My love for you is quite substantial
Just enough to get us by
When I'm with you, I never panic
My stomach knows no butterflies

My feelings for you are adequate
I kiss you like I do my mother
Politely, cordially, out of duty
Plainly and unpassionate

There are no ups and downs
No disbelief at what I've found
Our love is completely logical
Solid, steady, and sound

My love is understandable
Laid out, and well defined
My love is clearly tangible
No need for even trying

My want for you is sustainable
And well under control
My desire is easily satiable
Like a dead tree that no longer grows

I'll love you this way until I die
Or until the day you leave
And on that day, I will not cry
Nor shall I ever grieve

Because this kind of love is lacking passion
And without true belief
It's the kind of love you're better off without
It will never satisfy your needs

i swallowed the sun and
washed it down with a little inky night.
now wildflowers bloom in my heart
and light fills my mind. these
words are solar flares of a
fallen petal.

the price of it all--
welded lips of unspoken words.
now other people mishear
and believe i am speaking,
but it is only the wind
whistling through
my teeth.

now i find that,
being alone is silence,
but it is never quiet.

i always romanticize
those past moments of
what i believe was
untainted happiness
because i am stuck in
the discontent of the
present moment, but
i'm always discontent
in the present moment
because i romanticize
those past moments
of what i believe was
untainted happiness.
i try to take life by the
throat but i don't have
the energy, and i don't
have the energy because i
have been trying to
take life by the throat.

i'm stuck in a cycle.
i am a fallen creature
and no amount of
effort or escape will
ever change the fact
of my dissatisfaction

but maybe i need
to give up and
accept that i am
dissatisfied, then
and maybe then
will i become
satisfied.

I once had friend until
he fell in love with another.
I saw him everyday,
Even went out of my way
To see his lovely face.

We laughed, cried, talked.
I fell slowly, softly, soundly,
And he never knew.

I never knew until he came
With a ******* his arm
And it took all I had
To hold my tears back.

I introduced myself
Then cried myself to sleep
And wondered why
I hated her so.

She was funny.
She was smart.
Her voice was soft
like the perfect sunlight.
That’s what he said.

But to me, it was like
The thunder and lightning
That steals my breath away,
Not in a good way.

He said her touch
Reminded him of
The the rain falling
Fresh on his skin.

But to me, when we
shook hands, it was
The hail pounding on
My back when I looked
For a way out.

He asked why I didn’t show
To the movies when they
Asked me to go.
I told him I was sick.

Sick of pretending I didn’t care.
That I was happy. Sick of hearing
Her plan their wedding before
She even had a ring.
Sick of hearing her name the children
They didn’t have.
Sick of her having everything
I thought was mine.

He asked why we never talk.
I shrugged it off and told him I was busy.
Busy praying for them to end.
Busy wondering what if.
Busy trying to fix my broken heart.

Then one day,
I found out
She had a ring
He gave her
On my birthday.
And I cried.
I lied.
And I told him I couldn’t
make the wedding
Or do the portraits.
The ones I promised to do
when we were five.
I told him I was busy.
It was just life.
He said he always thought
I would be at his wedding.
So did I.

I thought
I would smile
Walk down the aisle.
And take his breath away.

Instead I cried.
I lied.
I didn’t watch her smile.
Walk down the aisle.
And take his breath away.

Instead, I hid myself away
Cried everyday.
Tried to talk myself out
Of a tragedy I lived.

They came back
from their honeymoon.
I lived in despair
And gloom.

Then one day,
Something changed
And I stopped being
In love with a memory.

I met them for coffee,
Apologized for my mistakes.
Then someone came and she introduced
Me to him.

The way he looked at me
Made me feel beautiful
The way he said my name
Reminded me of summer rain
And slowly, softly, soundly
I fell.

And this time he
was there to catch me.
I smiled.
Walked down the aisle
And we took each others
Breath away.

The boy comes across who seems fine,
Sends silent shivers down my spine.
Through experience I already know,
The hidden emotions he will not show.
Day by day he fights the urge to weep,
While every night he cries himself to sleep.
Razor cuts and lighter burns, hot as coal,
But what hurts the most is his wounded soul.
He cannot find the motivation to heal,
So his dark, disturbed emotions he must feel.

My Firefly, My Queen,
My Bride to be
I love you so with all my might
A truly stunning and radiant sight
A heart so pure and perfect
Your scars and wounds are not a defect
More glorious than you realize
No need for wonderland, no need to fantasize
My Firefly, my Queen, my Bride to be,
We could be, everything…that is, and only if: you will have me…

I knew what you said
I gave you my all
I should have listened
We knew I would fall
But I gave you my all
I fell for your hair
And the way it fell on you
I guess I was scared
But now I'm just blue

And I'm a fool for you
You never see me through
Written off and back on again
Back when a word you couldnt lend