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Feeling Real Aug 2014
I am at fault for the things I perceive
When I am surrounded by nature
Watching lovely nymphs dancing through trees
My head's so busy, thinking, of only me
Settled down, at night, I relive my day
Too many calories consumed by me
Too much of a disappointment to be
Anyone but myself- and awake, I lay
The men I want, and the things I crave
Escape my grasp, my loose fist clasps too late
Today I asked a boy to date me, he lied, he hates me
I attract those who can't tell I hate me, too

I always catch men staring
And I feel a searing guilt
Of acts only committed in mind
Because I remember and
I find even the thoughts repulsive
I'm fine now, but thoughts evolve and
Triggering can't explain well enough
Feeling Real Aug 2014
I'm feeling an expansion
That isn't physical
Nor inside of my head
I know, I've checked
And, though easily tired
I have scoured my depths
For what?
A notion of things past
Experiences not realized
Nor will be
Misogynist, hater of existence
All but mine
A gift to myself
Fruition to be
Or not yet seen
Both awake and in slumber
I writhe, lain flat in covers
Real and fictional alike
There's nowhere to direct a longing
If ever I would create one
Feeling Real Aug 2014
Oh those dixie paper cup
Forgotten childhood love
Dead dead heart
Dead dead soul above
Wake up deary, now
Story book picture bow
A great job done
Illegal fun
Before word gets out

Someone said wake up
Someone said get out
Mirror dreams and fever parts
Damp rememberings
Softly summer breeze
With lilac smell
Feeding bees
Feeling Real Aug 2014
Weary footman
Relax your vanities
Your possessions
They are mine
Leave hurriedly
Lest our minds
Also cross paths
Feeling Real Jul 2014
I can account of scarcely more than my own perception
My clever tricks keep me swift
I can approach without falter
As long as I must not review or alter
The notions on which I exist

While conversing with myself, I mention
A series of eerie similarities of things that be
To render useful ambivalence I ignore myself
I disregard whims, wants, and health
Finally, yes, all is clearing
I can see
Feeling Real Jul 2014
forced taste into sour mouth
no, sweet
fillers
static existence yet sun and moons
pretend the liars do speak great truths
masterfully woven
the tapestry
gypsy jewels and patterned art
mistaken for rewarding
left dull my watered part
nutritionally devoid
not punishment or repentance
the fast commences
acute
Feeling Real Jul 2014
driving past red
calming hues of blues and greens
nature's imitator, bleakly, but resilient
if I were the ant I would step on me, too
often I am, but disguised
cracks in the sidewalk are cracks in my exterior
I paint myself thin upon tree branches
I drip - drip with gravity's whim
blurry-eyed and sleep-deprived
glutton for existing as such
in my hands, crumbled, dry leaves
relish in the ending of acts
misguided attempts at steeping leaves
harvested during new moon
tranquility is unreached at current times
I am always sure to remind what's forgotten
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