thinking you´re special, thinking you´re different
thinking that maybe, this could be different
but as long as there´s doubts clouding your mind
you´ll never be free from the thought of goodbye.
reaching out to others is a hard, hard thing
i really never do, not much for a casual fling
i want to be friends for a long, long time
but why does it feel like the effort is all mine?
why does caring feel like a burden
i´m curious, i care, i want to know
but why take it in such a way that makes
me feel low
makes me feel bad i ever asked
is it my fault i long for that?
i want you to ask me, to bother me,
to show that you care for me
but you never do.
i want to feel like i mean something to you
not just someone to be with and talk to
when she´s not there.
but everything i want, is too much to ask for
when will i realize, you will never be able to give me
what i want, what i need
when can i let go, and leave you be.
she smiles, she jokes
she´s got a lot of love to give
but look closer, look deeper
feel her misery.
my mood changes suddenly
i am mad, abruptly
i am sad, clearly
and then i smile, happily.
i just want to feel loved
but why does it seem so much
to ask for
it physically hurts inside my chest
a longing so deep, it can never be
love is a form of art expressed
through little words with no regrets
the greatest love that ever lived
thats graced the world, thats seized my lips.
will it ever stop
this person in my head
to control my actions
to make me dead.
stomach filled with rocks
that i shouldnt be feeling
but i cant help my feelings
i'll still keep eating
i stopped writing about love
when i stopped receiving
when all i saw and felt
were lies and deceiving
for me to abide
is keeping silent
a kind of crime
the soft sound of water and ground
the sudden flash of lightning all around.
the heat that escapes my every breath
its almost rain, but not quite yet.
i wish they'd let me keep my silence
in times all i ever want is void
to be at peace and build a fence
but some things i just cant avoid
never been approachable
never been the friend
always drifting far away
to nothingness and dread
flowing like the rivers course
losing all of lifes poise
and all of this i have no choice
to the darkness i've been endorsed
please forgive my silence
it wont ever leave
i enjoy your company
friends, can we be
but how does one
fall in love
with someone they havent
with only pictures and
rumors to feed on
im quite surprised im not yet
you were the black among the reds
you were the string among the threads
you were a love i never knew
black and blue
what will tomorrow
she's so fair
in the eyes
i was the optimist
but when you
came and left
i gained a new
"there's this girl
who didn't care
so she became-
an easy target.
that she went
there is always-
a gun in her pocket."
"the mood that once
became a muddy
the fellow that
was now nowhere
— The End —