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Jul 2014 · 304
Inside Me
Fenix Flight Jul 2014
There's something inside me
It's sick
and
It's twisted

Its clawing its way free
and the sick thing is
I'll let it out

The peircing wails
of a tortured soul.
Hungry for a life
it can never have

Hear its howls
Feel its desctruction
deep down in your bones

Watch it pour from my mouth
a filthy ***** black plume of smoke
Its oily tendrils lashing out
seeking their next victim

There's something inside me
its sick
and
its twisted.
Jul 2014 · 438
Dear Nathan
Fenix Flight Jul 2014
Where is my best friend through the ages?
Where did he go?
You promised me
YOU PROMISED
I wouldnt lose my friend


But here I am
almost two months later
Left standing alone
Searching for you

Don't tell me
"It goes both ways"
Because I've tried talking to you
On here ON facebook
but guess what
YOU'RE NEVER THERE!!!

I'm terrified to text you
afriad you will push me away
or worse Ignore me.

Naten?
Where did you go?
Where are you?
Naten
Come back
Please
I
Beg
You

*From,
your BFTTA
Nikkie
Jul 2014 · 513
We Own It
Fenix Flight Jul 2014
I never fear death or dying
I only fear never trying
I am whatever I am
Only god can judge me now
              ~
ONE shot
everything rides on TONIGHT
even if I've got THREE strikes
Ima go For It
THIS MOMENT
WE OWN IT
We Own it By 2 Chainz feat Wiz Khalifa
also the Fast & Furious 6 theme song
its been stuck in my head since I woke up this morning
Jul 2014 · 1.1k
Curiosity Killed The Cat
Fenix Flight Jul 2014
Little kitty poked and proded
Wanting to know everything
that the world had to offer her
Not caring about the consequences
her actions might have.  

She wiggles her way into things
sometimes in way over her head.
Seeking the truth
Ferreting out the lies.
No matter the price.

Then one day her curiosity got to her
You know what they say
Curiosity killed the cat.

Her heart smashed
into a million shattered hopes
A million shattered promises.

Revenge formed in her deadened brain
Making the gears work again.
She pulled together her scattered heart
She plotted to right the wrong.
And laughed as it took place

Because
Curiosity killed the Cat
But what everyone doesnt know is,
*Satisfaction Brought It Back.
Every one knows the saying
"Curiousity killed the Cat"
but what a lot of people dont know is that there is a second part to that saying.
"Satisfaction brought it back"
Jul 2014 · 536
Bitter Cold
Fenix Flight Jul 2014
This internal battle
rages on within me
Sapping my strength
Leaving this bitter cold.

Left alone
in a house
that was never my own.
The Halls once filled
with the warmth of family,
Now deserted
blowing a wind
of bitter cold.

The suns fire
warms up the day outside
Birds chirping
bees floating lazily.
But inside me
the sun can not reach.
Inside me
This Bitter cold
is here to stay.
Jun 2014 · 362
A Night Of Passion
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Let me feel your lips
Glide over my naked skin
leaving trails of fire.
Run my fingers through your hair
twisting it between my fingers
as a moan of esctasy escapes

I cant take this any longer.
Push between my legs
I'm ready for you
Take me now

let me love you
with a firey passion
I cant hold back anymore

Grip my hips
I'll meet yours
****** for ******.

Moaning out my name
I whisper yours
in breathy pleasure.
As our souls join together
for a passionate dance

Release our love
together
hand in hand.
;)
Jun 2014 · 244
I'm So Tired
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Every cell in my body is screaming at me
You Need To Sleep!!!

But I have things to do!
I have a job to go to!

My body rebels trying to fall asleep without my permission
It doesnt care that I Am WALKING!!!!!

Head pounding, Eyes gritty and heavy
Yawns ripping from my mouth unwillingly.

