Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Feeling Real Jul 2014
of course, i'm alright
i've just got my drunk vibe on tonight

i don't know who i'm with

i'm on top of the world, lights flickering

a burning taste, a sweet embrace, follow me down
Feeling Real Jun 2014
I am not a beautiful girl
who loathes her being
her grace, her pale skin
the veins that protrude
But I loath existence
I loath the mirror
reflecting the distortions
that may or may not be there

I am an untroubled woman
who absolutely hates
everything about myself
physical or otherwise
but it's ignored at all times
until it's finally brought up
I realize I can not love or communicate
or have a relationship
that is more than superficial

I sit, writing, but words don't always come
I want to describe the utter nothing I feel
I want words to flow like water
like smoke or smell
not stunted like I seem or am
Feeling Real Jun 2014
i.
I can't feel anything
What is physical and what takes brain?
It's okay, or so I've heard
I could pass time by daydreaming or going out of my mind
I promised someone I would learn to let go
I promised myself I'd never ease up
I know I'm lying to somebody
But I refuse to believe anything

ii.
I thought that I let go
I can't see
I told someone to help me
and it got me nowhere

iii.
Have you ever started to dream
And been unable to find a way out
I know it's not the smartest thing
But reality is so much of a let down
You could try to follow me home
I would not stop you
If you happen to knock me out
Well, I'd enjoy whatever happened in the fall out
Cause there's nothing I want more
I want to feel you on the other side of my door

iv.
Have you ever seen the sun shine
When you couldn't see the clouds or the blue sky
No I never have, no, I never wanted to
I guess that's just me

v.
I don't know what I should feel
Could you explain something to me
What is an emotion
And what is real to more than me
I want money
I want love
I something more than what I have
Feeling Real Jun 2014
I'm feeling monumental
like I've made a plan and followed through
but I don't finish anything
not thoughts or even this poem
Feeling Real Jun 2014
She was finding it hard to not look at him. She was glad he was driving right now.
She noticed his hands for the first time. His face didn't betray his age. He was too colored, by experience or value, to have something so insignificant obviously displayed on his features.
He fiddled his hand over the steering wheel. She could see a few protruding veins. His forearms, still half-covered, showed skin that looked worn and weary, but heavily muscled. She wondered why she had ever looked to his face to find his age. It clearly was of less use to her than his hands.
He readjusted himself beside her, picking his left leg up and propping it up to his thigh in the drivers seat. The closed triangle lost her attention.
She looked to her own hand, wondering if the age was displayed in it, as well. Pale, fleshy, youthfulness; nothing marred by lines or dryness to meet her view. Perhaps, this was just a marker of work. She had done little with her time. He looked over at her for a moment, eyes grinning with what his mouth wouldn't dare speak. They lock eyes and when the contact breaks, continue to drift down the road.
"How old are you?" She asks him. The first words she had spoken to him since their physical encounter. He considers her for a moment.
"I'm 40."
"Oh."
"What?" He asks her.
"I don't know."
excerpt
Feeling Real Jun 2014
Do you remember anything
From when we stole the car and drove across state
The time slows so far down
That time still replays
alright, okay, it's fine, it's fun
Nature is a part of all of us, you remind me
Because I forget anything about the world I'm in
Could you hold me up again
Because I haven't touched my plate
I could let go of everything but this, it seems
Just hold on tight and get out of your dream world
okay, alright, I'll be alright
Feeling Real Jun 2014
I think it's time for everything to end
There's nothing here
there's nothing I can get
I want to feel the things I haven't felt
I need everything I can get
I need help
Time keeps slipping
The clocks unwind and I roll with it

Everyday the sun rises and falls
Everyday I want to die
But there's something in me that isn't right
and someone's lying next to me tonight
I keep slipping
Out of my clothes and into bad habits

Do you think that it's a good time to die?
I've got nothing,
or, I want nothing
Time keeps passing by
I think I'm in love with the night
This is what I am
A proponent of easy-living

Why don't we end the pretense?
Jump off a bridge
It just makes sense
I can't remember why I've been
sitting around doing nothing
This is what I am
If the time is right
why should I live?
Next page