror like a rumor in my
chest, my legs begging to be
set free, to run away as fast
as they possibly can, but
my body is a caged bird, and
my heart, is telling me to stay.

It wasn't that long ago
we were saying our good byes
but I never got to say thank you
for all the things that you taught me
most importantly what forever means
at least when it came to me and you
It means until you're tired
and don't want to play anymore
or until I'm useless
and you've got all your kicks
Was it forever until you're quit
or forever until you're bored
So tell me the truth
did you ever really care?
Did you love that boy you held?
Did you just use him like the others?
And toss him when he was spent?
Now in the end I know
that it's all for the best
We're both much happier
and moving on with our lives
but still the questions linger
like a shadow cast long before
for the life of me I'll never understand
how forever can be so brief
just until you're hurting
just until it's not easy anymore
or until someone better comes along
Is it forever until I'm broke
or forever until you let it die?
But tell me the truth
did any of it matter to you?
Or was it just another cheap thrill?
Was everything you said a lie?
Just like happily ever after and forever.

dark streets
blurred lights
the rain has fallen
into the night

d
   r
     i
      p and
               drops
went the raindrops
i looked out of my window
oh what a weather to see

as the rain starts to pour
i can't help but to think of you more
wondering where you are
thinking of where you might have been

like beaded pearls
the rain continues falling
into my thoughts
i began drowning

i can only pray
that you could be here with me too
but here i am
in too deep with the tears