Barely functioning, a walking Zombie.
going through the motions like I'm on auto pilot

This is only day two.
I can't imagine what the rest of the week will be like.
Trying to work a 9AM to 5PM job
and then a 11:30Pm to 5:00AM job.
Barely sleeping.
Jun 2014 · 404
How To Love A Girl
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Don't be annoyed
at the cute things she does.
Its just her way
to show you her love.

Hold her close to you
Her favorite sound is
the steady beat of your heart

Don't bottle up
break free that dam
and tell her your feelings.
I promsie you wont scare her away.

Love her unconditionally
That is most important!

Show her that you
will always be there for her.
Show her that she can count on you.

That is the way to love a girl!
Jun 2014 · 382
Toxic Green
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Toxic green nails
glide over your skin
Leaving their Mark
upon your soft flesh
Creating goose bumps
in their wake
Jun 2014 · 663
Wings
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Wings Wrapped around me

Oh so Tight

Which use to give me

Joy and Light

Feathers are fading

darkness is growing

I know I've lost

this fight

Wings are tattered

Dull with Pain

Flames will soon ignite.
To Jose
Jun 2014 · 387
Wired&Tired
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Only getting half an hour of sleep
Down an AMP
Liquid energy

Walk on to work
Knee give out
Sprain and twist
ankle and knee

Body tired
eyes dropping low
Amp buzzing through my veins
So Wired its comical

Every time my eyes drift close
PING
They pop wide open

I'm Wired and Tired
And I'm ready to go.
Sorry I've only had half hour of sleep and I am about to crash from exhaustion.
I've been up since 11:30PM (6/24/14) and I cant go back to bed until 6:00PM (6/25/14)
Jun 2014 · 552
Halo.
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Dont love
me for
being perfect

Love me
for all
my flaws
and imperfections

Love Me
For Me

thats all I ask of you
listen to the song HALO by Bethany Joy Lenz.
its where I got my insperation for this poem
Jun 2014 · 258
Valentines Day
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I ran up to you
and flung myself in your arms
Our mouths connecting in a kiss
In front of all our friends.

you pulled me back
a surprised look on your face
Really? You asked
hope written in every word

Yes I say
Pulling you in for
another addictive kiss.

I was yours forever
and you were mine

All throught the day
The day of love
we couldnt contain ours

you turned to me
Are we dating now?
I looked at you and smiled
Yeah I think we are
Smiling back at me
Cool

Valentines day
Isnt just a holiday to me.
Its the Day my Life started.
I was dating someone before my fiance, BUt I was starting to fall for my fiance. I told him that he would Know that I was single and his forever when I kissed him in front of everyone and didnt care who saw. HENCE the part of this poem that says (really? Yes)
Jun 2014 · 349
Our Woods
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
On the Outskirts of a college campus
there is woods that seprerate the campus
from the hustle and bustle of the high way

near the tennis courts there is an opening
that leads you down a path
take a quick right, jump over the large puddle,
take the left path at the cross roads
Watch out for the hanging tree limb.
Follow straight.

Off on your left you will see a delapetated clearing
with a Large Tree, and knarled roots poking out of the ground.
Walk over to this tree, appreciate all its beauty.
And if you're lucky you just might see
Initials of lovers carved into its bark
ND hearts MS.

Those woods
that clearing
They mean so much to me
It's where I fell head over heels in love with you
It was in that clearing that I knew
I wanted to spend the rest of my life

With You
I love you Baby <3
Jun 2014 · 294
1W
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
1W
SHTAKO!!!!!!!!!!
it means **** in the world of Defiance.
sounds cooler then just saying ****
Jun 2014 · 237
What I Want
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
What I want
is to have a family
that isnt scattered across the east coast.

What I want
is to not have this feeling
Of Being out of place.

What I want
Is...

Oh hell I dont know what I want anymore
My thoughts are to tangled to decipher my feelings
Jun 2014 · 559
Suicidal Recital
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Take center stage
in this play called life.
where the script is
lost to you

The main act
is your self destruction.
For all the world to see

Your dagger held close
scars spanning every inch of skin.

