I think it's time.
Time for me to smile.
Time for me to stop thinking and
start doing.

I think about my actions to much.
I play it safe. I think of all the possible outcomes
before major decisions. Will this be a good idea?
Will he like me back? What if I move here after college?

I need to stop everything. Stop, drop and relax.
Stop thinking of what others think of me.
I've had a rough life, but who hasn't?
I'm going to smile, cause I deserve to.

There are two of me.
One of you.  
I just want you to look at the other me.
Obsession isn't good.
But you're the only one I see.
One of you.
Two of me.
You'll stop, talk, and show an interest in the other side.
This side of me sees only jealousy.
One of you,
But there's still two of me.

I don't even know what I'm doing I guess.
I have never been here before. I have never felt
the bitter effects of being so close to seventeen that
You can taste it.
I've never fully put myself out on a limb yet.
I've never dangled so high above the canyons of- I don't even know what.
(sorry, I'm too tired to think of a metaphor).
I've never tried so hard to win before,
hell, I've never really wanted to win before.
I'm strung together with motown and old violin strings
and also the constant nagging to become something.
I really don't want to, please don't make me.

Every time I kiss you
After a long separation
I feel
I am putting a hurried love letter
In a red mailbox.

She loved it on him

Made her want to sin

He fulfilled her every whim

Always gave in

How he feels without her

Snuggled in its hue

Sitting in her chair

Such a sad view

The colour of her kitchen

He smiles unknowingly

Remembers her *******

Though always wittily

Her perfume simply called blue

Lingers in the air

He dabs a tear or two

Imagines sniffing her hair

Parents called her Violet

How could they have known

Her favourite palette

And she not grown

Jarred out of his reverie

A clapping of tiny feet

His hand taken lovingly

As she dances to her own beat

Violets legacy, beautiful

Her eyes a gorgeous shade

He called her Belle

Can’t believe what they’ve made

He drinks her eyes in

That colour unique

Breaks into a grin

His future not so bleak

I can touch your skin without crying
and wanting to tear away my own
That hasn't happened in too many years
or maybe not enough
I don't know if it's early or late
but you don't care
so nothing has to change
We can watch American Horror Story
even though we are living one
And I can hold onto you with teeth and nails
because this darkness is vicious and wants you gone
I can watch your back shift as you pull off that burnout
Your demons slide along your bones under pale skin
And then you toss the shirt over your head
and they slip back into your grooves
Eyelashes are smearing tears in the cup of your shoulder
under the careful watch of your black eyes
Our hearts are black too
but not in the way everyone thinks
But it doesn't matter, sweetheart
You wouldn't care if I had a red heart or a blue one
Because it wouldn't make a difference, baby

Was I supposed to Stop because you weren't there?
Was I supposed to Stop walking because you couldn't hold my hand?
Was I supposed to Stop painting because you couldn't be the  first to see my work?
Was I supposed to Stop living because you weren't the first one I saw after a good day?
Was I supposed to Stop loving because I wasn't loving you?
Just Stop, because I can't.

Dark whisperer, uninvited
You have come
To know my heart
To ******* lips
To claim my soul
As a traitor to the sun
I turn and desert the world
All I’ve ever known
Comforted by the sound
Of a silent beat
The rhythm of eternity
Pacifying uncertainty
As we walk a nameless path
That none have ventured
To fathom