I am forgiving
the plants do not choose
nor the sea or sky
Just as I did not choose

I tried to stop inhaling
but the automatic response
of body has me ever
Exhaling

I dunk my head underwater
in lapses of my swimming
I can stay 45 seconds before I panic
and over a minute if I am calm

I take life by each moment
I hold on to nothing
I am so forgiving
that it keeps repeating

No more words, there's nothing left
No one speaks to each other
I mean, I tried once
But it was only cuzza drugs
I like it when nothing's left

I've finally finished something
That wasn't a fantasy
I've finally entered my heaven
Died so suddenly

Mistakes were made
Said I'm a waste of space
I'm taking up nothing now
My lines are free somehow
You've said hello once but
Do I keep connecting
Or do I sever what's not for show
Watch me
Watch me
Watch me
I let go

What a joke, I laugh
Things blur, I stand
This hand-in-hand disgusts me

Why not, you scream
I lie, unclean
Sheets don't cover anything

I let go
The amount of the sin
No, let go
You're always taking me in
The nights aren't safe
My days are crazed
Ends look attractive now
For, who am I
Stop laying awake
Shake the pleasure off
I want knives to help me
On my new payed job
Why not

function -- can't function
pardon me and words and eyes and my whole
world disintegrates and then just stays

waiting around me and my bedside
to gain affections or the attentions
of someone who knows nothing and is easy

to attach themselves to or with or inside them
manner exist, sure, but as what
as time or inches or abject qualities

My artful deception
Not nearly done
The sweet divine is calling

The normal precession
Left to right & big to small
I fall backwards

Shadows cut lines
In perfect enchantments
A poet's lullaby

Meaning in nothing
Everything is one thing
Look into my reflection with me

Gravity is sickened
Falling sideways
Swaying to the beat

Consciousness clouded
Each footfall is massive
Echoes into all matter

Floor as my witness
Collapsing in slowly
Push back on me

Pause for a slowing
Deliberate growing
Our solidarity as fuel

But what is living without barriers
Or a body without hard lines -
My angles are fine

Each purple and green finger nail
Bruise or coloring book
Endangered organs

Wrap me up in cold
Or create me a mold
Something to fall into

My creation is lazy
In colors I am blind

Turn off your narration
Static and voices
A fan, somewhere

Empty space
Orders for new materials
Brick-walled barriers

Perhaps, paint one wall
3 stories up
And room to jump

I am hungry for infallible
Disastrous possession
Avoidant personalities
Violent narcissists
And angry pedophiles

I, narcissist
I have asked for this
Inattentive guardians
And half-baked characters

This willingness of mean
Wild and violent
Watch me fall asleep
And take out your mindlessness