Sweet November
That's what it was
Couldn't have asked for more
Everything was right
My dreams were coming true
And then there was you
Everything was surreal
And I wish I could feel
How I did that November
Everyone could see
Just by looking at me
That something was changed
My life was rearranged

Now that a year has passed
Things took a turn for the worse
Now what was rearranged
Is permanent
Even though you're gone
I'm left with this
And even though I have no regrets
I wanted to make the best of it
And maybe I did
But why doesn't it feel that way?
Why can't we talk like we used to?
Why do you avoid my gaze?
You act like I did something to you
Back during those days
When all I did was love you
And ask for the same in return
I didn't even do that much
And still you turn your back

I'm not gonna dwell on this
I realized you're not worth it
A tiny part of me will always belong to you
That's real sad
But it's so true
And that's the way it's gonna be
Me without you
You without me

It was a sweet November
I'll miss it forever
You taught me who I was
Then ran when I learned well
I was just beginning to excel
Oh well
Goodbye sweet November

freedom is the girl who lives away who has really started her life
freedom is the girl who dos not care what anyone thinks
freedom is the girl who realizes she cant be perfect
freedom is the girl who is willing to stand up for her self
freedom is the power to stop being so lazy
FREEDOM IS SELF EMPOWERMENT!!

NOBODYNOBODYNOBODYNOBODYNOBODY
NOBODYNOBODYNOBODYNOBODYNOBODYNOBO­DY
GLASS SPIDER PINK SPIDER GLASS PINK GLASS
Glass Spider Pink Spider
The water's all gone. Hurt
Who hurt who hurt who hurt who hurt


If this is [--] also then what's to
stop me from the other.
I am so out of control.
Why am I living?
Everybody's got somebody.
Shining Star, everybody's
covered in scabs!
Why is this making me break.
****
What makes me want to [--]
My lack of control
My anger- lack of control of anger
Depression
Lack of movement
Failure to impress or be loved
or make an impression or feel
something other than longing


LONGING unfulfillment
I don't feel fulfilled
I am a half-eaten fruit
I will now rot.
And attract the flies
Become the soil of the earth

Is that a sign?

Believe in nothing
NOBODY

See value
worth
WORTH IN ME
Time is crawling

My arm is stung by nail bees
It feels good
I feel unfulfilled

They do this to me
Who wants a crazy bit(scribbles)ch
H(scribbles)

Worth is irrelevant
Worthless
The work is not worth the
work is not worth worth
Worthless
Loveless
Rotting


You don't miss me you dumb *******
I know where the tools are
I saw them today
My arm is twitching
I want to stab this pen in an eye
TOO DIZZY
Maybe if I
stop breathing just for tonight
I'll stop thinking
perhaps
I'm too much of a
coward
too smart though not smart
enough for anyone to want me
I want to pass out
how do I make myself
pass out without making noise

Everything in the room
is an implement


This past I dont
want to revisit
although maybe I
was better then
less bitter less
upsettable less
worthless

autumn
the wind came by, and I forgot to ask
if it’d seen you.
rain
on the other side of the crowd you ran, your face
became so strange.
late night affairs
shitfaces everywhere, she almost poured her wine on the grass
I saw you getting ***** at her laughters.
people’s assumptions
they look at any couple, and immediately
“they must’ve ****** each other”
the truth of the matter is
you never know
what actually happens
in this life’s show
everything hides beside a mirror
yet all you can see
is your own horror.
But perhaps
I’m about to get over you
before the snow
right before the snow

If you could write your life in pencil,
How much simpler things would be.
When it is turned upside-down,
the slate is wiped clean!

But then again..
writing in pen could be fulfilling too.
If the situation comes around again
a quick glance back will tell you what to do.

But what if your desire
is for your mark to appear darker?
Then might I suggest, my friend,
a big.
       fat.
           black.
                    sharpie marker?


Alas, these utensils have one piece in common.
and that piece is this:
    The output seeps from that which is within.
as does the humans mouth reflect the heart's desire;
reveals the power;the soul; what lights our fire!

       understand it, can you? can I?
can we unlock our own secrets?
                     can we even try?

but maybe then, if we do, and have anything left.
                we can say our words right.
and extend a helping hand, but with a heart contrite.
to assist others in comprehending their plight.
and then.

in the end.

maybe our words will be put into pen.
or pencil

or
big.
    fat.
       black.
                sharpie marker.

If you would only ask
I’d tell you I still care.
If you would only look my way
You’d see that I’m still here.

If you would only meet my eyes
You’d see what I say is true.
Instead I feel that you despise
All and everything I do.

If you would only treat me
The way you treat the guys
I’d be as happy as could be
But you don’t even try.

If you would only speak
A few kind and caring words
It’d be easier to turn my cheek
Instead of hearing what I’ve heard.

If only you would disappear
And fade away from sight.
It would be my very worst fear
And a strange source of delight.

If you could only see how—
I suffer when you’re near.
How everyday I solemnly vow
Not to cry a single tear.

If you could only know
How I feel inside.
You would see you’ve hurt me so,
But instead I smile and hide.

You will never ask.
And I will never tell.
You will never look my way
And see that I’m not there.


(unfinished)

Depression hurts—I love you.

I feel it through my fingers…my blood.

Till finally it reaches the affectionate heart with such destructive passion.


Anger hurts—I love you.

Punching the vulnerable pillows as I lay myself down to sleep.

Wonder why it all happens now and not later.


Ignorance hurts—I love you.

Incredible countless years without knowing till now.

Perhaps a new beginning is in store for our lives.


Love hurts—I love you.

I am blessed by the existence of the soul from paradise.

Sweet and tasteful that I cannot stand to resist.


Happiness hurts—I love you.

My stomach beings to shriek in soreness,

From all the laughter and love which brought me to a better place.

Because You Said Hello

Because you said hello
My heart has been opened,
To accept a love from someone I adore.
My soul have has been awakened,
By a light it has never seen before.

Because you said hello
I can share a life once relegated to loneliness,
Dreams once reserved to fantasy,
Thoughts once shared by no one,
But finally embraced between you and me.

Because you said hello
I have a partner in life,
Someone which to share our strife.
I have a soul mate to desire,
Someone whose love will not tire.

Because you said hello
I have found a woman,
That I did not think existed.
A woman so beyond belief,
That only a movie could have depicted.

Because you said hello
I once again feel alive,
Feeling joy and bliss,
And feel a love for the first time,
I thought did not exist.