Is this love? This contradicting bliss?
This feeling of being stepped on and having no one to help with this?
How do I stay happy?
Why am I still content,
Having someone to love and someone to resent?
Is this love? Is this love?
Why'd this happen to me?
Is this love? Is this love?
I'd rather not know
This is love that's been holding me.

I'll stay in your life
As long as you let me.
It's not what I imagined,
But it's better than nothing.
I'm content with my life as down as it gets.
I'm happy for you, you can say it's a safe bet.

I still look around to try to find you.
Represented in the lessons you taught,
I still try to stay calm with no answers, it's rough.
You lived a great life and I don't want to be selfish,
But I need you here, because I can't learn to be selfless.
I did the right thing, I stayed the better man,
But this hole in my heart can't be filled because the dirt won't stay because it's not firm, it's sand.

My days line up like the eternal lines that are on these sheets
One after another it goes on and then it repeats
I'm looking for something new
I'm searching for someone I couldn't find in you.
My god have the days gone by since I've seen your face but I wouldn't have it any other way
Ill keep writing these chills and you'll keep popping your pills
Now tell me who's far off their way again?

We've been in mountains since this has been building
I've been held up and locked up and now it's consuming
Just to let you know, I'm not that far gone

You've been in hiding, your bridges kept  burning, lord.
How am I supposed to sit back and watch you run .
Then I remember.
Rats crawl out of the holes they call home.

Turning stones and breathing smoke
The cold dry air seems to never go.
The writings clear, still written in ink
It's funny that I still have the page because I never think about
Where it's been or what you give
You're always playing the victim
When your the one who hits.

I've been working so hard
To show you that I'm more
I've been trying so hard
To be a stone you can't un-turn.

Look in the mirror to find the crack is you.
Broken in half without a thing to do
The sinks run dry you can't wash the guilt and you're in that hole again
Clawing to be free
But all you'll see is me.

Feeling like I keep stepping on land mines
While they keep blowing smoke.
Like everything I do can bring no bigger hope,
I'll fight through the storm
And feel so alone
Just to keep standing up , just waiting for someone.
I've waded through the masses
And I've accepted what my past is
I'm just never enough
I'm not worth my time
I'm done thinking like this.

Don't ever forget you're better than who you are.
Your smile lifts me up like the night time stars.
If I can bring you up without feeling down,
Then maybe one day I can leave this crown.

King of the broken with a scepter to match
It looks like my mind it's so warped and scratched
But what makes it different than intentions at glance
Is I'm willing to grow and I'm ready to chance.
You're never enough
You'll never have good luck
If that's what they say then that's what they say,
But just know this, they don't understand "different" anyway.
Something perfect doesn't need affection,
Because it'd then hate talking to imperfection.

Don't ever forget you're better than who you are.
Your smile lifts me up like the night time stars.
If I can bring you up without feeling down,
Then maybe one day I can leave this crown.

Second guessing myself and mostly everything else,
Tracing back my path I took from living in hell.
Did I take the right road?
Or did I fall astray?
Am I content with being alone
Almost every other day?

Someday I'll find you,
And you'll stop hiding.
Most times, I miss you.
I always had a bad sense of timing

I don't want this to be goodbye
I really don't.