Just when I think I can to this that I will make it through this crushing weight descends crashing into me leaving me breathless tears build behind my eyes and I cant catch my breath double over gasping thinking this will never end.
My heart has shattered rebuilt and shattered again I don't know how many times each time more painful then the last
How am I suppose to do this without you? people tell me to focus on the good times to not think about you well that is highly difficult when all my good times.... ...were with you. Don't think about the past this about the future That is too painful when I built my future.... ....around us.
People tell me to keep my chin up that this pain will pass. I don't want to keep my chin up I want to curl up in a ball and cry my sorrows I want to scream till my throat is raw I want you to feel the pain you gave caused.
But most of all.......
*I just want you back....
To my ex. I will always love you. and I hope you succeed in everything you do. I hope your life is amazing. even if I am no longer a part of it
Slash* goes the jokers blade His wild laughter ringing His wicked grin gleaming
Red pools dripping as Harley dancing in the puddles Giggling with mad carelessness Carefree reckless abandon
The joker such a gentlemen dressed in his purple threads takes Harely in his white gloved hands And dance the villians Dance
Terror ringing through the streets their evil echoing seeping through your dreams Lock up your houses and bare the hatches No one can stop them in their waltz of disorder
This just popped in my head. Jokey and Harley from The D/C Comics
You're never gunna be alone from this moment on. If you ever feel like letting go I wont let you fall. You're never gunna be alone I'll hold you till the hurt is gone*
The lyrics of Nickelback they ring true for me and you.
Sister I love you Till the end of time. I will never abandon you No matter what you do.
We are sisters You are my only one I will always be here Please always know!
I Love you Summer
<3
The first stanza is Never gunna be alone By Nickelback. One of me and my sisters songs
I can't think of a poem. All filled with rhymes. That flows like a river, Or fits like a charm. I just can't think of a poem, That the teacher will mark with an A+. No detailed words come to my mind. I think and think for hours on end, Nut I just can't do it, Can't think of a poem. Can you?
I wrote this in 7th grade. I was reaading old poems I wrote and I dont know why but this one made me smile
I sit beside the old oak tree. Blade in hand about to make the slice that will release my pain if only for a few.
But then a hand rests upon mine Freezing me to the spot.
"why do you cut?" The owner of the hand says. I look up to see a beautiful young girl Probably no older then me.
"If you have to ask Then you clearly wouldn't understand." I say shaking her hand away.
The girl gives me a sad smile, Lifts up her arm, pulls back her sleeve, revealing the skin underneath.
I just gasp and stare.
Criss crossing scars some old some new no inch of skin spared.
"I understand perfectly" She says
"You want to stop the pain, that's killing you inside you want the sadness to go away."
I just stare at her unblinking not knowing what to say.
She sits down beside me, leans against the tree, lifts her face to the sky and smiles that hauntingly sad smile.
"I'm not as bad as you No Offense I only do it every now and again When the pain becomes to much I finally say, Wanting nothing more then to get away.
"I use to do that too Just here and there." She turns to me eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
"But then the pain gets worse and worse And few cuts here becomes to much To the point where it becomes your crutch
"Please don't do it Please Stop"
I stand up I'd had enough "Why should I listen to you? You clearly haven't stopped!"
she sighs and in that sigh I heard her pain I heard her struggle.
"Just remember you have people who love you They would do anything for you Anything to help you Lean on them They will be your strength When you feel like you have none left"
And with those parting words I awoke from my sleep. It had all been a dream.
Throughout that day I couldn't stop seeing Her eyes Her smile Hear her sigh The heartbreaking pain was clear in every one.
Later that night as I sat back to watch TV My mom and dad doing their own thing My father got out his newspaper
"Such a sad story A young girl committed suicide last night slit her wrists Her little brother found her in the bathtub She was already dead when the ambulance came"
My Blood went cold My breath stuttering in my chest I rushed over to him snatching the paper out of his hands.
And there she was The girl from my dreams Smiling up at me
I guess she was trying to save me from her untimely fate.
You think you're wise? You think you're clever? Go ahead and take it away Go ahead and make me Into your perfect little robot. I'll find ways around it. I'll still continue to be me. You cant stop me But its cute that you think you can.
My Employers tried to take the internet away from me thinking it would make me "more motivated to work" Yeah they leared that it made me worse.. hehehe Whoopies
Where did my sister go? I barely see her anymore Have I done something wrong? We use to be so close, our secrets we once shared. Now It's like pulling teeth to get her to talk to me. Plans We make vanish to the winds, Our little show hung up to dry.
She sits next to me the computer screen lighting up her face, but she might as well be a thousand miles away from me Lost to me in her wrold of Tecnology. Has she outgrown me? No longer in need of her big sister?
Am I being childish? selfish? Am I being Paranoid? I dont know But what I do know is I Miss My Sister Terribly
What we need is a good old fashion Best freind day!
So this is what I'll do
I'll ride that bus to the station and then stomp my fat *** to your house break down your door and drag you out and make you get on that stupid bus
but first I'll steal that shirt of yours I love
Then once we get off that bus did I ever mention how much I actual like that bus? I will drag you To the China Gormet sit you down in the chair and order us some food Our weight in Crab Rangoons
you like that wonton soup too right?
