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esak Mar 2015
it feels like lying on the edge of your bed
and you try not to fall
it feels like trying to figure out your head
but you don't have the ball
you want it to be like this and like that
but nothing seems right
it feels like dark hallways in a midnight late
and you expect jump scares in fright

i feel like a rat eyeing cheese in a trap
run away gets me nothing, try to get it i might die
i questioned why i keep running into mistakes and mishaps
i'm a strained cat try to claim the tiger's eye
in a group i'm probably the most unskilled
in a battle i'm most likely the first one who get killed
"where the heck you even got all those courage?" they say
"when among these shiny sharp needles, you're the only hay"

i'm fully aware i'm not the creme de la creme
let alone try to resolve these glimpses of dreams
but along this journey i started to realize
it's not the goal they convey that you need to emphasize
it's the feelings, the laughs, the cries, and the stumbles
the obstacles you had overcome after so long it got you shattered
and maybe you'll get to understand a thing or two
that happiness can also rely in a tale of woe

i've been here for too long, but i rarely have the gut
like an endless carousel, words and thoughts are still spinning in my head
it's too complex to collate, i'm not a poet laureate
and you'd still hardly understand, i might as well do charade
what i know is i should have had no regret, it's supposed to be meaningful
another lessons learned, another clemency for this clueless fool
this will end in no time, the ride is on hurry
final year is months away, and i'm scared as can be
esak Feb 2015
One oddly tilted head
Two eyes were two stones thrown into the horizon
Four misplaced limbs because of the shock
Three? They were left
Those names were unheard when you did these kind of things

It's cold here, I'm dead, I'm so dead
Under a crowded line of fog-makers
Nobody could see me.
Ironic? No.
They couldn't see my nose, my lips even a tiny bit strands of hair
I'm dead I'm so dead
All I can do is waiting for someone to smell me
Help me!

- - -

One cold heart was needed
Two blank eyes were left by dignity
Four uncontrolled limbs the liquids took charge
Three? They left me
None could stand hearing my name after all

It's cold here, I can't sleep, can't sleep
Behind the window I can see trees making up things
Frightening? No
I could see the nose, the lips, even the tiny bit strands of hair
It's morning again and I still stare
I didn't imagine things, here she is,
I can't sleep, can't sleep
Help me!

— The End —