Darkness surrounded the Light with fingers long and slender
It encroached Heavy.  and black,
like mascara running, wet from the rain.
Cold rain, water stinging the visage
once warm and cheerful,
though now bitten and chilled,  Life drained.

Breathing became harder as the Lungs filled with darkness
Soaked by broken Fantasies.  and thoughts,
the mind transformed, a prison of words.
Sharp words, letters cutting the soul
bound chained and caged,
tormented by beliefs and emotions, Life drained.

The sinner-saint, weighed down, collapsed on filthy streets
and left an imprint which withers as time passes.

We are a mirror
We are all mirrors
In our own ways
Reflecting gods image
And reflecting gods light
Even as crazy as the world
Has become we all share
That divine light and love
That is inside
Even if people doubt it
Or push it away or ignore it
That divine nature is waiting
Like a spring or well
It springs from a divine source
Spreading through the world
And reflecting through us
And into others
If we start to understand
This simple truth
All other strife would cease
We would stop killing
Or hating or separating
Each other because we would
Understand we are only one reflection
We all share the same spirit
And the same.source

People ask me why I cut
People say "Why would you do that?"
I'm too young to be this sad
People don't understand
I cut for me, I cut for pain
Emotional pain makes me sick
It is unbearable and all-consuming
Emotional pain in which I wallow
Physical pain is easier
Physical pain is short term
It allows me to Focus
Focus on the thin red line
The drops of blood pooling
I don't have to think at all
Nothing comes into my brain
Nothing but pain signals
No remembrance of ****
Abandonment and abuse
Cutting is my escape, my salvation
I am full of so many demons
When I cut I bleed them out
Each drop of red is a tear I've cried
Many tears and many red droplets
Physical pain overcomes me
Wraps me up in a ****** up blanket
Cutting is my drug, my escape
I am given the chance to numb
The ache in my heart is released
Through the valleys in my arm
Valleys carved into my flesh
Released through the blood
Pooling on the bathroom floor
A puddle of pain and demons
This is a puddle of me, all the
*****, nasty, unlovable, *******
Then there is a moment of bliss
That moment when I numb
Like right before they put you to sleep
The numb feeling of emptiness
I don't think about the demons
The demons in my head, screaming
They are no longer in my brain
They are in the puddle on the floor
No longer inside of me
Gone for a moment but not forever
Pain always comes back
This is why I cut, to quiet the pain

Reach into me, scour me for my soul, throw it up against the wall,
**** it.
Powerless, vulnerable, submissive is my soul.
Offering, willingly, hoping it may not hurt. Though it always hurts.
I know I will never escape.
Though achy and sad, I am free in the throes.
I let go of who I am and forget that it's me.
Letting go of myself and my life and my problems and my joy and my pain and my worries and my sorrows and my dreams and my fears and my feelings and my thoughts and my colors and myself and becoming nothing.
I love being nothing.
When I’m nothing I don’t have to be anything ever again.
Lonely nonexistence is my favorite pastime.

A respite
Brush the charred remains
off, clear the soot out from my eyes
to get a clear view
A vacation, one week to strengthen the knowing
side of me
How I feel lighter, knowing this will be a time free
of attacks

There is so much I don't know
Thinking I know, drives me in a circle of pain
One week, to build those internal muscles
so when the attack comes again
Perhaps, I will be stronger

Save the date just
for breathing

no walls, both
open

I see myself best when outside myself,
too deep into thought and the ruts become unavoidable.

life is good.