Should I end it? Should I stay?
The ****** of this life's play

Bring it down to your wrist
the pulse rising as your delima grows

the world holds its breath
everything slows down

The turning point

throw down the dagger
it clanks to the wooden floor
Stand on this stage
look life in the eye

*I quit it with the suicidal recital
I got the name of this poem AND the Last Line
from the song GET WELL by Icon for Hire
Jun 2014 · 300
Anxiety
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Breathe becomes short
Trying so hard to take a deep breathe
and all you get in return is a shallow
imitation of the real thing.

Chest squeezing your lungs
as if they are lemons
and it wants every last drop.

Vision fuzzing
as if suddenly a contact fell out
and your left with the water down
version of the world around you

Fear snaking in
breaking your walls
planting their seeds
in the inner most part of your brain

You shake and shiver
no matter the tempature.
It could be 90
but you'd think
it was 20 below.

Feeling that you need to run
get away from here
but you dont know why

This is what its like
when anxeity takes over
when it decided to take up residence
inside you
and makes you realize
That you never stood a chance
Jun 2014 · 640
Whips
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
He looks up at me with pleading eyes.
I stare down at him with a harsh glint in mine,
a cruel smile spread across
my ruby red lips.

kneeling at my feet
groveling his sorrows
begging his regreat.

I just stare down at him
thoughts swirling around
my sadistic riddled brain.

I unfurl the whip
letting it slowly make its way to the floor
a Sudden sharp cruel snap
rings through the air.
As I slap it against the ground

*I am your mistress Now
And this is what I come up with when I am half dead at work Heheheh
Jun 2014 · 232
I dont Know
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
My thoughts
up and down
side to side
in every which direction
zooming around to fast
for me to pull them
and examine them

should I just stay here
And leave everything
and everyone behind
and in my past?

should I cling to them
for dear life
and pray I get to them soon?

should I just run away
from this place
and start over completly new?

a new me
that no one knows
make a new life?

OR........

Should I take this knife
and plunge it into my
blackening heart
and crush my soul?

I just dont know
anything anymore
Jun 2014 · 293
What Am I To You?
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I've only known you for
hmmmmm
a month or so
But within that month
we've grown so close

You tell me you care
that you hold me dear.
Well the same goes for you.

I help you out whenever I can
You let me vent without judgement
your words are sweet
our talks sometimes brightens my day.

BUt sometimes......
Oh I dont know.......

But then you went
and talked down to me
you belittled me
and mocked me

What do you take me for?
Just a person at your disposal?
Some child who needs scolding?

That hurt
I didnt think you would do that
From him Yeah I expect it
But YOU!
You left me sitting here at my desk
staring at your words
crying silently.

Now I'm questioning everything.
If you could so easily treat me that way.
was this whole freindship a ruse
for your own personal gain?

I'm sitting here a day later still pondering this mystery.
and came up with one simple question to ask you.

*What am I to you?
To a friend on a different website
Jun 2014 · 234
Change
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware
of what they're going through
Change by David Bowie
In the movie The Breakfast Club
(Favorite quote in the entire world)
Jun 2014 · 262
Namir
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
We used to be best buddies
And now we're not
I wish you would tell me why
This is from a song erm
*Do you wanna build a snowman* from disney movie FROZEN
But the simplistic words fits my situation all to well
Jun 2014 · 869
The ONE and ONLY Role Play
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
She goes over to him and curls up around his feet

he spreads his wings and folds them gentle around her small body
rest now *** I've got you

looks up at him and blinks her big blue eyes
teehee
an evil grin spreads across her face

he looks down at her with his eyebrow raised
Whaaaaat are you doing?

she suddenly pounces on him and starts batting at his wings squeaking as she does

A shrill screeches rings through the air as he lifts off the ground and shoot up into the night sky

She clings to his back with her claws ears flat agaisnt her head
looking around she realizes something
*** I'M FLLLLLYYYYING
Weeeeeeee


Falls off the Bed Laughing
Dear Goddess, panda  you are just a freaking goofball.

smiles wide at him*
I know

^-^
Finally got him to role play with me. Not bad Not Bad. for a first time.
Jun 2014 · 265
OyVey
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
It's quite sad
when your work
tries to throw you
into an area of the business
that you were not trained for
its like
"Hey I know you've never done this before but here you go
You'll be fine, don't worry about it its easy!'

