I managed to survive the last week of September without you, still stung with disbelief.
I got through October dazed and drunk, smoking more than ever before.
Through November ended mistakes brought from October's drunken nights, but brought more pain than I could breathe through, or bleed out.
December flourished without you, made me believe that maybe this would all get easier.
January continued flourishing, but heavy bricks rained down upon my head, conjuring up wishes that you were here to help.
February started the distractions, the utter confusion, and brought back the inklings of pain.
Without you, I got through the endless amounts of stress that March dragged in and out of my heart, and I reached goals without you there to hold my hand.
But April, I narrowly escaped. I barely took a solid breathe that wasn't tinged with a thought of you all month. I didn't go a night without questioning your existence, and mine. Seeing you for the first time since that last week in September destroyed me.
And now, May, I know I can remain living without you, but it won't be without you on my mind. The memories of this month will haunt me, just like last month's haunted me. But I'll scream, cry, curse past the pain and walk into June with a confident smile.