The only version I'd keep of you is in these poems
Happy then and strangers now

If it makes you feel better leave me on read
I did this to us and I understand
Keep your peace
If I could say one last thing to you it'd be
Thank you for
learning, growing, laughing, crying with me
And capability of love and happiness
Thank you GB Potter

You strange soul....
Here you are once again...
Finding me in the shadows
I rather die then to give in to you

I hate you too
Get a life. Go away. You're toxic and nasty
I don't want nothing to do with you
You hurt me too much that grown sick and tired of your lies
You're no one special

Get off the deep web
And start living
Stop crying. Stop bleeding. Stop watching me
Its pathetic

You're no one if you just go around spreading hate....

No notes but imprints in the dirt. My raw emotion shrouded my fear.
Kicking at rocks along the way.  
I knew what the world could to an innocent. Not that im anything of the sort.
I took roads like this before.
A day when purity had been robbed of.
The last thriving light about me.

But that isn't what I come to reveal. The kind of beings I bare in mind would become dime a dozen due to the bulls hitters.
Gone in seconds. Slipping away quietly. I just walk out of lives.
And to those I was bound by blood I'd love to forget.
I know I made lasting impressions in lives. But to who extent should I stay. No other than mine.

Just remain as a habit. Maybe the its the pain of not saying goodbye. I need it more than you

Many dreamt moments I wake up when we touch but please stay longer kind dream
Let me enjoy this with you

With guided happiness and loneliness forgets me.
Im free. Smiling as ever please let this be forever.
But unfair as my life has kept me until you first spoke to me

Nowhere do I bear in mind of the last goodbye.
Only just your heartwarming hellos.
If I could just tell you im in love you

I was the new kid still your approach was by mistake.
Accidental friends. Yeah guess you could say
And my misstep had been when I fell for you. The depths I had went I still question like a drunken night.

But you kept me around. Maybe for attention though the love you never mention wouldn't have it
Then you would pull out your notebook of poems you've made.
Stuck between the pages, folded my poems I written for you.

My, you hurt me. While I watched the girl you chose over me overlooked,  just a friend.
I still have your poems. I loved for years but for you just months.

Outlining lips with fingertips while you smile. Gazing, watching trying to capture your beauty onto metaphors or sketches
That perfection to stop your questions of why

Turn your flaws to an admirable trait.
Hush your negativity and kiss me

Quite ****** up the things we done and said.
But still stand alongside the closest i have ever stand with anyone
The longest kisses. Warmest palm in my hands. Tangle and entwine fingers. The tightest hold onto another.
And your all mine?

It quite sweet to be the memorable first. But if you'd been me then this is pure happiness than i ever been

Dabbing alcohol. Wrist face up. Winching and looking away.
Sanitize me.

How wrong to stop a constant breaking that become a habit. And stop loving me?
Oh no no no dear its not that easy
Ever I asked you stop playing? I do not dare because its what you love
Though you'll never get to see this its something for the ruins
You have me so much with bother of the greatest lesson in life. The obstacles in love and I fallen for you?

Hard to understand when at the time. When our worlds were so different and I desperately invite you inside. Trying to keep you awhile longer.

Ending with shotgun in the chest. Laying on the pavement. Tears almost endless.
Its hard to breathe I cant see the stars we had once promised to see together

How dare you to take such a leave. I know its hard to understand when I reached for that razor
But all in all, I'm here to say to not only you
That yes, I have stopped for myself.

I come to you and lie to you
"I stopped hurting myself"
Only to just know it makes you smile though I can never see it

The lasting inspiration far from the romance that was meant to be when alone of these thoughts of you
Allowing your once threshold power I couldn't utter aloud
Yet scribbled onto many letters that were never sent
I wish I could make you understand instead of coming off sounding still so crazy

When really it wasn't you it was how beautiful it felt falling
Feeling weightless. That I wasn't alone though it was wrong to be so exposed

It was the right choice to have finally walked away. As I express this confess that clean cut. There's no blood to fall nor me over you

I find myself seeking for reminders to try revive the joys I had felt.
Casting a flurry of flutters on memory lane. Though I cannot help but notice the raw emotions that been setting in only brings clarity.
Wish I could breathe a word of apology through a fault no other than your own.
But I'm still here building on reasons of why am I still here.
Smile along and carry on

Countless, maybe thousands of poems fill my inbox
Some still unread.