And because of the whole
SWEARING RESULTS IN
IMEDIATE TERMINATIONS
All I can say to you is!

THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNKKKKKKKSSSS

-.-
Jun 2014 · 819
The Hawk And The Kitty
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
The Hawk,
Closed off,
distant,
shrouded in darkness
A past worthy of
its own horror movie.

The Kitty,
Timid,
Defiant,
Stubborn till the end
A past filled with
Pain, loss, and sorrow.

The Hawk always protecting
the small little kitty
Trying to keep her pure.

The small little kitty always trying
to bring the hawk into the light
To show him his worth

They nip and play
always fighting
the sibling war.

No matter how mad they get at one another
They have eachothers backs.
Ready to defend and protect,
trust the other to do the same

The Hawk and the Kitty
Both so strong, both so Proud,
arent afraid to let the other see,
their vonerable side.
They arent afraid to let
their weakness show.

The Hawk
and
the kitty
Brother and sister
In every way
that counts.
Jun 2014 · 414
Glass Doll
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
What do you take me for?
Some little glass doll
to fragile to carry on?

You called me the strongest
girl you've ever known.
Then why treat me like a child
like a kicked puppy left out in the rain?

Stop mocking me
Stop Scolding me
STOP babying me!

I'm not A glass doll
I'm not about to break.

So stop treating me this way

You know better then this
TO HAWK
I'm fed up with your Shtako!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jun 2014 · 211
The Grey
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
In your deepest pain
In your weakest hour
In you darkest night
You are lovely
The Grey by Icon For Hire
(Dedicated Just this Verse to My Sister)
Jun 2014 · 2.0k
Nerd To My Candy Box
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Baby,
you are the nerd to my candy box
The Captain Crunch
to my honey bunches of oats

You are the Hawkeye
To my black widow

The chocolate
to my Vanilla
Together
we make the perfect swirly

Hehe
Arent we just
Cornier Then Kanas in August?
all the stupid mushy names me and my fiancee call each other,
(yes he has called me his honey bunches of oats and I've called him my Captina crunch)
(Last line is something he always says :-P)
Jun 2014 · 329
Waves Of Pain
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
the feelings inside
crash within me
like waves against the cliff side.

Their cold embrace
threaten to drown me
in their icy waters.

Waves of pain
keep spilling into me
flooding me with its all consuming despair

Hold my breath
I kick my way to the surface,
trying to find the sun's light.

My head breaks through,
take a huge gulp of air.
I made it, I survived

But the churning water drags me down again
The light slowly fading
All sence of direction gone.

The water invades me,
filling my nose and mouth
flooding my lungs.

I'm drowining in my emotions
Just when I think I am on dry ground
they drag me back with binding chains.
Jun 2014 · 3.3k
Avengers Rant
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
To all those people out there
who try to tell me how to run my life
I turn my back to you
I will stand my ground

I pay my bills on time,
I buy the things I need
Female products, shampoo,
razers, tooth brush, ect

SO WHO CARES HOW I SPEND MY EXTRA MONEY???
Yes I know I'm slightly obbsessed with Avengers
and I buy everything in sight that has to do with them.
BUT HEY I DO IT WITH THINGS I NEED!!!!

