"I have an almost irresistible impulse to cut." Why won't I just do it? I'm like a drug dealer I keep pushing it to you But you won't take it The bad thing is I'm my own drug dealer And I'm trying not to give in
I'm like a drug dealer The substance I'm giving you might **** you However much you use of it The more you cut or the harder One day you'll hit a vein One day
I'm like a drug dealer You keep calling for the hook up Hoping they'll hook you up Like when you cut but the thing is You're your own drug dealer dealer "hook up" The razors the drug Waiting for you to call back It's just a little pick you up When you've been put down Temporary I may say
Sometimes I'll count the number of scars on my thighs when I'm wearing shorts. I'll also try to count the faded scars on my wrist but I can't because they are faded. Usually I'll look in the mirror and point out my flaws. I can't do that "Say you are beautiful this many times." crap because its not that easy. I've also been clean for 20 days. 20 days of no razor. Ha, why does it matter? I could be 20 seconds or 20 minutes clean. Who'd care? Exactly. Sometimes I'll find myself staying up late on a Friday night debating on weather I should cut. Sometimes I'll think someone will see my scars and ask am I a "cutter" and I'll say no because for one do not stereotype me and two I don't believe in things like that especially giving me the title of a cutter.
I get called pretty on the daily bases I get compliments on the daily bases But I don't see it You know what I see? Take the "R" out of pretty What do you have now? Petty Petty, petty, petty is what I'll always be Petty, petty, petty is all that I see
"I need some space." Space How much space do you need Justin? If you need space so much go space open the girls leg you played me with Made every week day a bad day Made every holiday a session for me to cry my eyes out A year Took me a year to get over this relationship Now when I see you all I want to do is spit in your face You got so tired of me you just stopped talking to me Acknowledging my existence each day I wanted to ask can we talk and you knew I was shy But you didn't care I usually try to tell myself boys don't care about me they just care about the features of my face and the urge to kiss my round lips make them tingle inside places I never dare to even touch They like you for the treasure inside your pants not the treasure inside your heart Now when boys talk to me, flirt with me I don't know what to do because I'm too busy thinking about you and telling myself everyone isn't like you When everyone isn't like you "I need some space." You said "Okay." I said
It's a sad thing Really is How do you separate yourself from somebody that makes you feel… so bad about yourself than you already do? Do you give up? Or try to put the ******* broken pieces together? Then again the pieces are so broken they're more like crystals This is probably separating me from my "happiness" Separating me from myself and the things I love The things I LOVE to do I used to be happier I used to be happy
Most days I have to remind myself that every voice I hear isn't you Every breath I take isn't with you around And every word that glides off my tongue isn't me saying "I love you" to you When most days I can't bring myself to say, "I'm over it." Cause I'm not I love you like the sun and moon taking turns at night And the way the birds say good morning
Having to remind myself that every step I take isn't towards you and every decision I make isn't with you around When I have to realize that every metaphor I make Isn't going to save the heartache and isn't going to stop the tears from sliding down my cheek because you are gone And I am here And the path way to my happiness just became more clear