In another folder, harbors inspiration, a memory, a trauma
A help for me to continue on scribbling poems of my own

Drafts of my old poems and wonder have these touched another?
Like they touched me?
Words of people I think I met

I'm not finished hear me out. Then your turn.
Lacerated love, come and bruise me again. Remind me of a time where I second guess love in all its blind beauty.

Where the creatures of my hell nail me inside of my coffin
Shut out. And yet you stand there.
I see it. In your eyes.
Not you, too

Speak of a person, like no other in existence. By blood is all I see
This will never be perfect, than I will hold you to.
What whispers in the dark, you speak of? Turn what I, inside am onto you
What more will you say now?

Finally draw me in your depths of what this is?
Slapped on label "love." Might you tred safely of the long term side effects? I recommend it, if your stuck with me

Dawning on again, smiling while the tears run
What I push to threat comes to hurt me in return
When I force that blade onto you I wish you would end me
But instead I'm here falling over, weak

I'm bleeding for you darling come cry with me. For the worthwhile I'll break
But be there when I wake

Take me another drive in memories. Washed by the thousand fallen tears in Toki's fur.
Would you help pull it away? My raining blood of so called stupidity?
I'll hide away so you won't leave just yet
We're mearly just two souls trying not to die alone
With a chokehold of established reality
And pretend together. I love you.

Play the sweet warm string of lies.
My, your so charming. Plunge it right to where I feel it.
Your wished, left hanging on the noose I tied for you.
Care to step in?

Special. One of the kind.
Indeed I am. Yet I allowed you to see your dream.
One blink. Goes away.
I'm much more.

Similar joy I fought for played like this. Here I am, scars and all.
Don't question me. I'll set aflame your notes of love.
Its not about play. Don't **** with me.

Stay here. Where its not only in dreams to find you again.
Misfortune of my weeping happiness you'll never see
Stay alive and survive with me.
Is all I ask.

Wrongful acts brought us closer
Feelings cutting deeper
Through this ritual sacrifice
We're find happiness in this

But to become alive in reality
Might the world seem brighter?
Wait and seek
Surely, what will come kills loneliness

Surrendering heart and soul
Far greater we become one

At first sight never imagined stemming of the thousands memories are to be born.
Become real. Still blossom behind the boundaries.
None of this we'll stop us from imagining what could be
Honey, I love to stay and dwell but will your wishes of "dream of me"
Be only nightmares?

You've given me a taste of my greatest memory
Miles and miles, I could feel you reach. Your warmth leaves me burning
So please, smile and take my breath away once more

My eyes can't leave you. Brimming with tears.
Mouth your name through the glass that stands between us.
Your stare back completely oblivious I'm breaking down.
Smiling wryly in return.

There's the clenching inside in my chest.
Like the times, you held me not ready to say goodbye while I cried if I'm ever going to see you again.

It all came rushing back.
I loved you then I love you still

Broken down but overgrown sounds what best to make of this mess.
Where the beginning only started to make sense.
If I could visit once more,
Dig through the ashes for more memories
I promise to not pick another broken glass and stain your burial.

Walk room by room that once stand don't seem so big anymore.
Thank you for the memories, though they weren't perfect but they taught me alot.
Last dance with the flames. I imagined your light caught everyone's eye in that dark lonely night.
Your were beautiful.

Under the strobe lights while bathe in the melody.
Lost in herself. Eyes closed drifting where the music takes her.
Slowly moving. Nevermind the eyes melt of her.
Its just her. Alone but peaceful.
"Is this how nirvana feels? Or death?"

For once the feeling of beauty within blooms.
"I feel...powerful"
Sway away of all kept her hidden.
This is not her but she's far gone.

Another innocence stripped of her.
The dark cloaks her with chills. Not that she minds.
Still so lost.
To be noticed in greed. Frightening, sickening.
Does she care?

Then-
Oh my.. so innocent but another fool
Smitten.
New touch of sensual sends chills. Every one arise to awoken from lavished words.
I've grown to become the submissive for your wildest dreams
Luxuriously ****. Hear me stroke the deepest part of you. Just you listen.
Melt for me. defy like ride of delight with a twist
Now-
ages ago still you linger around. Choose not to forget.
Miss you too
Reminiscent thats when times were aflame. Alive
Oh the leaps i would've made. Now im the one left melting.

It is quiet. Lurking cautious he enters.
Even in the brightest day still remains the darkest. Like her soul.
A four wall barricade of emptiness.
Adjustment peers in the bleakness. Finding her at her lowest.
But something odd sets him off, what's the slight glint cast off the moonlight gloom?