I needed a new bedset, my old one getting disgustingly ratty
There just so happened to be an avengers one
I needed a new bath towel,
Hey Look a cheap *** Avengers one!!!!
I needed shampoo
I found a three in one
shampoo, conditioner, body wash
3 buck! AVENGERS!!!
Sorely needed a new tooth brush
Dollar tree, Spiderman!!!!

So you see
even as I splurge
I'm doing it smartly

So to all those haters out there!

GET THE ******* MY BACK!!!
ITS MY LIFE
AND I WILL LIVE AND SPEND IT
HOW EVER I ******* WANT!!!!!!!!!!!
THis was brought on by my younger brother saying how it was pitiful how I spent my money.. -.- -.-
Jun 2014 · 449
Never good enough
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I try my hardest
To be close to you again.

To erase the past
Of hate and distance.

But its times like this
That i wonder if
i made the right choise.

imature
rude
disrespectful

Words you scream to me.
Dont you see what they do?

Do you have any idea
The affect you have on me?

You dont see the tears i hide
You dont see the strength
i pretend to have.

Because i know if i cry
You'll just say to stop being a child.

All i can say is
Im sorry
Mama

Im sorry
I didnt turn out
The way you wanted me to

Im sorry
I know
Im never good enough

I know
Im nothing but
Disapointment
Jun 2014 · 554
Dear Josh
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Dear Josh,
You were my first love,
you made me realize that Love wasnt so scary
It was beautiful and true.

But even before we loved you were my best friend.

You were my Joey
The guy who was there when I needed someone to turn to
making my laugh with your silly MURSNARKing
The guy who walked three miles in 90 degree weather
just so he could go lazer tag with me.

My Joey
the one who stood in and came to a family pig roast
Because my ******* boyfriend refused to go
and he wondered why I left him for you

I miss you
I miss my Joey
We use to talk 24/7
day and night
no matter what

Yes we dated for two years
we went through hell and back
We fell apart and broke away
left off on such horrid terms

I just want you to know
I dont hate you I never could
You're still dear to me
and stuck in my heart

I don't miss us as a couple.
I miss us as friends
I miss my Joey
My best friend

From
Nicy
Snark mur was an inside joke between us
(the C in Nicy is pronounced like an S)
(NOW I AM HAPPILY ENGAGED TO MY SOULMATE)
(I just miss my best friend)
Jun 2014 · 578
call me Master
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I'm dominant by definition
I'm turned on by your submission
The dark side is how we've been living
Let me show you what you've been missing
                    ~
You-you-you are, you are my slave
My little ******* disaster
I-I-I am, I am your god
Call me, call me, call me your master
Call Me Master By Blood on the Dance Floor
Jun 2014 · 521
Masochist Me
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I love pain
I crave it
it sends desire
coursing through my viens

Drag your nails
down my back
make it bleed
leave marks on my flesh

take your hands
wrap them round my neck
and squeeze
Oh the glory of the pain

take the whip
the dragons tongue.
give me 50 lashes
and then some.

Take that shiny blade
and drag it down my back
its unforgiving pain
courses through me.

take me
rough and swift
Pound your love into me
make me moan
and beg for more

Claim me
as your
own
the dragons tongue is a type of whip. it a strip of red (or black) rubber attached to a handle and it is very unforgiving.
(it my favorite type of whip hehe). and yes I am a true *******
Jun 2014 · 968
Full Moon Madness
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
The swollen moon
hangs in the air
illuminating everything in its path

Let the madness wash over you
with its pale silvery light
descend into the all consuming crazy

Rational thoughts fly out of your head
Replaced by wild desire.
The fever burning
churning
making you go insane

Dance under the moon
carefree dont care
dont think
just feel.

this is what it feels like
this Full Moon Madness
Today is friday the 13th (6/13/14)
it is also a full moon!
the next friday the 13th fulll moon wont happen
until the year 2049
Jun 2014 · 247
Once Was
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.

~

She use to be oh so bold.
Never had a care in the world.
She stood tall with her head held high.
Confident walk with an atittude to match.

