but how does one
fall in love
with someone they havent
met?

with only pictures and
rumors to feed on
im quite surprised im not yet
dead.

i was the optimist
ever hopeful

but when you
came and left

i gained a new
title.

"the mood that once
was yellow
became a muddy
brown.

the fellow that
once waited
was now nowhere
around."

black and blue
stings

what will tomorrow
bring.

countless rules
for me to abide

is keeping silent
a kind of crime

will it ever stop
this person in my head

to control my actions
to make me dead.

the soft sound of water and ground
the sudden flash of lightning all around.
the heat that escapes my every breath
its almost rain, but not quite yet.

love is a form of art expressed
through little words with no regrets

the greatest love that ever lived
thats graced the world, thats seized my lips.

i stopped writing about love
when i stopped receiving
when all i saw and felt
were lies and deceiving

stomach filled with rocks
that i shouldnt be feeling
but i cant help my feelings
i'll still keep eating

never been approachable
never been the friend
always drifting far away
to nothingness and dread

i wish they'd let me keep my silence
in times all i ever want is void
to be at peace and build a fence
but some things i just cant avoid

please forgive my silence
it wont ever leave
i enjoy your company
friends, can we be

flowing like the rivers course
losing all of lifes poise
and all of this i have no choice
to the darkness i've been endorsed

i want you to ask me, to bother me,
to show that you care for me
but you never do.

i want to feel like i mean something to you
not just someone to be with and talk to
when she´s not there.

but everything i want, is too much to ask for
when will i realize, you will never be able to give me
what i want, what i need
when can i let go, and leave you be.

why does caring feel like a burden
i´m curious, i care, i want to know
but why take it in such a way that makes
me feel low
makes me feel bad i ever asked
is it my fault i long for that?

thinking you´re special, thinking you´re different
thinking that maybe, this could be different
but as long as there´s doubts clouding your mind
you´ll never be free from the thought of goodbye.

my mood changes suddenly
i am mad, abruptly
i am sad, clearly
and then i smile, happily.

she smiles, she jokes
she´s got a lot of love to give
but look closer, look deeper
feel her misery.

reaching out to others is a hard, hard thing
i really never do, not much for a casual fling
i want to be friends for a long, long time
but why does it feel like the effort is all mine?

i just want to feel loved
cared for
but why does it seem so much
to ask for
it physically hurts inside my chest
a longing so deep, it can never be
quelled.

a demanding presence makes itself known
commanding everyone to stop and turn
its giving its present of orange
burnt and alive
but hurry it wont last long
have your share
what a beautiful sunrise

the sunrise paints orange onto the curtains
the sunrise paints magic onto this mundane life of everyday
it is soft and nostalgic
calming, inducing
it demands you to stop and bask in its presence
as your coffee grows cold on the counter

i hate this feeling of despair
of being second, a secret not fair
but the ache it leaves in my chest is sweet
yes, i feel hollow, but i´m in too deep.

what we have is something only the heavens know
between you and me, they frown in unspeakable woe
wondering why, for they already decided for you
and for someone like me, i think nothing is true.