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I'm one of those girls,
That keeps a note pad by her bed,
Lays awake all night just thinking.
I'm one of those girls,
That replays moments in her head,
That thinks of words she left unsaid.
I'm one of those girls,
Always just a friend,
Nothing more.
I'm one of those girls,
One that hopes that maybe you will say,
"You're not one of those girls,
You're just the girl for me."
In the bottom of my coffee cup,
It holds no coffee,
No tea.
No, not for me.
It holds something more,
A memory.
A smile shared,
A tear cried,
A hug felt
For all time.
In the bottom of my coffee cup,
There is no you,
No me.
Only us.
What is,
Was,
And is to be.
If I could write a million stories
about the way things used to be,
I wouldn’t write a one.
I’ve tried to forget, to forgive,
pretend you never happened.
It simply doesn’t work.
But I’ve done my crying and
I’m no longer angry.
So I’d like to say, finally,
that you made me who I am today.
For better or for worse, I let you in.
And I’m okay with that, and
have a good day, because…
I will.
it's been eight months already
and i could still trace the scars
that danced up your arms as
your hands danced across
my body.

it's been eight months already
and although i hardly knew you
your every kiss breathed life back
into me.

it's been eight months already
and i still don't know what
i was looking for but i found it
in the rise and fall of
our bodies.

it's been eight months already
since you picked up my pieces
and melted them together with
the heat and the passion i saw
in you.

thank you, stranger, for saving me
from myself.
forgive any errors, i'll fix them when i'm not on my phone.

jamie approves.
I've never felt anything like this before.
It's like my heart is too heavy to beat.
My lungs crave carbon monoxide.

My eyes dart over every passing car.
Every cigarette is another memory.
My car is filled with music my ears are scared to hear.

I yearn for something to dull the pain.
Anything.

This hurt and loss runs too deep, the river runs too fast.
I cannot cut or bleed it out.
I cannot dream or wish this away.
It is all too real.
It is all too soon.

If I had known being left and forgotten would be this bad,
I never would have opened up.
I never would have worried.
I never would have shared.
I never would have trusted,
wanted,
needed,
or loved.

I knew it was new and different.
I knew it was dangerous.
I never knew how much.

How could you have never said it was over?
I can see no "see you later"s in our future.
I see only goodbyes.
Or maybe it was too much.
September 1st, 2010.
Where has the time gone?

When did I see you last?

From it all you have withdrawn

Become a part of the past

And though I long for your embrace

I don’t know where to start

Because every time I see your face

It only breaks my heart
I wrote this about I friend of mine I care about deeply, but she's got a lot of things going on in her life that she hides from me.
Step back--
in a flash
see your life,
nose to glass.

Then it's gone.

You are here.
Still here.

What is this?
This cruel pain?
And from where?
Why you?
Why now?
Why take away
your good life?

the memories--
so colorful
and vibrant

Look back--
at the past.
All mistakes

this is why--
a second chance
and yet one more
to put things right.
I believe in first glances
And second chances,
That the third time is a charm

If in the end I stumble and I fall
I know it was worth it all.
I'll have no regrets.

I put all my faith in a feeling,
All my heart in hoping.
But somehow I always end up heart broken.

Is this how it ends?
No 'happily ever after',
Not even just friends?
c
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