Evynne

Evynne Sep 2013

Being told you are beautiful
Is one thing
But being told you are beautiful
And believing it
Is another

I have been called beautiful
More times than there are freckles on my face
(And that is a lot)
But not until recent
Did I ever believe it

Usually I would brush it off
And see it as an empty compliment
Or a conversation filler
Or a device used for personal gain
Any time someone would tell me I was beautiful
I wouldn't believe it
Not even a little bit
And that's the way it was for a very long time

I was too used to people leaving
Especially after I let them get close to me
And touch me
I was too used to being let down
I couldn't trust anyone but myself
And I didn't think I was beautiful
With or without anyone's truthful or deceiving opinion
I truly thought I was the farthest from beautiful

Usually when people would give me such a compliment
I would say
"No, I'm not
And you don't mean that"
Most didn't bother to argue
So I never once believed it
Until I heard you say it

At first I tried to do what I always did
But you wouldn't take no for an answer

I'm not sure if it's the way you say it
Or how many times a day you say it
Or just the fact that I trust you enough
But I really do believe you
When you tell me I'm beautiful
Hearing the words, "You are so beautiful, Evynne"
And feeling the honesty and passion pierce my heart
Is something I have never experienced before

I may not think I am as beautiful as you like to tell me I am
But at least I believe it
And when I say I believe it
I do not mean I agree
But rather, you tell me I am beautiful
And I think to myself, "You really do make me feel beautiful"
Regardless of any prior opinions I held of myself

Now that is a very powerful thing

Evynne Sep 2013

Filled With Love

You kissed my wounds
Seeing them not as disasters in my soul
But as cracks to pour your love into

Evynne Sep 2013

A Writer's Wish

All I've ever wanted is for my words to reach people
To dig deep down inside of them and pull out something they never knew they possessed
Silently and gracefully
Easy on the ears
Heavy on the heart

But I am clumsy
I stumble over my thoughts
All I do is spill out my heart on paper
Smudging ink in between faint blue lines
But I love and I listen
Always
And the possibility of it makes everything a little bit easier
So maybe it is okay like this

Evynne Sep 2013

Fall's Alluring Capabilities

I enjoy crisp fall mornings
When you can hear the crickets crowing softly in the distance
As a quiet breeze whispers lovely secrets to the trees
Gently caressing the faces of the leaves with care and ease

I enjoy crisp fall mornings
When the windows are slightly cracked open
And you breathe in the cool air
Slowly
It feels strong and compressed
But refreshing and awakening

I enjoy crisp fall mornings
That are accompanied by a warm cup of tea
With a blanket of sweet solitude wrapped around my shoulders
And everything feels like bliss

Evynne Sep 2013

The Gift Of Darkness

I loved you
And you gave me something in return
A box full of darkness

It took me years
To realize
That this
Too
Was a gift

A greater gift
Than I probably
Ever gave you

Evynne Sep 2013

A Promise To Yourself

You feel love in your heart
And you think you know things
That you know the world you are presented with
Through your eyes
And your body
But you can never be absolutely positive
Of anything really

Height of the day
Just as the sun is at its highest peak
Your mind buzzing
Time wanting to escape

Your body tingles
It feels as though every beautiful thing is beaming inside of you
And you think about the way people really look at night
Honest and vulnerable
You can see it in their face
Thoughts and words feel warm on your lips
Your heart always discreetly longing for that certain person
And that one special place

Then there are the deep mornings
Your head still heavy with dreams and sleep
Your body notices the beauty of the sun peaking through the shades on the window
Making small, abstract shapes on the surface of your skin
With the moon out of sight
Though not fully lost
It reminds you of the goodness of the universe
And how you love it when it kisses your forehead and holds your hand
As you murmur sweet compliments to it in a sublime and hushed voice
Your soul smiles and thoughts feel different

You contemplate your reality as you write rapidly
It is completely quiet
And your existence feels light
As you remind yourself about the forever kisses
That you not only need
But that will accompany you
On the continuance of your days
About the many hands held
And the warm and welcoming embrace of your bed
And lover's arms

This is a promise
You will continue to feel loved
No more miserable days lost feeling sad
You will continue to be loved
Days will be spent feeling whole and beautiful
This is a promise
That will be kept
Day in
And day out

Evynne Sep 2013

The Skeleton In My Closet

There is a part of me
That I hold very dear
To who I am
A part of me
That is always hidden away
A part of me
I have never been comfortable
Of showing to other people
It is the worst part of me
But it is the best part of me
I like it the most
It feels safe
Like a secret only I know
Perhaps this is why people
Find it so difficult
To figure me out
Perhaps no one ever will