I miss the cold air penetrating my lungs,
Bringing me to life.
For once feeling cut off-
Independent
Completely free.
Its empowering
Entrancing
Intoxicating
Poisonous.
That feeling of freedom
"Just one last cigarette."
Repeated a thousand times
in dreams, on long highways,
at the corner buried in snow at midnight.
One last sin
Again
And again

When life takes an ugly turn,
Hurting you more than you ever thought possible,
What happens next?
How do you slap life in the face and stand up tall?
How do you break the numbness, that never seems to go away.
How do you wipe the tears away, when they never seem to stop.
How do you tell yourself, that really... it will be okay.
I want to stop,
and listen to the birds sing their happy tune.
I want to stop,
and smell the flowers erupting through the air.
I want to stop,
and feel the sun radiating from my skin.
I just want everything to STOP.
Stop taking away pieces, when there's nothing left to give.
Stop stealing my tears, when you don't deserve them.
Stop stopping myself... from being happy.

Though we are not giants
We can reach across the world,
To touch the hearts of many
To step out and be bold

Did you know, as you see the pictures
They’re really peoples’ lives?
Not just faces; these children have
Real tears and real eyes

If we all can give a little
Our change can change the world,
One step at a time
We are nearing our goal

We can all make a difference
Greatness has no age or size,
It’s only what is in your heart,
That’s truly recognised

And though we are not giants
The world’s within our grasp,
For on each others’ shoulders
We can reach each others’ hearts

To dance
To wish
To hurl yourself into
     the whirlwind of a world

To inspire
To create
To experimenting mix
        these colours of the mind

To live
To die
Perchance to dream
        span time until eternity

"To be
   then still
           To be"

For today is brand new,
It is of circumstantial glue.
For today is a day,
Unlike most yet still the same.
For today Ill give in,
Not sure if Ill be able to again.
For today ill forget who I am,
But not how to be a man
For today, just for today,
I want to be us again...

Cigarettes taste better than life sometimes
On his lips, his breathe that mix with mine
Blue eyes, black skies and stormy seas
Her I am, back again and on my knees

Take my virtue dark angel, take my pride
I feel your sweet venom run  deep inside
Pretty and perfect, porcelain and lace
Used and wasted, my body and face

Never did destruction offer such pleasure
Obsessed, undressed,  take any measure
Bound by addiction, by greed and misuse
A insatiable need for your sadistic abuse

**** me and pry me, love what you've taken
Hide me, denied me, leave me forsaken
Drink down heartache, wasted we entwine
I am yours but you were never mine

It comes to us all, we ask ourselves
Is love the source of bliss?
If true, then why did I love her so
And yet feel so amiss?
Could it be conversation that
Would bind us, heart to heart,
Or physical stimulations that
Would sour, before we part.

‘It’s always been such a mystery,’
I said to Anne Marie,
‘What was the force that drew us in,
Why did you cleave to me?’
She shrugged, and thought for a moment,
‘Why must you philosophise?
I thought there was something welcoming
About your soft, grey eyes.’

It wasn’t enough, I knew it then
There had to be more than this,
How could you build a relationship
On a stolen midnight kiss?
I needed to know the locks and chains
That would bind us, as they should,
On through a distant future, when
In thrall to a different mood.

I told her that I was leaving her
On a cold dark winter’s morn,
‘I knew that you would,’ said Anne Marie
As the sun came up at dawn,
‘You’re not content with the time we’ve spent
So your love was not for me.’
I couldn’t tell how my heart was full
With my love for Anne Marie.

But I thought it had to be tested,
Love’s not sure ‘til it’s tasted pain,
By leaving, there could be one result
And that one result was gain,
It would either set us apart for life
As our ardour died in the flame,
Or qualities more substantial would
Draw us together again.

I knew it was quite a gamble, that
It could well change my life,
Tampering with a primal force
Could only bring me strife,
But love would have to be strong as steel,
Unwavering in its course,
To prove that everything else was real
Not waning from the source.

I disappeared for a month or more
But where, I didn’t say,
None of our mutual friends had seen
Me out, by light of day,
I thought to set up a mystery
To prove an ancient saw,
That absence makes the heart fonder
As it did, in times of war.

Whatever I sought to prove, I did,
The proof was in the gruel,
With plenty of time to ponder, though
The lesson learned was cruel.
I crept up there on a starless night
And I heard her whispered lies,
‘I thought there was something welcoming
About your soft, blue eyes.’

David Lewis Paget