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Evelyn Rose Jun 2021
take me to the desert
no one will find me there
sandstorms will obscure our footsteps
the sun will sweat out all our sins
Evelyn Rose Jun 2021
I told you to remember your phone charger
and
also
to remember
that I love you.
More than anything
in the world
more than autumnal trees through frosty windows, freshly cut grass, poetry, the smell of books, old and new, potato waffles, scrambled eggs and hot rain.
Because you are sunlight
after an arctic winter
you are the warmth under my skin
you, my love
are more than
anything.
Evelyn Rose Jun 2021
There's some pain in this. There's some growing up and moving on.
There's letting life go. There's endless cyclical comparison, I want to be like you, I don't want to be like you.
Here at the edge of the future there's fear so thick you can touch it.
There's a life borrowed. A bed borrowed. Friends. A bathroom, a towel, toothpaste.
There's a river and a racecourse and rowers and jealousy biting at the bone. Luck in sprinkles and saturation.
There's meeting the boyfriend, the housemates, the puzzle pieces of the past and the potential.
Somewhere there's regret. Of not being good enough, smart enough, rich enough, pretty enough, skinny enough.
There's some missing home and some glad to get away.
A deep breath and a scuba dive into a life that was only an expanse of water in the distance.
There's some letting me in, some sharing of stories, some secrets kept.
There's recollection, backward pedaling, basking in past experience in the invisible, unbearable weight of the years that brought us here.
Names remembered. Nights we'd rather forget. There's a newness brewing, promises of something else beyond this, just around the weeks that hold us back.
This year, plus this year plus these hours equals a key, opening doors, company cars and apartments.
There's a sinking. Right back to sixteen, to sleepovers and sleeplessness.
Look at us. We've wound our way here. There's pride. We made it from there to here, from somewhere to somewhere else.
  Mar 2020 Evelyn Rose
Marissa Calderon
A relationship with me is much like stepping on a grenade.


Thrilling, terrifying. and bound to implode.


So, if I find another great love,
I will not ask them to grow old with me.


I will ask them to

implode

with me.
-
Evelyn Rose Mar 2020
I cannot stay
I must go
or
He cannot stay
He must go
or
He will not stay
He goes
He leaves me all alone

We spend this long together.
Then it ends.
"We" become a me and a you.
Notes on a film (Like Crazy 2011) I watched long ago and then I watched again.
Words I wrote not realising they were for my future self.
Evelyn Rose Feb 2020
Listen.
Cars on the motorway speed past.
The fridge hums, the radiator creaks.
Listen beneath that.
Is that the sound of the sea?
Waves gently greeting the beach?
Or is that the hum of my ears when they hear nothing?

Beneath the noise is the sound of loneliness, the sound of nothing.
Silence.
I can feel it, almost taste it, reach out and touch it.
It is alive and shimmering.
Evelyn Rose Feb 2020
Go to the city
Walk around
Feel the people, the heartbeat of the street.
Look in shops, museums.
Stop in cafes, drink, eat, sobremesa yourself.
See friends, talk, laugh.
Realise you're alive.
Sobremesa is a Spanish word meaning staying at the table after a meal and just chatting with the people around you.
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