She never let her self fall
Never let herself be blinded
By.. All.. The... silly.... things in life.

~

Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.

~

A child of the darkness
A child with no mercy
Her heart frozen solid

Not caring who she hurt
leave bodies in her wake
She.. didnt... care.. about.. anyone

~

Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.

~

No matter what I do
She will always be lurking
in the deepest shadows
of my heart

She will
try to
claw her
way through

~

who I use to be
will forever be apart of me

~

Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.

Who I use to be
will forever be a part of me
there's nothing I can do
Its who I am Through and through.
My Attempt at a song. Hope you enjoy it
Jun 2014 · 515
Resist
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
With her eyes cast down
she pulls away
from his warm embrace.

The lust the desire
its all clearly there.
But with a strength she didnt know she had
she keeps him at a distance.

Nothing more
never again,
can she let her gaurd down.

She sets her goals
she will not break

Never more will she know
the feeling of his comforting embrace.
(not based off ture events, it just came to me)
Jun 2014 · 262
Talking, Always Talking
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I talk to much
Yes  I know it true.
I talk
and talk
and talk
and talk
and talk

but just becasue I always talk
doesnt mean I know what to say.
doesnt mean I say the right things.

I am a talker
who stumbles and trips over
what I am going to say next
always afraid I will mess up.

Giving advise scares me shitless
What if I give bad advise?
What if I make things worse?

Telling people how I feel
Terrified to speak my mind
What if I hurt them?
what if I make things worse?

What if I make things worse?

my biggest fear
my worst nightmare.

I am a talker
who stumbles and trips
but I keep talking
because maybe one day
I'll say the right thing.
Jun 2014 · 485
Nerves
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I've got a heart that gets on everybody's nerves!
They don't want the truth!
They just want the words
Nerves By Icon For Hire
(NOT my own work)
Jun 2014 · 450
Window Pain
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
She's cracking
like a fractured window.
One gentle touch
and she will come crashing down.
All her hopes and dreams
shattering
into a million sparkling pieces.
Soon,
there will be nothing left of her.
Just an empty soul
with nothing left to live for.
Jun 2014 · 262
Think I'm Sick
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I'm sick I think I'm sick
Sometimes I think I get like this
I bite my tongue, I clench my fists
Resist at first and then reverse
The night knows me by name
Its shadow trained to dull the pain
All the black begins to blur
Resist at first and then immerse
~
        It tires me, it makes me sad
To think of all the nights I've had
Eyes shut tightly, I shut down
Won't be that much longer now
In the quiet, in the dark
All my ideals fall apart
When they come for me again
Resist with everything I am
~
It tires me, it makes me sad
To think of all the nights I've had
Eyes shut tightly, I shut down
Won't be that much longer now
~
I'm sick, I think I'm sick
Sometimes I think I get like this
I bite my tongue, I clench my fists
Resist at first and then reverse
Life's a war, you pick your fight
I think mine picks me first most nights
If I should wake before I die
Then promise me you'll never get this sick inside
~
Can't undo a word I said
Years of struggle still ahead
All the trouble in my head
I wish I were good instead
  ~  
I'm sick, I think I'm sick
Sometimes I think I get like this
I bite my tongue, I clench my fists
Resist at first and then reverse
My adversary knows me well
She's out for blood, too soon to tell
If I'll outsmart these lies of hell
And think my sick self back to health
Think I'm sick by ICON FOR HIRE
(NOT MY OWN WORK)
Jun 2014 · 319
Just Between You And Me
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Fantasies of you and me
dancing between the sheets
they flit and flutter through my mind

Heat and desire pool deep in my belly
making me need relief
You on top of me.

Make love to me
tenderly
roughly
any way you can.

I'll drag my nails
down your back,
and wrap my legs around you
pulling you closer me.  

Make me arch off the bed
make me moan
and scream your name.

I'll do things to you
that leave you shuddering
and begging me for more.

