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always awake thinking
always breaking down
in silence

late at night
when  i know you're sleeping
i think of you
and your gently blue
eyes

late at night
i think of all our memories

i think of how we are strangers now
and how it wasn't supposed to end this way

we agreed on being friends
but neither of us tried in the end

it came down to us ignoring each other
i hate hate hate all of this

i know its for the best
but all i want is to say hi to you

you were an important part of my life
and now you drifted into my past

you used to be my present and my future
but i knew that wouldn't last

i put my heart on the line
just to take a chance

and now my heart is torn
and you're a glance gone wrong
It was almost as if,
My nightmares,
Had become more,
Than just,
Subconscious thought.

You ran along the uneven,
Cobbled, stone road,
Your mouth stretched open,
Sounding,
A silent scream.

My heart stopped,
As a Large metal object,
Labeled "49",
Propelled into the side,
Of your fragile torso.

Your bones bending,
And breaking,
Mind crushed by the drowsy,
Surprise,
Of a late night bus driver.  

I begged you to be careful,

You promised you would listen.


As the sirens wail,
Caressed the sleeping city,
Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks,
And stained,
My soggy pillow.

*I turned it over,

Then went back to sleep.
The past I can't remember
The future I can't see
The here and now if I think about
Only confuses me

Where does that tend leave me
Besides a limbo state of mind
If I dig to deep inside of me
Afraid of what I'll find

I get out my shovel anyways
And if curiosity kills the cat
I'll toss it in the hole I dug
Then that will be the end of that

Because the past is long forgotten
With a future yet to come
I'll just take the hear and now
And continue playing dumb
...and suddenly you rolled out of my life

as quickly as you came in

the last drop of moisture from off my eave

a storm i wish to remain

your lightning mixed with thunder

both blinded and deafened me

showing up when i least expect

showing up to fill my need
kiss me gently
like you did that night

kiss me softly
and make everything right

help me remember what it felt like

i want to feel that spark
i want electricity running through my heart

your kisses left me speechless
dead in the night
like a hopeful girl thinking it would last

i miss your soft caress
your tender touch

i miss your heavenly gaze
perched onto my face
your eyes pierced my heart
and i have never felt the same

kiss me gently
make me forget the ending

kiss me softly
get my heart starting
Don't worry darling,
When I push you away,
I promise,
You won't feel a thing.

I'll be the one,
To burn in the fire,
The smoke,
Causing my eyes to sting.

I know it's for the better,
I'm a burden,
Don't you see?

I promise I won't blame you,

Who would want to be around me?
I promise I won't blame you,
I don't have the guts to leave.
I am the child, I am the man
I am the lover, I am the friend
I am the palm of the lending hand
I am the point where we've already been

I am the far next door to the near
I am the calm mixed in with the fear
I am the all in all that's held dear
The very moment when all is made clear

I am the young, I am the old
I am the secret that's been left untold
I am the price of silver and gold
The heat taken from the center of cold

I am the now before its too late
I am the dawn that comes with the break
I am the last of the last give away
I am what you wish you could say

Of course I am you and of course I am me
I am the captive on the brink of being set free
I am all this as well as all these
I am all that I claim to be
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