I held my breath
in an attempt to stop the tears.
I think I passed out
before I got there.

I fell in love with a girl
again, at a bar
My friend said she was Czech
Hard to say
I didn't ask for her passport,
and she had nowhere to carry one
She smiled when she glanced my way
eyes glazed, speaking my language
The Czech girl, making love to a pole.

r ~ 8/9/14

We knew him well
his jest
most excellent
alas, not infinite

Where be your gibes now?
Your gambols? Your songs?
Your flashes of merriment,
that were wont
to set the table on a roar? (Hamlet, V.i)

We laughed,
we cried
amused and touched

Borne on your back,
anguish unspoken

Poor Yorick.

r ~ 8/12/14

here comes the fishhead singing
here comes the baked potato in drag
here comes nothing to do all day long
here comes another night of no sleep
here comes the phone wringing the wrong tone
here comes a termite with a banjo
here comes a flagpole with blank eyes
here comes a a cat and a dog wearing nylons
here comes a machine gun saying
here comes bacon burning in the pan
here comes a voice saying something dull
here comes a newspaper stuffed with small red birds
with flat brown beaks
here comes a **** carrying a torch
a grenade
a deathly love
here comes a victory carrying
one bucket of blood
and stumbling over the berry bush
and the sheets hang out the windows
and the bombers head east west north south
get lost
get tossed like salad
as all the fish in the sea line up and form
one line
one long line
one very long thin line
the longest line you could ever imagine
and we get lost
walking past purple mountains
we walk lost
bare at last like the knife
having given
having spit it out like an unexpected olive seed
as the girl at the call service
screams over the phone:
"don't call back! you sound like a ****!"

More recently
I have become a better person.

I have been nicer
And more accepting.

And now I notice
More people walking out of my life.

People that I care deeply about.

So what am I left to do?

Guess I just have to say *******.

Everyday I wear a cross
But usually I forget why

I mean it's silly
A big man in the sky
Putting me through some hell
That people call life

I go to church most Sunday's
And ask for forgiveness
For things I intentionally did

I say a prayer each night
Just in case someone is listening
And during the day I'll randomly say
*******

But I guess when the bucket is kicked
I'll find out how stupid I am
Because right now it's late
And very dark outside

I love you, God
I'll talk to you tomorrow before bed.

I guess
I could say
It's not that bad.

Earth.

Because when
I make a mistake
I know that
Tomorrow
When I come home
There will still be
Flowers
On my trees.

So I guess
Some greater power
Shows me
That I still
Deserve beauty.