Kiss you on the lips
and start to trail down
leaving kisses as I go
until you are in my mouth.

Oh the fun we would have
and it would all be
between you and me.
Sorry, my ***** mind got the best of me
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Her feelings are burried deep down
like the pharohs of old.

She pushes on and carries on
Protecting her family
by bringing them endless laughter.

But

Her Humor is drying out
like a puddle in a drought.

The court jester is stumbling
struggling to hold on
She is reaching out for help

The court jester is crumbling
right infront of everyones eyes.
But she does it in secret

with a slice of her wrist here
and a swipe at her legs there.

She puts on her plastic smile
and brings laughter to everyone around her.
Read my poem
The Story Behind the Court Jester,
it ties somewhat into this one
Jun 2014 · 389
Give Up
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Can I just Give up?
Its what I want to do.
Take this blade
and end it all.

Can I just lay down
and accept defeat?
It'd be so much easier
then living in hell.

NO
I CAN'T
I WONT

I want to
I so despretly want to
but I know I can't

My family they need me
They want me to stay.
So I will push it all away
and learn to survive.
Jun 2014 · 864
A Depression Episode
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I try to keep it together
I try not to show it.
But I'm falling apart inside.

The pain is becoming harder to ignore
The tears are getting harder to push back.

But I keep pushing it away
I wont let it out.
There are people out there
Who are more important than me.

But its still there
just below the surface.
it keeps building and building.
and I fall back onto my old ways of coping

Cutting
puking
denying myself sleep.

Why does this keep happening to me?

But I know why.
Because I keep it bottled up
I wont let it free

because there are other people out there
who are much more imprtant than me
They need somone to be there for them

I'll be fine
I'll be ok
because I dont matter.
I'm not worth it.
Jun 2014 · 320
My You're Growing Up
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
I watch from the front seat
as you and your prom date
enter the building to the dance inside

My, you are growing up
My little brother
off to junior prom
My , where have the years gone?

I still remember the little brother
who use to follow me around,
with a stuffed rabbit in one hand
and a goofy grin on his face.

The little brother
with the sqeaky
adolesont voice

I Still remember him
But when the hell
did this little boy grow up to be
this amazing Man that stands in front of me?

****, it makes me cry because,
My little brother
isnt so little
anymore
To my brother Jeremy.
Jun 2014 · 228
Without Your Love
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Life without your love
Is no life at all

All it is is an empty existance
deviod of all emotions.

Without your love
my life is meaningless

Just a hellish life,
worthless.
Jun 2014 · 660
It's Been Five Years
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
It's been five years today
since you left my life.
To live in the great unknown

My big brother
My best friend
The person who knew
just how to make me laugh
when I was down in the blues

You were so full of life
Your heart so full of love
My memories of you
will never fade.

Running around like Psychos
in the Target store down town
Taking posters and sword fighting
riding on the tricycles.

Sleepovers at my dads
That the grown ups didn't know about
even though they were in the next room

confiding in you secrets
I had never told a soul.
Confiding in me the fear
you never let show.

But then you were ripped away
Taken from me to soon.

Its been five years
and the pain of losing you
has never gone away.
My Best friend Alex died from lung cancer five years ago today (6/9/09)
He was only 17 years old.
He left behind a girlfriend and a son.
(I am not that girlfriend and his son is not mine)
Jun 2014 · 674
Rest In Peace TiTi Lucile
Fenix Flight Jun 2014
Christmas time wont be the same
not without your adorable face,
and witty loving humor.

I didn't know you all that well
But you've always been there.
For as long as I can remember.
Every single Christmas memory
You love and comfort
are always there.

Rest easy **** Lucile
I hope heaven is beautiful
I hope you are no longer in pain

Watch over me
watch over all of us

I love you
You will forever be
In my heart
My **** Lucile had a stroke a few days ago
and she sadly passed away earleir today
(6/6/14)
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