THEN THEN I will make you carry all that food and lead the way to our old hang out Under the playset of the elementary school
ONCE we are settled and snakcing happily We will talk about stupid **** lets add more inside jokes to the list we already have
LIGHT BULB, devils opera, repo the genetic Carnival It's only hard enough to stay Stiff
Please Let us do this Please I beg of you
Becuase I can see it in your words I can hear it in your voice You're slipping away again Just out of my grasp
And I don't want to almost lose you Like I did last time
Your arms, Your smile, your voice, everything just puts me in a place i cant even explain. When I see your smile my knees get weak. I close my eyes and can not speak.
The emotions inside of me are clawing free streaming out of my mouth in a twisted mournful wail Piercing the night air with their cries
Their soulless voices begging to be heard As I try to stuff them back from whence they came but they are too powerful, built up from years of neglect. Demanding to be heard where I want them to be or not.
Their Rage and their pain sail through the night, leaving tears and agnoy, Shaking shoulders and hollowed chests
nothing can stop them now.
The title of this poem I got from a line in the song BREAKDOWN by a band names PROSPECT HILL
At work where I am nothing but in the way I dont fit in Outcast.
At home A place where I'm nothing but a buden. Third wheel outcast.
At work toyed with, looked down at treated like a child.
At home. Never good enough Always saying the wrong thing. Trying to fit into my family that grew up without me. It's to late in the game For me to even try.
Tears spill out, drama Queen Over and over again I am reminded that This isnt where I am suppose to be.
Some day my prince will come Some day we'll meet again And away to his castle we'll go To be happy forever I know*
My prince he never showed Left me standing here alone Away to his castle we never went My happy ever after I'll never know
Some day when spring is here We'll find our love anew And the birds will sing And wedding bells will ring Some day when my dreams come true
Some day when spring is here From the ashes of heart break I'll be anew And the dragons will roar their victory And the bells of my healed heart will ring Some day I'll Make my dreams come true
All On My Own.
The Second poem in my Poetry book "Shattered Fairy Tales"
She's cracking like a fractured window. One gentle touch and she will come crashing down. All her hopes and dreams shattering into a million sparkling pieces. Soon, there will be nothing left of her. Just an empty soul with nothing left to live for.
Tiny human growing inside Mama loves you already Five weeks and Six days Thats how long you've been Here
I cant wait to hear your heartbeat Daddy cant wait either Are you a boy? A girl?
I cant wait to watch you grow To hold you in my arms And welcome you to this world To watch you become someone wonderful
But do I have the right? Do I have the right to be over the moon? I feel guilty being so happy When this isnt my time to shine
I feel guilty and hesitant to share I feel like If I do I will lose someone who means Everything to me.
I feel like I am messing up her moment. Like I dont have the right to open up I feel torn and lost and utterly alone I dont believe I can reach out to her
Im so sorry this happened I never meant to **** things up I promise I'll stay in the shadows This is your shine. Not mine
Just know sis I love you dearly And That I am so sorry For always ruining things for you.
I am laying here in the early morning with you laying on my chest. I cant help the smile that is on my face. Baby boy you gave my life a whole new meaning. Baby boy you started healing a wound I thought would never heal. I know understand women who say they feel like a piece of their heart is running outside their body.
You are only two weeks old but it feels like you have been in my life forever. The moment I heard you cry for the first time I couldn’t help the overwhelming tears of happiness that flowed from my eyes. I just wanted to hold you and cling to you and never let you go.
Oh my sweet little son how Mommy loves you. I vow I will do everything in my power to protect you and love you and help you succeed in this wild crazy world. I will always be in your corner supporting you in everything you do.
You mean more to me then my own life. There isnt a thing I wouldnt do just to see that small little smile. Even when I am exhausted and sleep deprived I wouldnt change any of it for the world.
I have never known unconditional love until I laid my eyes on you for that very first time.
My body is drained my body is screaming pain Head side knee ankle throat tungue wrist ear
this dizzy feeling it wont lift. My vision blackening as the dizzy spell hits
fatigue is closing in. My eyelids fighting to stay open. Losing with each passing minute.
My stomach churning turning against itself. threatening to spill its contents.
tears leak out streaming down my face. my anxeity shot through My poor body is worn out. its needs a break. it needs a rest. ****** why can I just get a break?
I know you I walked with you once upon a dream I know you The gleam in your eyes is so familiar, a gleam Yet I know it's true That visions are seldom all they seem But if I know you, I know what you'll do You'll love me at once The way you did once upon a dream
I know you As I stalked you in the night no it wasn't a dream I know you that gleam of fear in your eyes is so familiar yet you should Know its true Shadows in the night are seldom all they seem But if I know you, I always know what you'll do You'll love me at once The way you do In my twisted Fantasy
Another poem in my poetry book SHATTERED FAIRY TALES this one is from Sleeping beauty. And I'm sorry but it always reminded me of a stalker so I turned it into it. teehee
My inner self Is a small black kitty with eyes so blue they sparkle She is energetic and playful a cute little thing you see
She will pounce on anything she sees and playfully bite your hands Mewing loudly Pretending she is big and scarry
But don't mess with her Or she sharp little claws will come out and MAN oh MAN are those things sharp Her little teeth will feel like needles if you mess with her
So just remember small adorable things they can pact a punch they can be deadly