Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need
For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush
How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me
My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want
But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality
Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self
The crickets chirp
I put the pills down