i gave to you my love
my loyalty
i opened my chest and let you crawl inside
you made it your home
i took the brunt of you
and still you were not pleased

i gave to you my all
every last bit
until there was nothing left to give
or to keep for myself
because if i did not
it would harm everyone around us

I was the sacrificial lamb.
i chose this life
and now that i am out
i can see how important it was to you
to have someone to hurt
it saved you from letting everyone know
just how horrible you are

but i cannot continue to sacrifice myself
i have a life i need to live
and i cant do that when i am dying over and over again
by your hand

a king, oh my, that is exactly what you are
and you know it, stringing me along
i let you, because i am so lucky to be graced by your presence
for i am nothing more than a wreck
a danger to myself
but maybe, just maybe, you see something more in me
not my mother
not my father
maybe you see ME
but as a king, you must be stoic
withholding
unwavering
i understand, i truly do, but why must a king be made of stone?
i am made from glass and water
i shatter over and over again but it stays contained
water erodes rock, you know
perhaps thats why you wont get too close
you are scared and so am i, king,
why cant we be scared together?

a terror formed from childhood
a fear of growing old
a pain of staying young
and the loss of being in between

i wandered through my childhood, never knowing where to look
i used up all my teenage years trying to find a loophole
and now i’m running away from my age, wondering desperately where my youth went.

hateful lovers
spiteful mothers
hiding underneath the covers

ceasing bothers
creasing waters
falling off of teeter totters

aging fathers
raging daughters
turning down ungrateful offers

my love is like fire, it keeps you warm but get too close and it’ll burn

my heart is like ice, cold to the touch but hug me once and i’ll start to melt

my presence is like water. i can be frozen, thawed, formed to any shape, boiled bubbled bruised and battered

i’m like a liquid, or a gas, or a solid, depending on who you ask

my body is like water, the kind that’s used in pools and lakes, for manmade reasons and people just use me to swim and swim and swim
and i never get a say
i’ll never get a say
i’m just something for you to swim in but

hey

atleast i’m being swam in.