You like to store your knowledge in books and the quiet haikus that you write in your head all day long
Past mistakes may be flying around you like confused little demons with knives threatening to shatter all of the good thoughts
Just remember the promises
It is all so easily fixed
Not with a razor blade
Or a hard shot of liquor to the throat
The hollowing in your stomach tells you that bleeding isn't a sign of weakness
But it should never be brought on intentionally
And although savoring your youth is important, you shouldn't dwell on it
You can still remind yourself of the beauty of your innocence and it is okay to release that sigh that rolls off your tongue heavy and hard
Sending burning flares of emotion to your heart
Ugly, but never lasting for eternity like a handwritten letter does
Kind of like a cup of hot tea at midnight

Your thoughts will always be innocent
Allowing mountains of passion to form that only belong innerly  
While numb answers swirl around in your steaming cup
As painted letters line up like numbers on your skin
With words bound tightly
Waves of familiar fate grow louder like beats
Each minute spent feeling fragile shouldn't affect how you were built
Grasp those precious fields of love and tuck them safely underneath your heart
Growing in strength is an inevitability and your toes will never defy your legs
Loneliness may be desirable but that image of yourself is burned and twisted in your mind
You have healed and the experience is full of energy wrapping around your bones
And fault echoes in your head but it is all so silly now
Reaching for the sunshine buried deep in your core
You shed the false rage and struggle with despair as the evening retreats
Your depths grow deeper and flames of remembered pain rush through
But your birth is a beautiful miracle
And history explains how the sunlight welcomes
And will always be there to kiss your skin and guide you to places unknown
Until you are full of nothing but warmth and rapture
Your existence is such a lovely, lovely thing
Never forget that

The sun touches my skin
Days like this are fleeting
And make me feel happy just because
Days like this feel like dreams
That make everything seem a little bit better than before
I search as I wander
Singing hopes along my metaphysical journey
The dirt looks bronze and my clothes feel heavy
The dreaming begins again
And my eyes seem to glow with the sun
Forcing me to write
Making my gift shine like the light
Covered in emotion
My vision slightly blurred
Sweat lingers on my back like the taste of wine does on my tongue
The page is filling up
As deeper casts of sunlight lock down onto my frantically moving hand
I quietly forgive myself for all of those things
Over and over and over again
Just so I can hear it one more time
My shoes come off

I listen to the distant sounds
Thinking about the battle my own mind created
A magic flame burns on my arms
And in the garden a stranger bids an early hello as pleasure swirls like the scent of flowers around my nose
I think about how much I have grown since the screams that used to drown me and the tears that used to suffocate me
I suppose the worst is over
Because the pride has started and what I fully deserve is not that far ahead

I opened my eyes and taught myself to not romanticize the idea of loss
And the clock sent a cloud of thoughts that barely covered the entrance to the abyss I call my mind
The path of pain and destruction is ending and theres a fork in the road
No more wandering down the wrong trails anymore
I always thought, someday things will be better and I will be better and the ***** bliss that comes with my love of loneliness will subside
It will no longer be shared with its dear friend named sadness
But maybe the longing will forever be felt upon my shoulders
But maybe that is enough

Everyone wins at some point or another
I guess you just have to enjoy it while it lasts
And when it subsides
You'll board the train and watch the ghosts through the foggy windows as you sit there alone
Looking upon a seemingly fake reflection
You'll slip through the doors just in time and find that you're holding the key in your hand
Christmas time will come and you won't be held back by the bottle
And things will be complete and you'll probably find yourself constantly missing the gray lady who used to whisper horrible things in your head as she sat upon each of your shoulders and smiled a crooked smile that spread to each side of her face
You'll imagine her blowing life's pain in rings like cigarette smoke around your neck
Drowning your thoughts
Making your ears bleed
And the ink remains

But each week is a step forward
It's okay not to be grounded
But you have to be sure you're not floating too far away
Waste is not desired
Especially when you find your youth diminishing faster and faster with each measly year

Let it all sink in
But never forget the frozen winds that used to beckon to you and call you darling
And remember what happens when you lose yourself
Promising to never let yourself get that deep into the forest
Without admitting how lost you are
Ever again

You look up at the sky and notice how it has always been a real friend
Recalling how often you used to admire its immaculate beauty
Hoping one day to be only half as beautiful as it
It took you years to finally be able to discover the sky's beauty within your own self
You may not be perfect
But everything that is beautiful in the world can also be found within

Lonely thoughts crash like waves against the walls of your mind as you wonder what the sun does when it fades away each evening, slowly and beautifully
You are young in the deepest part of you but you have wisdom far beyond your age
Existing quietly within your mind
Searching for more and more beauty to lock into that old, beaten up chest of yours for safe keeping
So you can admire it from up close for eternity

It is peculiar how the stars care from afar
Full of warmth and a passion so strong it shines from lightyears away
With your head held high and your shoulders strong
You resemble a tree
Free but completely connected to everything
In tune with all of that and all of whom are around you
Sharing your beauty and wisdom with the world
As you rest in comfort and safety
Within the loving caress of the earth
And its universe
Forever