She doesn't dare to look at him. Cradling the cold metal.
"Just one, could be the end of it all. Finally"
This warms her poor heart.

He moves in closer now realizing. "Oh..no" Terror crosses his face.
"Don't. Please." Whispers pleading.
Thousands times before he look upon her face seeing the same empty blank expression still remain a beauty.
Concern and asks, "Who hurt you?"

Winces and bottom lip quivering. Another wave of tears come streaming.
"Face of reality, we cannot fight them all. I grown tired love." Her voice breaks down to the shaking whisper
"How much do you love me?"

"Miles and miles. Always." He can't stand seeing her like this. Without the guilt that he failed at her happiness.

"Then join me. Together, we fall." She smiles through the tears.

The flashbacks of under the stars where promises were made. "No. Together, we can be strong. Just stay with me"
Intertwines his hand with hers. Taking a firm grip from the gun.

She buries her face in his chest. Then releases her grip. "Forgive me." Sobbing as he holds her close and tight.

He hears a click but dismisses it. Now remembering his mothers ring hidden in his jacket pocket. Taking her by the hand. The gun is tossed on the bed.


Silhouettes play on display. A flash of light pulse. All in a second, through her head. She falls.

He can't move. Nor can't interpret. His hands raise in sight splashed in warmth of her escaping crimson. The same hands that caressed and held her
"...****"

Ignorance and aggression are taking into place. Playing over and over stuck on continuous.
The look on his face. The rage. The fear
The astonished. Im fixed on you. No...this cant be you.
Everything slows while falling. The pavement and i meet.

Blood? But..I cant feel. Please dont let this be real.
Collapsing, I'll stand down. Just go away

Piercing through. Rays arriving upon rise.

Your there with me; witness an art form or so i believe.


Blood thristy screaming silent shared in oath. Neverminding the pain only to be seen laughing.

All the while, it brings a smile i cant hold back. Afterwards, i take you into my arms kissing away the escaping crimson.

With the lips, i imagine you wish for a kiss. Then stay with me. Dont let deep moments such as this just be a wound, my true friend.

Whats there to say? To share?
Time has just turn to rust.
How long is enough?
Anything to be there. A light, a hope
Depart, apart a romance to decompose
Love is just a ghost
"No matter what, " Death can take it away
No apologizes can heal this wound

Shattered. Break of the loss
What is of the fault? Mines, I want to believe.
Yours? Impossible. Or what I wish to think...
Yet words you speak of me. I feel the razor.
Sweet addiction. Please stop.

Could this be real? Could you?
Your true face? No. It can't be.
Every ******* attempt you stray to my side.
Push away. Ignore of what "was"
Hoping you'd stay away.

The small moments, we share. I want to cry out,
"Who exactly are you pretending for!?"
Never wating to see everything is a lie
But it was all "then." Drifting in ashes.
****** past. Vital vein, keeping me from saying
"Goodbye."

In the moment of departure, its all silence, yet holding on. Close and tight
Of all we shared this will always be the hardest.
Need not say another word beloved in this frailty just hold a smile and never stop telling me you love me
But know one day, with the hopes you bless me. It'll be everyday I'd wake up and see you

Continue on, make mistakes. I'll return knowing I need you. Keep on sharing the rays of light on the shadows of the doubt because I love how unreal it feels
Memories are made from ashes of our secret silence romance kept even from ourselves.
Meanwhile, searching for delights to alter. Only in fantasies we may. Keep in mind, your abused hope that was grown. A romance apology, your wish. Nevertheless, forgive me

Lets remember we got here together. No more hiding.
Gentle you care. Passion, you show. Unique, I see. Love me through the insecurity. I'll show you a world to fulfill your void.
No worries dear I'm right here

Could you be a delusion for a lie? Another look in the face of reality
for what you have come isn't at all worth to believe.
Take one and only thing unreal to my world. Led along, your pawn. Demoralized in your power.
Blood streaks and tear stings for you. Now, in the escape of all in the senseless moments holding my wrist in your clenched hand, how can you say it's wrong? Or how can you even call yourself a caretaker?

Eating away. Like the flesh you solemnly kiss. Through doubt if wanting acceptance wishing away.
Careful dear, what is carelessly labeled "love"  I might just destroy it.
******* and walk away as a stranger.
Make note not just subjected to games of satisfactory but been there and suffered through it.
In the trips of the fire like those of Hell. The losing and starting over. Again. Alone.
Dullend over time.
Nothing new. Just an idiosyncratic routine.